What do you tell non-climbers what your crash pad is?

My buddy and I were hiking around in Sequoia National Park one summer. Me with a pad and a brush on a painters pole. My friend had a light rack in a backpack with some gear hanging off the back.

After bouldering for the day we popped out onto the trail in front of a big group of tourists. One rather large guy asked loudly "What'd yall doing with that stuff?" After pondering for a minute I told him we were hired by the National Park Service to hike through the forrest and clean the moss off the trees, except on the north sides. That way if you get lost, you'll know which way north was. We continued on our way and overheard him say to the group, "That sounds like a lot of work."

Fossil Digging Kit

A friend and I were waiting by String Lake in the Tetons one day, hoping to bum a canoe ride to the island boulder when a group of hikers asked "whats that thing?" I suppse I'd gotten frustrated with the wait. So, I said "Its my home made boat. We're here to test it out" being an old school vinyl Fish pad we just walked over to the the water, chucked it in, and used it to float our dry gear over to Boulder Island. Damn that water's cold. But the looks we got were priceless.

We're just part of the narcoleptic hiking team, out for a stroll. Our modo being..."are you up for the challenge?"

Bear Wrestling mat

Human's aside, we occasionally go out to a local boulderfield that is right off of a horse trail. I was stunned the first time I went out as horses spook very easily when they see something odd. Needless to say, the horse in front of us on the trail jump when it saw our pads on our backs and proceeded to back itself into a shrub corner and waited for us to walk by. That is probably the funniest thing I have ever seen. Horse + crashpad = scared horse.

pads to catch the local insane asylum escapee. you should watch out for him, he tends to lick people

I tend to just fall backwards. Awkwardly get up. Explain I'm one clumsy kid. Shrug my shoulders. Then walk away with confused faces/laughter behind me.

I was once asked if i was going paragliding as I walked through the woods underneath the cliff. I of course exclaimed Hell yeah.

i tell people it is for mountain biking and just keep walking up the trails. (without a bike) usually they say "oh, i get it"

Moose Saddle

Russian backpack or... g.b.s.p. (gay butt-sex pad).

On a trip a few years back I was walking through Joshua Tree with two male friends and a female friend. About four or five different groups of people asked us what our pads were for and initially we tried to give accurate descriptions for the use of a crash pad. With each group our answers got shorter and shorter as we were just trying to get on our way to climb.

After about the fourth or fifth group our lady friend juts in and says "I am getting gang banged by these three young men. Would you like to join?"

The look on the hikers' faces were priceless.

Muff wrote:On a trip a few years back I was walking through Joshua Tree with two male friends and a female friend. About four or five different groups of people asked us what our pads were for and initially we tried to give accurate descriptions for the use of a crash pad. With each group our answers got shorter and shorter as we were just trying to get on our way to climb. After about the fourth or fifth group our lady friend juts in and says "I am getting gang banged by these three young men. Would you like to join?" The look on the hikers' faces were priceless.

Best one yet!

EJH wrote:My buddy and I were hiking around in Sequoia National Park one summer. Me with a pad and a brush on a painters pole. My friend had a light rack in a backpack with some gear hanging off the back. After bouldering for the day we popped out onto the trail in front of a big group of tourists. One rather large guy asked loudly "What'd yall doing with that stuff?" After pondering for a minute I told him we were hired by the National Park Service to hike through the forrest and clean the moss off the trees, except on the north sides. That way if you get lost, you'll know which way north was. We continued on our way and overheard him say to the group, "That sounds like a lot of work."

clever...you have my vote

Ah, haha, this happened to me today. I shot them an intense glare, bore my teeth and said, "It's a lounging mechanism". Best thing I could come up with in the time, but they didn't ask anything else ;)

.........a reindeer saddle.

Bear saddle.

Professional picnicers

A bed.