Concussion & Ribs Fractured--Psych Recovery Suggestions

I wanted to hear everyone's opinion that has been through a serious climbing accident; I'm sure I'll catch some troll comments, but oh well, it's the internet and expected.

Last Sunday (9/16/18) I was on my first Aid route outside (single pitch). Over the past year I really have enjoyed getting into trad and wanted to eventually progress to big wall so I figure the first step was to get dialed in on Aid. Been climbing for around 6 years outside and have never had anything remotely bad happen. However, on my first aid route I had three pieces pull. Fell around ~50 ft, fractured two ribs, had gnarly scrapes/bruising, and had a concussion (I was unconscious for 30 seconds & was wearing a helmet). Physically, whatever, it's pain and it will heal. But the psychological effect has been the biggest question, for me at least. It's pretty humbling and sobering to be knocked unconscious and to wake up not knowing WTF happened and then slowly piecing everything together. Since then, I have been getting grilled by family and everyone I know (the non climbers that is) about how I should quit and to think about family, career, etc. I admit; I got lucky and this fall could of been way worse as I hit a sloped ledge (thankfully spine is still solid). I get so much personally out of climbing but recognize now it might be a selfish thrill seeking endeavor. I don't know. I wanted to get climber's thoughts whom I do not know in hopes of receiving unbiased opinions or personal experiences. Thanks for reading and providing valuable input. Climb safe.

-Andrew

I took a 25 ft grounder after ripping the only piece that was high enough to keep me off the deck. I took a long break from hard trad and am just getting back to it. The most important thing to remember is that friends and family care about you but have no fucking clue how to assess the safety of your decisions and are just expressing their fear/uncertainty. Work your way up through G rated stuff to get comfortable with good gear in good rock again. I still don't trust my stuff as well as before - make sure your partners understand that you've been through this. Climbing is selfish but it also makes a lot of us into our best, least selfish selves, so I don't think that's too important.

 I think you need more details for constructive feedback- what route were you climbing, what was the aid grade and what pieces pulled? How did you fall? Did the piece you were standing in blow?

Steve Tarnowski wrote:  I think you need more details for constructive feedback- what route were you climbing, what was the aid grade and what pieces pulled? How did you fall? Did the piece you were standing in blow?

Was climbing a C2 route in the Wichitas, Oklahoma, pulled a .3 C4 (was standing on that), subsequently caused a yellow totem and a nut below it to blow (was caught by a bolt in the middle of the route). I fell while standing on the ladder. My partner is a very experienced accomplished climber, gave me a solid catch. Didn't ground, but fell about 50 ft. and hit a sloped ledge about 20 feet up from the base. I realize I made a mistake, probably got complacent/too confident, I don't know. At this point I recognize this, and just want to know suggestions from other people that have been through gnarly falls and how they responded. 

Thanks for the input Jon.

I've never had a fall like that but I have broken ribs, twice (surfing and skateboarding) and I've had a concussion (snowboarding). You are not even two weeks away from those injuries and still in pain from them. The concussion, especially, will have psychological impacts. Just give yourself the time and space to recover. Don't try to analyze too much. You'll know when you're ready. 

 I think you should stat belaying asap and ease your way into it.  I’m sure your climbing partners are cool as shit and would enjoy your company at the crag even if you weren’t on the sharp end of things.

Señor Arroz wrote:Don't try to analyze too much. You'll know when you're ready. 

I don't agree with this. He pulled three pieces and took a 50 footer that could have easily resulted in death. I say analyze the shit out of this incident and hopefully come out of it smarter, stronger, and safer as a result.

OP, good luck in your recovery (both mental and physical).  Hope you find a way to get back at it.

Took a 40 foot whipper on my first aid lead though not due to pieces pulling. I was following standard procedure of not clipping a piece until stepping into the next ladder and removing the prior ladder. When my top piece failed I was leaning back to clip the prior piece. My belayer not only had slack out and gave me a soft catch but also ran up the wall, sending me 40 feet, which was only 5 feet off the ground.

I had some minor scrapes and felt completely fine but was subconsciously rattled. I forced myself to lead a new multi-pitch trad lead the next day as a test and it scared the crap out of me, though pushing through the fear helped and I was back to normal within a few outings.

Andrew Smith wrote:

Was climbing a C2 route in the Wichitas, Oklahoma, pulled a .3 C4 (was standing on that), subsequently caused a yellow totem and a nut below it to blow (was caught by a bolt in the middle of the route). I fell while standing on the ladder. My partner is a very experienced accomplished climber, gave me a solid catch. Didn't ground, but fell about 50 ft. and hit a sloped ledge about 20 feet up from the base. I realize I made a mistake, probably got complacent/too confident, I don't know. At this point I recognize this, and just want to know suggestions from other people that have been through gnarly falls and how they responded. 

I thought Totems were 200% safer and more reliable than any other cam? 

You blew 3 pieces on your first aid lead, before getting caught by a bolt. I would say that you should dial back the difficulty of the aid you're attempting, but you probably shouldn't be blowing multiple pieces in a row on a C2.

