Vertical Camping Food

Yo, so I think I've had enough Lentils and Rice for a little while and I'm tryna spice up the vertical camping menu this year. Any ya'll got some recipes for some good stuff that'll smell a lot nicer in ye ol shcmoop tube and feel a lot nicer in my belly. Yes, I realize dehydrated food is king but I dont got the funds for that, plus that stuff moves through ya like a brick. Basically whats the fanciest stuff you've dined on at La Stone*french accent

Anything from a can is tasty - beans, Progresso soups, ravioli, chili, I bring lots of crackers like Wheat Thins and Duos.  

Are you seriously still using a poop tube that weighs a ton, stinks to high heaven, and never dries out???  Don't you know the Better Way?  

Dehydrated taco meat, can of beans, tortillas, and some stolen packets of hot sauce from any fast food mexi joint… good Pete?

Canned fruit, bagels withNutella, stovetop  stuffing with canned chicken salad. Basically anything I can get down without a stove and minimal extra water. 

 Variety is king. My three favorites are canned ravioli, canned peaches and backpackers pantry shepherds potato and beef stew. 

Andrew O'Brienwrote:

Basically anything I can get down without a stove and minimal extra water. 

This! 

dehydrated stuff doesn't make much sense if you're carrying all your water anyways.  A lot of cheeses and vegetables will last longer than you think outside a refrigerator.

https://www.mountainproject.com/forum/topic/122497884/some-climbers-and-their-breakfast-burrito

I’m a fan of pink salmon packets and crackers when on the move. Some people think they’re terrible tho...also won’t make the shit shaft any better smelling lol

Peter Zabrokwrote:

Anything from a can is tasty - beans, Progresso soups, ravioli, chili, I bring lots of crackers like Wheat Thins and Duos.  

Are you seriously still using a poop tube that weighs a ton, stinks to high heaven, and never dries out???  Don't you know the Better Way?  

What's the Better Way?

Jason Sealswrote:

What's the Better Way?

Get the book….hahaha I figured that would be the response 

The only time dehydrated makes sense is for variety. Instant mashed potatoes w/ salami and cheese cut into it is excellent.

Jason Sealswrote:

What's the Better Way?

Be like the great leader, absorb energy from the sun and don't poop.

Jokes aside I'm curious what he means as well.

I bought ten cans of BBQ vienna sausages that were on sale and then learned upon opening a tin that I'd rather eat cat food. 

I told a friend that I was thinking of giving them to a food bank and she said that seemed pretty cruel and I should just give them to hungry dirtbags instead. So I'll be bringing them to the valley this season and slingin them on whatever dirtbags will take them. If any of yas need nine cans of what is supposedly called food then hit me up.

Also, Pete's better way is indeed a better way, UNLESS your route has bad hauling. If it does have bad hauling your haul will literally turn to shit. 

Tasty bites (packaged Indian food)+ramen. Cook it or don’t 

Summer sausage, cheese, and trailmix for lunch. Fruit cups, granola and dried milk, grits for breakfast, tasty bites and freeze dried meals for dinner. I did my first wall without freeze dried meals for the same reasons why others have listed here: why bring something that I need to add water to? The thing I realized is the food has water in it either way; it either comes with it or you add it. Yeah, you're not getting the same advantage the freeze dried meals offer when you're backpacking, but I personally really like the variety, high calorie count, and taste.

+1 for tasty bites poured into a pre cooked rice packet (or vice versa)

Patrick Mwrote:

+1 for tasty bites poured into a pre cooked rice packet (or vice versa)

Have you found any pre-cooked rice that’s good straight from the packet? The ones I’ve tried have been undercooked to allow for some cooking when heated.. sorta crunchy when eaten cold 

I think last one I had was an uncle bens and it was nothing to write home about.  Usually by the end of a day I’m so out of it I don’t care haha

I can't believe I forgot to mention Tasty Bites.  I can't believe Tasty Bites has discontinued their best entree, which was their awesome Pad Thai.

Ricky and Kurt both have personal experience with the Better Way to take a dump on a wall, and will hopefully explain how to do it, why it doesn't smell, and how much lighter and smarter it is than a poop tube.

You might want to make a visit to Trader Joe's first ... [HINT]

Pete's system is you poop in a paper grocery store bag, fold that up, tape it shut, and put that bag in a mesh bag. 

First you tear the four corners of the paper bag and fold them down half way to give you a more comfortable squatting stance. I used this mesh bag: 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07K87GKXD?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

It has a little storage pouch where I keep baby wipes and gorilla tape.

The advantage of this system is that the feces dries out surprisingly quickly, and once dried (takes a couple days?) it weighs almost nothing and doesn't smell. It was a good system even on the short grade V wall I did. Only caveat is a poop tube is more suitable for pitches with bad hauling. You can clip it in directly to the bottom of the haul bag instead of having it 20' down for bad hauling situations which is what I had to do on some pitches hauling to the top on SFWC, but a route with even worse hauling than that one could have gotten very shitty very fast. 

The immediate concern everyone has is wondering if those paper bags are strong enough, but surprisingly they're actually way stronger than is necessary, never heard of any leakage using them. 

Considering that everyone talks about the other systems smelling bad anyway, the fact that the fresh shits smell a little doesn't seem like much of a down side to me. It's a really great innovation. Not appropriate for every wall perhaps, but I would encourage people to try it. 

Ricky Harlinewrote:

The immediate concern everyone has is wondering if those paper bags are strong enough, but surprisingly they're actually way stronger than is necessary, never heard of any leakage using them.

Hmmm. No one has ever seen my semi-liquid wall shits.