Lead Climbing Anxieties

Liz Neudeck wrote: There's totally a weird dynamic I've noticed with relationships and belay partners... since there's so many emotions involved and you guys know eachother so well, I personally think it's important to have somewhat of an emotional disconnect when climbing. If one person is scared and the other empathizes with them, it kind of bounces back and fourth and escalates to something way huger than it is. Be confident and calm as a belayer, and realize that especially when leading easy stuff at VA there's really little risk involved as long as your systems are good!

To be honest, I've experienced this so much in relationships that I prefer to have a random (but competent) stranger belay me than my significant other on hard shit I'm scared of. Maybe that's just me, and maybe I just secretly don't want strangers to know I'm scared, or maybe it helps me focus on climbing... regardless, I've actually found it a pretty effective cure to my head game.

+1. Some of my hardest sends have been with new partners (that were vetted for competency). 

buy a large stick stick clip. stick the 2nd bolt and alleviate your fear of decking. 

This may sound weird but whatever: Find a good overhanging climb with a safe fall zone that is right at your limit. If you need to stick clip the first couple bolts, go for it. Safety first. But get on something with a clean fall zone and a good belayer and just summit or plummet. When you get to that point where you want to back off or take because you're afraid, just compose your thoughts for one second and look at your system. You're in a gym. You're probably 3 feet above your last draw, at most. You're on a rope tied to a competent belayer. You've got plenty of air below you so you're not going to ground. Tell your partner "watch me here" if that makes you feel better. Now GO FOR IT. If you fall, great practice. If you don't fall, great practice. It's the anxiety about MAYBE falling that is the energy sapper. 

Another thought--come up with some sort of phrase that semi-casually lets your belayer know "hey, I am scared as shit/getting pumped and I need to know that you're paying attention and not talking to some rando about the last 6 (terrible) seasons of American Horror Story."

My girlfriend and I tend to say "Look Alive" and I've heard plenty of others say "watch me." Heck, half the time, I KNOW my girlfriend is paying attention, but saying "Look Alive" is my internal "alright, you're safe, time to commit, no backing out now" pep talk that gives me the head game to move through the next section as confidently as I can without worrying about what my fall could look like. Yeah, I still get scared sometimes but, at least for me, I feel like (and for my own sake, hope...) working through the mental game is part of trying to get through the plateau of 5.10 climbing. 

www.mindfulroutes.com

I'm still working on learning to lead trad... I led a 5.9+ this weekend that made me proud.

The worry about falling from the first or second piece and decking is relatable... that's what makes me the most nervous.  After I am far enough up to know that even if I ripped a piece I still won't deck, I feel a lot more confident.

I don't particularly like falling and it's not something I do a lot.  I probably ought to learn to be more okay with it.  I don't think it's a bad idea to take some falls.  I wouldn't want to do that on the low angle trad stuff I climb.

But the other side of the equation from "feeling good falling" is feeling better about moving up.  That's been a struggle for me.  There are a lot of things I have tried and which I think have helped a bit.

One thing is the rational observation that, if I move just a bit higher, then I am actually in a safer position, either for clipping or placing a piece or whatever.  So even though I might be gripped, if I can see the next 2 moves and a spot to place gear or clip then I have found myself a lot more willing to go ahead and move.  My irrational mind would often rather not pull 4-5 moves and get 20' off the ground before placing a piece, and so if I don't actively make that decision I get a lot more gripped.  But once I know what the moves are to get myself into a safer, higher position it feels a lot better to actually do that, even if I am further from the "safety" of the ground.

Another thing that I have noticed is that sometimes (espeically when I am, say, on solo top rope and trying to manage my system without falling off) I've noticed that I care more about "protecting the move" instead of "making the move".  This is especially a bad habit when the move is fairly obvious but I just don't want to pull it.  I've got a lot of little mantras or things that I tell myself... mostly things like "I am in the business of climbing up and not falling down, so that is what I am going to do here" or "making this move is more important to me than feeling safe while making the move".  Those are things that I consciously tell myself while leading.  Making the conscious decision that climbing the route is more important than the feeling of safety that would come from just stopping for a bit helps me move.

