Dreaming of Climbing

I have been a longtime climber out here since 1992 or so. I first came out for spring break in 1988 and climbed Group Therapy with a guy named Jerry. (I can't even remember his last name) From the moment I set foot in Red Rock I knew Las Vegas would be my home eventually. For many reasons too numerous to describe I have gotten away from climbing the past few years and missed it very much. I started up again a few months ago and am slowly getting back into shape. I hooked up with a very talented young climber who I am having a mutual mentoring relationship at the moment. He leads the hard stuff and I teach him about placing gear, systems and especially route finding. I think without me, this guy would find himself horribly lost out in the desert or on a wall much like I had been so many times when I first started climbing here at Red Rock.

I have been telling my new partner and friend about my favorite climb in Red Rocks since we met. I told him that not only is it my favorite climb in the park but it is my favorite climb in the entire world. I have climbed in many places and want to still climb in many more but this route to me is like sacred ground. So the other day we make a plan to do the route and this is where this may get a bit strange but I think you’re going to like it anyway. I haven't been on this particular route for many years because of the above mentioned layoff and am almost overflowing with excitement because I can't wait to get back on this thing again and see how I will do. I am not at my best in terms of fitness but I am not at my worst. I have climbed this route too many times to count and it never gets old. So the plan is made and I go to bed anticipating another stellar day at Red Rocks.

Surprisingly I fall asleep almost immediately and start dreaming like no other dream I have ever had in the past. This is how it went down. Wait one more thing before I start, I don't know if you ever had a lucid dream before but I think this is what it was. I have not even heard the term before but had to do a little research after the dream because this dream was so vivid it was like a movie and I was the director. It kind of freaked me out but in a good way.
Here we go; it starts off like any normal day. I drive down to my buddy’s house and pick him up. He gets in the car and we start driving to Red Rock. It goes pretty quick because I live in Summerlin about 6 miles from the gate. As we drive I am seeing everything I normally see when I am awake. We stop at Dunkin Donuts; we drive past the gun range, Calico Basin etc. and then turn into the park. It is so clear that it is like I am sitting in an IMAX Theater watching it unfold in 3-D. We are talking about the normal stuff we talk about; our wives, our dogs, the rotten state of the economy our jobs that we are not too thrilled with and our hopes for the future. We cover it all and I could tell you word for word what we said but that would take way too long and probably put you to sleep.

We get to the parking lot and we are the 3rd car in the lot and this is where the dream gets a little stranger but still is not freaking me out yet. In the parking lot there are a few cars, a few motorcycles a bunch of horses and exactly 5 adult elephants and a newborn baby elephant. (WTF that means will be up to someone else lol) We get out and go to the trunk open it and we forgot all the gear. I tell my new mentee who I have started calling apprentice of the obvious that he screwed up and why didn't he bring the gear. He just gets a dumb look on his face and apologizes by saying, "I am sorry great master of the obvious please find it in your heart to forgive me." How can I not forgive a dopey apprentice of the obvious? I forgive and instead of letting our day be ruined I tell him we will hike out to the route and take a look. We start hiking and I am getting a bit annoyed again because it is the perfect day and the apprentice forgot the gear.. No wind no clouds and it’s about 72 degrees. The hike is pretty normal except for the occasional elephant and camel we see walking around the desert but it's a dream so we are really not caring about them or paying attention to them.

We get to the base of the wall and I point out a few routes to the lets call him AOO (Apprentice of the obvious) for short. I can see him getting wide-eyed. He has never seen this type of wall before; he is in awe and knows we are approaching sacred ground. We walk a couple hundred yards up the canyon and come to the base of the jewel and I can see the AOO is getting really sad. I am not sure what is wrong with the guy. He tells me he can't believe he forgot the gear and ruined our day. I tell him the day is not ruined and just walking on the sacred ground is enough for me and he could learn to appreciate things more blah blah blah. I now give him the option because I was thinking to myself on the way in how cool it would be to solo this route. (This is something in my waking time I have always dreamed of. I also heard that people have done it but I don't think that is happening for me because I am way too much of a chicken.) So I say we could solo the thing AOO? What do you think? His eyes light up because as an AOO he is way too enthusiastic and he is game. Shit, I was kind of hoping he would say no. So I got my running shoes on and he's got his high heels on (remember it's a dream lol) and we start climbing. In the dream it is going so easy. We are in flow. It's almost like we are levitating but we are still going hand over hand climbing this route like we were born to climb it. We get to the crux section and instead of the normal route it is a tunnel and we must go in. We know that but we are not sure because this tunnel is dark and we have no headlamps. As we approach the tunnel it begins to suck us in. and now we are floating up the tunnel and it is beginning to feel like the birth canal or something. It is dark and wet and freaky. We start to see some light as we approach the end of the tunnel and in an instant we are sitting on the midpoint of the route on the same perfect day when we started. No floating, no high heels, all the gear we forgot and a bunch of food to finish the route. It feels like a normal day again. So we start climbing again but before we go there is a guy sitting on the ledge and it is one of my oldest and best-est friends. A guy who the whole climbing community loves and adores. I can't believe he is up here. Every time I go climbing without this guy I feel like I am cheating on him. He makes the whole experience that much better with his funny stories and ancient wisdom. So I say WTF man, what are you doing here? He says Look here you two dummies. You are only a master of the obvious and you brought this nitwit with you a mere apprentice of the obvious and your soloing something that is way beyond your mental capacity. I as the Transcendent Master of the Obvious command you to go home and go back to sleep. At this point in the dream we are instantly transported back to our beds and I can't remember a damn thing from there. The best dream I ever had and I don't even get to finish the route. lol

