satirical musings about eastern climbers

Bill Kirby wrote: That makes me sad!!! I sold mine with 217,000 miles of trouble free love. I decided on buying a new one. Now I have an over complex machine that costs me 700 bones/month for the next three years. Enjoy that truck..

• * Has nothing to do with this thread **

Lol. Mines an 04, and has been a good gal - but not trouble free. Major stuff I've done is injectors @ 165K, one failed injector supply line, and at 207K I pulled the trans (auto 48re) and rebuilt it in the shed. Found my clutch plates were in damn good shape and prob would of went another 75K, but my torque converter was on its last legs. Ive plowed with it since 04, and tow heavy most every weekend in the summer for a part time gig.

Even when/if this one dies - I'll never get a newer engine. I'll find a low mileage 04-05. A: I dont want another 650 dollar truck payment. And B: the newer engines are too complicated for their own good.

Though I have to say, god damn the newer models are nice.

• ****** This doesn't either********

My 2003 2500 had the original tranny and the original batteries at 217,000.

I replaced the steering at 195,000 but other than that regular maintenance.

My 2014 is a country Caddy. Remote start, heated and AC seats, heated steering wheel, stitched leather dash and 750 Lb/ft torque. The sticker was $20,000 more than my 2003 plus there's DEF to buy :(

You are out climbing this week in NC, TN, WV, or KY because it is 70 degrees and sunny while the Boulderites are headed to the gym after they finish shoveling the snow.

People from Boulder don't shovel snow....they live as one with it....and then pay someone else to shovel

Funny stuff!

• You've had a chigger bite (and you’ll never forget the experience).
• Switchbacks annoy you.
• You tread cautiously when mountain goats stalk you out West, but casually disregard black bears at home.
• You’ve “tried” aid climbing and own the gear but haven’t found it to be rewarding. Not even a little.
• Calling someone “crusty” is a compliment.
• You regard any 5.11 roof out West to be Gunks 5.8.

When you rather meet your buddies at the bar & plan a 10pm departure for Fri night because you hate driving through the Boston traffic (goin to NH) or NYC traffic (goin WV/KY) that much.

"Bro, the ice in North Carolina is killer."

Doesn't look at supertopo ever.

When asked if they could never climb at the New again where would they climb they say Summersville. (stolen from enormocast)

drinking hot chocolate and reading this thread was a bad idea

When you're glad it's raining because you were dreading leading that spicy route you told everyone you were going to do that day.

You are the fourth person to claim the "FA" of a problem/route that is rediscovered and re-cleaned every seven years.

You laugh out loud every time someone claims they've found a "new" boulder, crag, or cliff in Eastern Mass. Especially in the greater Boston area.

Standard spring gear includes a head net for black fly season.

Cracker wrote:You are the fourth person to claim the "FA" of a problem/route that is rediscovered and re-cleaned every seven years.

I have the third FA of Red Route, among others. Got "Consolation Prize" FA after so not a total loss. Not that it was in the first place.

Cracker wrote:You are the fourth person to claim the "FA" of a problem/route that is rediscovered and re-cleaned every seven years. You laugh out loud every time someone claims they've found a "new" boulder, crag, or cliff in Eastern Mass. Especially in the greater Boston area. Standard spring gear includes a head net for black fly season.

lol, just posted the other day, read the comments-
mountainproject.com/v/stick…
mountainproject.com/v/baby-…

"You tread cautiously when mountain goats stalk you out West, but casually disregard black bears at home."

Hahaha, this is super true. I've been sketched out by goats in Montana and Washington even waited midroute for a goat to leave before topping out. but as for Bears, they're "just black bears" out here.

T Roper wrote: lol, just posted the other day, read the comments- mountainproject.com/v/stick… mountainproject.com/v/baby-…

Another good one right here:
mountainproject.com/v/small…

I'll add: You claim a "top rope first ascent."

You think 45*, overcast and high humidity are great conditions because you'll only see 30 other climbers at the Gunks.

A couple of places near Taos the Bighorns like to look over the edge at you climbing. Better than getting bit by a snake or eyeing up a tarantula

Bill Kirby wrote: You've wandered around in the Adirondacks looking for what you read in Adk Rock.

Adk Rock is amazing...you can actually find the crag! The true ADK lost in the woods expereinces came from its predecessor, Don Mellor's "Burgandy Book of Lies". Vague, incomplete, and sometimes intentionally misleading. A truly majestic work of sandbagging.

Anyway, another one for the Dacks climbers (specifically at Poko):

"Sport climbing" entails a set of draws, a set of RPs, and a screamer.

JCM wrote: Adk Rock is amazing...you can actually find the crag! The true ADK lost in the woods expereinces came from its predecessor, Don Mellor's "Burgandy Book of Lies". Vague, incomplete, and sometimes intentionally misleading. A truly majestic work of sandbagging. Anyway, another one for the Dacks climbers (specifically at Poko): "Sport climbing" entails a set of draws, a set of RPs, and a screamer.

Haha.. The ol "Climbing in the Adirondacks". Don has a unique perspective about climbing. He told me that climbing should have a certain amount of adventure. That seems to be fading fast these days.

It's called Adirondack sport! I do feel bad for the kid who looks up, sees bolts and leaves the ground with just draws. His friends down on the ground laughing.

Colin Loher put up a bunch of sport routes that don't involve 60 foot whippers. We just scoped at that crag and some adjacent MTB trails last weekend.

My first 2 trips to the desert i was deathly afraid of snakes:) First time in Zion I had a doubble rack of micro nuts and small stoppers but only two cams. A 2 1/2 and a #3 to go with my #10 hex. that was terrifying!