Finally, when I'm toproping stuff, I play around a lot and push on my ability to move.  I will try things that are way too hard for me, or if I know the climb is easier, I will either try it with a better style or with harder variations.  I am typically leading at a far lower level than I will toprope.  This weekend I TR'd a 5.11a just fine onsight, and I led a 10a sport onsight... but to be really comfortable on trad lately I have been feeling that 8 or 9 is where I am wholly in control.

That feeling of being wholly in control is probably the most important thing to me when I am leading, and a lot of it comes from being able to actually climb a lot harder than a route demands.
 
The obvious method of cultivating that feeling is to just climb a lot and get better.  

What is less obvious is that you can learn to identify that feeling of being in control more quickly if you think about it when it is happening.  I do this whenever I toprope anything.  When it is going smoothly, I literally say to myself "this is what it feels like to have control over my climbing", and then when I am leading I try to see if I am experiencing that same feeling of control.  I often find that I am.  Because at the end of the day, I can climb just as hard on TR, on lead, or on no rope at all: the differences are all in how I feel about the situation.  And I can learn how to identify that feeling so that when I am leading I know that I can climb whatever it is that I am working on (or back off when I start to lose the feeling).

Like this weekend, that's why I'm most proud of this "easy" 5.9+ I led... for the entirety of the climb, I was able to summon up that feeling of "I am wholly in control of how fast I go up or down this rock".

In the long run, learning that feeling of being in control is a large part of why I climb.  I dunno if any of that is helpful, but the idea that "being able to identify when we are confident" is a learned skill wasn't super obvious to me.

Thom Glick wrote:

I would like to have more confidence in my clipping. My issue is less about getting the rope clipped and more about trusting my hand and feet to keep me anchored long enough to make the clip. This past week I started an actual hangboard training routine to build more confidence with this.

Do this technique drill every day at the rock gym.  Rather than 'just' warming pick two lower grade lets say 5.6 routes to warm up on.  When you climb it, every time you move your hand up you have to drop your other hand below your waist.  Alternate hands all the way up the route then pick another 5.6 route to do the drill on.  Once this becomes easy move onto doing the technique drill on 5.7 then 5.8 and so on.  This drill will force you to find rest positions where you normally wouldn't rest on.  Then when you are leading you will be able to recognize how to get into a rest positions to clip.

Just get out and climb, your fears will slowly melt away.......until you deck clipping second bolt with a hand full of slack, then start over.... repeat as needed

Thom Glick wrote:Recently, my girlfriend (who is my main climbing partner) and I took a lead climbing class at our local gym, passed the gym's tests, and even took our skills outdoors with a guide shortly after. Ramping up to the test, we were climbing a lot and felt very on top of our game. Almost immediately after passing the test at the gym, we unexpectedly took off 1.5-2 weeks for work and travel. When we returned to the gym to get back on lead, we had lost our nerve. We did a couple of very easy routes, but backed off as soon as we felt a fall was possible and went back to top-roping.  

We love climbing. We've been at it for a few years -- mostly in a gym on top-rope. Passing the lead climbing test was a huge milestone for us. We can't tell if we're in a spot where top-roping is enough for us and maybe we feel obligated to push ahead with the lead climbing OR we really see the joy in lead climbing but need to get past our fears to experience the good feels.

My armchair psychoanalysis: when you were preparing for your lead class, practicing, taking a lead test, you had someone there telling you to do things. You (maybe subconsciously) felt safer about it, because there was an instructor, a person of authority, telling you to take a fall, and surely they were not asking you to do something unsafe! They had the routes picked for you to do it on, they told you at which bolt to fall. Your belayer probably had a back up in all those practice tests, too!Now that external motivator and extra safety margin is gone. Your gf may have felt unsure about falling in class, also, but it was a class, she knew that it was part of the class, there were people watching, she probably had mentally prepared herself for it in advance. 

