PSA: You did not get an FA!

Hey y'all, I've noticed this a few times in the New River Gorge routes DB, but I'd imagine it's pretty common every where, so I'll just say it.

If you're climbing a new-to-you linkup or variation on an established boulder that is v9 or under, just go ahead and assume that it's NOT an FA. 

In this day and age of super strong, hyped up boulderers, it's super naive and egotistical for you to think that you've blazed some sort of visionary path by doing one v6 move between a couple classic moderates at a boulder that gets a dozen visits every weekend. I've got one strong friend who, as soon as he's ticked off all the moderates at a given boulder, starts looking for the hardest possible sequences all over that boulder and sends them. Lots of other folks do this, too, and they don't report or claim FA's because they really don't care, and they realize that reporting "FA's" of this sort is just silly.

If you want FA credit, you've got two options:

1. Locate, scope out, clean, and climb a brand new boulder (or, better yet, a new area) that nobody in the local climbing community has heard of.

2. Send a prominent line that has been challenging and repelling a lot of good boulderers for a while.

But for gawd's sake, quit thinking that your end-of-sesh game of add-on just unearthed the next Iron Man Traverse or whatever.  Sheesh.

End of rant.

Just look at all the new "routes" in this database, its about 20 to 1 pebbles to actual climbs. Just yesterday some guy near me posted a 6' tall v0 FA. I think the gym bros have some sort of penis measuring game with "finding" and "developing" pebbles. The most hilarious thing to me is when the gym bros require a written guide book for bouldering and wont go until they have one.

Totally agreed on the variation FA bs, its a bit over the top.

My main boulder area is along the Snake river here, used seasonally by indigenous peoples for millennia. I kinda enjoy the thought that bored 12 year olds were probably on those rocks 10,000 years ago, instead of doing whatever they were supposed to be doing when salmon were running. 

But? If it's a fun linkup, by all means, mention it in the comments for the problem that starts it! 

and letting the masses know about it

This is the part where they go off the rails.

Todd Berlier wrote:

devils advocate position: even tho i agree in principle that link up and eliminate "FAs" are kind of lame, why do you care so much? how does this affect you? seems like some psyched young guys are at least trying to find newish stuff and letting the masses know about it...

Agree with the sentiment, but it does get a bit old when the route list at your local crag gets swamped with a boatload of contrived V0 pebble crawls. 

Gotta get that dopamine fix brahs. 

It’s pretty legit if you use the eliminate you just added to the database as an opportunity to link the Instagram video of your send though.

Eye roll.

God bless you Daniel Woods of V1 bouldering. 

Lol. Bouldering is silly.

Todd Berlier wrote:

devils advocate position: even tho i agree in principle that link up and eliminate "FAs" are kind of lame, why do you care so much? how does this affect you? seems like some psyched young guys are at least trying to find newish stuff and letting the masses know about it...

Get on Strava and let me know what you learn...

Isaac Gromackiwrote:

Lol. Bouldering is silly.

Thank you for your stellar contribution to the bouldering forum.

Todd Berlier wrote:

haven't heard anything more than get off my lawn, yet... :)

Once you turn 30*, "get off my lawn" is a valid argument.

*30 is the new 50

Todd Berlier wrote:

colonel mustard made the best point (why delete it?) that people are adding a bunch of clutter to mp with their BS FAs. that makes sense.

I deleted it because I wanted somebody else to have the same sense of adventurous discovery.

I do, however, regret deleting my reference to this as the cubic zirconium age of FAs. That comment was sort of a gem.

Colonel Mustardwrote:

the cubic zirconium age of FAs. That comment was sort of a gem.

Also well played.

Adam Burch wrote:

Colonel Mustard is a known troll and probably another Tradiban account and I say let's elect him queen.

FAs! FAs! Everywhere!

Oh, look! I found one in my underwear

For every dusty 4 foot block, there is a puzzle I must unlock

V0, V1, V2, V3

It’s an all you can eat buffet for me

Now, before I forget, and while my quivering tip’s still wet

I’ll mark down this prodge for all to get 

Why there’s a world out there if under every stone you’ll look 

And now - to the name! something new, something kook!

Todd Berlier wrote:

OP is an admin. why not just not approve those additions? 

I usually do approve those submissions, although often while removing the erroneous FA info. I've been seeing a rise in this lately and felt it was worth bringing up. 

There's nothing wrong with having fun and trying different link-ups and variations; that's a huge part of the history of bouldering. But you should also know when a new sequence is significant enough to report, because usually it's not. 

Colonel Mustardwrote:

FAs! FAs! Everywhere!

Oh, look! I found one in my underwear

For every dusty 4 foot block, there is a puzzle I must unlock

V0, V1, V2, V3

It’s an all you can eat buffet for me

Now, before I forget, and while my quivering tip’s still wet

I’ll mark down this prodge for all to get 

Why there’s a world out there if under every stone you’ll look 

And now - to the name! something new, something kook!

Do you even FA bruh?

M Mwrote:

Do you even FA bruh?

Every time!

Pnelsonwrote:

I usually do approve those submissions, although often while removing the erroneous FA info. I've been seeing a rise in this lately and felt it was worth bringing up. 

There's nothing wrong with having fun and trying different link-ups and variations; that's a huge part of the history of bouldering. But you should also know when a new sequence is significant enough to report, because usually it's not. 

I feel ya...  I probably get about 60 FA reports of eliminates and link ups a week in California. Most of them in areas like Indian/Mortar Rock (Berkeley), Castle Rock, and Stony Point to name a few. Ya know, the kind of places that have been scoured by endless droves of the sports finest for the better part of a half century or more.

Which reminds me. A lot of times we (Admin) rely on user comments and suggestions to sort out the junk and misinformation. So please, comment if you see something wrong or unnecessary or suggest a page improvement if it’s something a little more in depth. 

Todd Berlier wrote:

Check out my sick new FA brahs!

the sickness

Its actually pretty fun. It was pretty ironic, since I was scrubbing moss on monday while commenting on this thread.

Pnelson I agree with everyone saying it's stupid to claim FAs on eliminants and post them here. I am super psyched for the guys and gals out there doing them. I am completely indifferent if they are posting them on IG or any other SM--that's not hurting anything (unless access is an issue of course). I am bummed if they take admin time--since y'all are doing this for free.   

Yea... I was just weighing in whether or not to delete that entry lol... I approved it ;-)

Colonel Mustardwrote:

FAs! FAs! Everywhere!

Oh, look! I found one in my underwear

For every dusty 4 foot block, there is a puzzle I must unlock

V0, V1, V2, V3

It’s an all you can eat buffet for me

Now, before I forget, and while my quivering tip’s still wet

I’ll mark down this prodge for all to get 

Why there’s a world out there if under every stone you’ll look 

And now - to the name! something new, something kook!

Bravo!