You need to spend some quality time working on placement. If possible, top rope that same pitch and figure out what faulty reasoning made you think that 2 body-weight-only placements could take a fall, and why that final placement couldn't take even body weight (and why you thought it would).

Aid climbing is a psyche game, sure, but it's also engineering. If you don't shore up the engineering, then the psyche to go higher is built on lies about your own baseline competence. Get on something easier and try again.

Jason Kim wrote:

I don't agree with this. He pulled three pieces and took a 50 footer that could have easily resulted in death. I say analyze the shit out of this incident and hopefully come out of it smarter, stronger, and safer as a result.

OP, good luck in your recovery (both mental and physical).  Hope you find a way to get back at it.

Maybe it was unclear what I was saying he shouldn't overanalyze.  The title of the thread is "Psych recovery suggestions." Which I took to mean getting his head game back together for climbing after a severe injury. And I think that can wait until his concussion is gone and his ribs have mended a bit.

The question was not, "help me analyze why my gear ripped."

I agree he should figure out why his placements pulled. But that wasn't the advice he's seeking. 

I understand, Señor.  Of course, if he is in the active stages of recovering from a brain injury, the best advice is to rest and wait to deal with this stuff until after his noggin is better.

But getting one's head game back, I think, does involve figuring out why the gear ripped, and how he can reduce the likelihood of it happening in the future.  The psychological aspects of the recovery might be best achieved by understanding why this happened in the first place - and that appears to be a failure of the gear (placement).  I know that if I were in his shoes, I would probably want to return to the climb and investigate the placements on TR/rap.  I'd try and find a seasoned aid climber to go up there with me and weigh in.  

Everyone is different and some have the ability to dust themselves off and set off again, without giving it much thought.  I always wonder if those types are actually hiding behind a sort of willful ignorance/denial of the risks, though.  To be fair, the ability to do exactly that might be an asset in this sport.  I'm pretty certain the only way I'd be able to get my lead head back, would be to critically analyze the accident from every possible perspective.  

I decked a few years back from ~20' (gear in a horizontal ripped, completely my fault).  I ended up breaking 4 vertebrae and was knocked unconscious when my temple struck a spiked rock.  I was wearing a full foam helmet which likely saved my life.  I still have a 3-hour memory gap from that day, and my most vivid memory is waking up in a hospital and wondering why I had a catheter in my penis.

I believe you're asking about: 1) how to get back into climbing; 2) assuaging concerns with your loved ones; 3) other post-recovery advice.  Here's what I can offer:

1. Assess what you did wrong and take incremental steps back into climbing.  In my case, I had never pulled gear, so I reassessed what I knew about reasonable vs mediocre placements.  I've probably taken 150+ gear falls since the incident (including horizontal placements). I can say that my accident gave me a better understanding of the granularities amongst "body weight only" vs. "will hold a small fall" vs "9/10 would whip" type placements.  I had also fallen from an offwidth, so I doubled down on wide technique.
2. My mom and non-climbing friends insisted that I quit climbing.  My dad took a neutral approach: he expected me to continue climbing, but I should also recognize what it means to be a caregiver.  I now pay a premium on both life and long term disability insurance.  I know this isn't the ultimate panacea, but it acknowledges the financial burden of our actions.
3. I've become more prone to concussions after my TBI.  I'd recommend stopping and resting if a seemingly inconsequential impact results in slight dizziness.  You may find that a less-than-perfect fall while bouldering (that doesn't even involve head impact) will leave you disoriented.

Best of luck in the recovery process, and feel free to PM me if you have questions.

Wow, thank you everyone for sharing all your stories, experiences, and giving me advice. I really appreciate them all. Luckily, at this point, I am just recovering from broken ribs, everything else was normal on CT scan. Seems like many of you had worse than me. Psychologically, it just freaked me TF out being knocked unconscious and taking a 50 ft fall seeing my gear yank out. I realize I screwed up with placements, got complacent, and was probably too sure of myself. You just never think that gnarly fall will happen to you till it does. Anyway, it helps to talk about it and hear climber's rational opinions (I am definitely not going to get those in daily life). Thanks.

Mine was a 30 footer with an added 40 feet bouncing down ledges. Broke my pelvis in three places. Shattered my left heel. Lacerated my Spleen. Cuts, bruises, and abrasions all over. I was so beat up my mother didn't even recognize me. I was right back at it as soon as I was able. But how you should handle it might be quite different from me or others. Listen to your heart but make decisions with your head. Good luck to you. Oh, I also broke two ribs and punctured my lung once. It hurt almost as bad as the pelvis.

I still think that the core of his recovery should be technical. Yes, there are psychological questions to be addressed, but the thing that caused the accident, the thing that friends and family need assurance on, is whether or not Andrew has the mental discipline to survive this stupid game we play.
Aid climbing is, more than any other kind of climbing, a technical pursuit. And you made technical errors leading to a very bad fall. So shore up the technical bits and ask yourself if aid climbing is a thing you want to do.