Only you, and your gf, know whether you are going with lead climbing motions because you feel you must, it’s the supposed progression, or if you are doing it because you truly want to. 

There are many people who just climb happily in the gym, get a great workout, enjoy the social aspect of it, and don’t want anything more. It is totally fine, if that is your thing. 

If you are sure that you want to lead, try re-creating the external stimulus: e.g., if you and your gf are meeting some friends at the gym, tell that friend in advance that you are going to climb lead X many routes. Take A lead fall. Or 5. Ask them to keep you accountable. A little bit of friendly competition might be good, if you have friends in the same experience level. 

In the end, time will tell. People tell themselves that they want to do something, but if time goes by, and they aren’t doing it, they don't really want to, not badly enough, no matter how often they talk about wanting it. Do your thing, have fun with it. 

Smoking pot helps. Unless it doesn't. Smoke pot check your knot

trailridge wrote: Smoke pot check your knot

Someone put this on a shirt

I am just going to throw this out there, (Disclaimer....I don't frequent gyms) getting a lead card or test or what ever it is you get from the gym is like getting a drivers license from bumper cars, you might know how to signal and turn but it does not mean you are ready for the variables that come with climbing outdoors. Also there is no way another person can tell you if you are ready to lead, it comes from you, you will know when you're ready. Climbing is a constant personal test, always try to improve, no one else can grade you on this. Set goals, prepare and go achieve greatness. Once you lead that climb that has scared you for awhile or onsite-ing a grade higher than you usually do, that is the test and they don't hand out pretty tags to hang from harness for this, the reward is the feeling inside, no one else can give you that passing grade.

Another angle to consider is that your relationship with your own fear can be both beneficial and detrimental to your climbing.  I tend to think of my fear as something I want to shape to the point that it is nuanced and mainly shows up in objectively dangerous situations.  I suggest thinking in terms of tweaking your fear response, as opposed to beating or overcoming it.  

This is one of the central topics in "The Rock Warrior's Way" Just FYI. 

Mike Thielvoldt wrote: Another angle to consider is that your relationship with your own fear can be both beneficial and detrimental to your climbing.  I tend to think of my fear as something I want to shape to the point that it is nuanced and mainly shows up in objectively dangerous situations.  I suggest thinking in terms of tweaking your fear response, as opposed to beating or overcoming it.  

This is one of the central topics in "The Rock Warrior's Way" Just FYI. 

very well said....

Sorry but I gotta say it. Have you practiced decking? Or golf? 

Noah R wrote:

Someone put this on a shirt

I design apparel graphics. I can make this happen.

Kief Manning wrote: Sorry but I gotta say it. Have you practiced decking? Or golf? 

I have not practiced decking. Do you recommend that?

I played a round of golf years ago. I didn't care for it. For 20 years I did race and train as a distance cyclist. I hung that up after my last 20+ mph spill that slid me 15 feet across pavement. With only a thin layer of lycra to protect me, I was messed up for a while. Climbing feels safer to me somehow.

Turner wrote: Check out "The Rock Warriors Way".

Something that helps is taking a lot of practice falls. Go to your local gym and whip your heart out, it'll start to be fun after awhile!

This.

I just got back into climbing and leading less than a year ago and wanted to get my head back into the game so I bought this book.

I really thought it was going to be Bullsh!t and cheesy but it actually is really good.

 Really worth the read, in my opinion.

One of the key things a lot of people get wrong is to go for some fall practice. Get in a position where they're in for a big fall, get scared, brace themselves, fall - and in the process reinforce the connection between fear and falling.

A better way is to take it really easy  with small falls after clipping above your head and do it so many times you're bored of it and really eager to get to the next stage where you clip at your chest and drop, clip at your waist and drop, etc.

In other words, your state of mind when practising taking falls is imperative to reinforce the right emotional connections

Foy O wrote: The difference for me was when I stopped just practicing falling and practiced more going for the committing move and if I stick it - sweet. But if I don't, take a good fall.

I don't think this works well unless you do the practice falling first.