Alright here is where it gets fun for all of you. I am having a contest. If you can guess what route I was dreaming about I have a couple of brand new cams here size.... I think 5 and 6 camalot that I have hardly ever used. If you guess the route you can have your choice of which one you want. If you guess who the dream Transcendent master of the obvious is you can have the other one. If you guess who I am and who the AOO is you can have your pick through all of my old climbing (just don't take too much and get greedy) gear because I am going to buy some new stuff as soon as I get some cash. If you ask nicely I will give you some hints as to who these people are. I think you will get who the Master is and the route pretty quickly but I doubt you will know who I am and I don't think you will have a chance at guessing who the AOO is. If I know you and you get it right away please don't give it away. We will go out for dinner on me and reminisce about the past.

Hope you enjoyed the dream because I sure did!

DUDE!!! Where did you get your acid? I thought the stuff had dried up here in LV!! ;-)

Going for the obvious, is the route Dream of Wild Turkeys?

As to who you are and whom your apprentice is...
...I have no idea, nor do I dare to guess less I insult a master.

Tunnel Vision?

I would have to say Tunnel Vision as well since Group therapy is also on the Angel Food Wall. I did Purblind Piller thought it was better than Tunnel vision. Havent done Group Therepy but watched some really disfunctional scary noobs flail on this route. It seems like the descent covers more ground than the climbs.

I'm guessing Levitation 29 and Jorge Urioste.

Congratulations to John Wilder he wins his choice of the two cams. Message me in private and we will set up how you get your prize. The very first thing you get though is the title of Master of the Obvious that is much more valuable then the material cams.

thats a lot of writing.

Phil Lauffen wrote:thats a lot of writing.

I'm dreaming of paragraphs!! lol

Im gonna guess the dude you saw on the ledge was Wendell Broussard.

You are a dude who had way too much free time! lol, JK I enjoyed the story, especially the elephants!

I remember hiking out there on my way to Crabby Appleton and I saw some sheep (which I thought were huge rabbits cuz of the tails!)

As for the route, I would have guessed Epi, so good to know that mighta been right.

The apprentice...hmmm...newbies are a-plenty so you got me there! :o)

That was fun :o) Now...back to work for me :o(

I'm gonna guess you are Dean Potter and your AOO is Steph Davis.

Jesse is the runner up by guessing non-other than the Great Transcendent Master of the Obvious Wendell Broussard. Jessie almost disqualified himself because I climbed with him many years ago. I don't think he can be a master of the obvious himself because he is a bit slow. Ask him about the time he got rescued on Tunnel Vision by the helicopter. Don't ask him who I am or he will be disqualified. He really isnt as sharp as the aoo even though he is some kind of civil engineer so I will give him the title of novice of the obvious.
Well done Jesse for a novice

Obviously Yours
The Master

Have you seen the walk-off from Tunnel Vision?!?! Who here hasnt topped off and wished a chopper would come pick em up & drop em off at the car??? LOL :o) Good Times!

Im thinking of doing Eagle Dance next week...perhaps Sgt. Bassett can have a pilot standing by...

Hallucinations in the desert are a time honored tradition in the Vegas Valley!

Nice story.

If there was a prize for best dream so far cmn is in the lead. The fellatio action is priceless!! I may make you a Master of the Obvious!!

John, You really don't want the Cam? You got the route right. Wasn't it obvious? Consider yourself a true Master of the Obvious (M.O.T.O) for short. Well done! Any suggestions for a new contest? I still have this brand new cam collecting dust. How about someone draw Wendell Broussard as he appeared in the dream. Whoever does it the closest gets the cam John doesn't want.
What he looked like in the dream is pretty obvious. Think of Wendell's over sized noggin and a Buddha and you are really close! Don't forget to put in that personal touch!

Thanks again John. Maybe you and I can just go climbing then?

Cosmiccragsman is the leader of the art contest over at Supertopo.com Boys

Cosmic May be a Universal Master of the Obvious!! Get on the ball!!!