What's tolerable banter versus harassment on the forum?

I feel I'm being trolled/harassed by a member.  I've reported both posts and the only official response was by an admin suggesting I need to stop reading the forum ("turn off your auto-reply", which I guess I'm not entirely sure what it means since I wasn't the problem member).

The posts:

https://www.mountainproject.com/forum/topic/113479063/a-new-stop-between-new-paltz-and-the-gunks#ForumMessage-113508517

https://www.mountainproject.com/forum/topic/113479063/a-new-stop-between-new-paltz-and-the-gunks#ForumMessage-113521091

This isn't the first time this member has singled out my posts for their special treatment.

Are there any admins that actually handle issues and enforce the rules?  To me this seems like a cut/dry case.

Kevin Heckeler wrote:

Are there any admins that actually handle issues and enforce the rules?  

I think phrasing it this way prevents it from having any chance of being an actual discussion.  

It would probably be most productive to approach the admin you have an issue with via PM to level-set understanding of what is a violative post and what is just standard adversarial internet back and forth.  I don't think the court of public opinion is the best approach.

I'm the admin that gets your requests, and while I don't find the exact language of those replies to be the most respectful, I think they are on the edge of what I would call reasonable discourse.

As is very often the case, forum messages are rarely as cut and dry as one person thinks, and we work hard to find the balance.  We get it wrong all the time of course: trying to decipher tone and the history of each thread is not easy.  Also, in some cases the community steps in and "polices itself".  When this happens, we'd much rather let the community tell some they're out of line (perhaps it's a learning opportunity) rather than remove content.

CD might be a right fucker, I don't know them.

But from those two posts, any mod taking action would be IMHO would be a case of overmoderation. That loses users, sometimes lots. True, we might lose you in this case; can't please everyone ;(

Are you serious? Do you SERIOUSLY want to limit free speech?? Are you feelings THAT sensitive? Come on man. You are telling me that your life is SO easy, and you have so FEW problems that this is the biggest issue in your life?? Yeah people can be mean on here and really attack your opinion but that is life. I read his comments...please. I have had a lot worse shit said to me on here.

Lets examine an example. Let's say there is a man who is low income, and is provding for a family of five. He works a hard labor job. This dude has some REAL problems in life - making ends meet for his family. Do you really think he cares if you call him a 'fag' or if you attack his opinion? NO. He doesn't care. He has actual problems that have nothing to do with his feelings.

I suggest you buckle up and challenge yourself so that you have some real problems.  Free speech is a right that we are blessed with.  By the way,  welcome to Mountain Project.

One more thing - we all have a nemesis/rival on MP.

Disagreeing with you isn't harassment.

City Dweller could have made those points a bit more nicely, but it's important to note that City Dweller was making actual points related to the discussion: 1) that you don't represent the 99% opinion you claimed, and 2) that it's callous to prioritize avoiding the minor annoyance of a stop over potential life-and-death accidents. You didn't respond to these points, but instead made the conversation about how those remarks made you feel. And since you reacted with an even more direct personal attack on City Dweller, it shouldn't surprise you that the argument devolved into even more personal attacks.

People disagreeing with me on the internet is the most valuable thing about the internet. It's how I learn when I'm wrong. I get that it's hard not to become emotionally invested in your beliefs. I'm definitely guilty of becoming defensive. I'm guilty of becoming defensive on this forum   . But as Bill Nye said, "Everyone you meet knows something you don't." That includes the trolls. I find that IF I can control my emotions and realize that people are saying mean things because they're also feeling emotions, I can often learn the most valuable things from the people who disagree with me with the most vitriol.

grog m aka Greg McKee wrote:

One more thing - we all have a nemesis/rival on MP.

Really Greg? Who's yours?

grog m aka Greg McKee wrote:

Are you serious? Do you SERIOUSLY want to limit free speech?? 

Free speech is a right that we are blessed with.  

Although I agree that the OP is making a mountain out of a molehill and needs to harden up a bit, you need to brush up on free speech and the law. The mods and owners of the forum have every right to limit what is said and posted on the site.

grog m aka Greg McKee wrote:

Are you serious? Do you SERIOUSLY want to limit free speech?? Are you feelings THAT sensitive? Come on man. You are telling me that your life is SO easy, and you have so FEW problems that this is the biggest issue in your life?? Yeah people can be mean on here and really attack your opinion but that is life. I read his comments...please. I have had a lot worse shit said to me on here.

Lets examine an example. Let's say there is a man who is low income, and is provding for a family of five. He works a hard labor job. This dude has some REAL problems in life - making ends meet for his family. Do you really think he cares if you call him a 'fag' or if you attack his opinion? NO. He doesn't care. He has actual problems that have nothing to do with his feelings.

I suggest you buckle up and challenge yourself so that you have some real problems.  Free speech is a right that we are blessed with.  By the way,  welcome to Mountain Project.

One more thing - we all have a nemesis/rival on MP.

+1 people take things way too personally.  I think a user recently left over this same issue and as was pointed out to him it's your opinion people dislike not you.  Chances are if you met someone outside of these threads you'd probably get along well.  Hell Grog has disagreed with me but when I reached out to him for beta on a climbing area he didn't hesitate to share (Thanks again).

. It's just opinions and having different ones is okay and everyone should be able to express those.  The issue I see most often goes like this:

Person A: "I think this"

Person B "[Quote]

You're an idiot"

Person A "[Quote]

you're an ass"

and on and on and on 

grog m aka Greg McKee wrote:

One more thing - we all have a nemesis/rival on MP

David Kerkeslager wrote:

Really Greg? Who's yours?

Forget about his... who's mine?

Andrew Krajnik wrote:

Forget about his... who's mine?

Mine left I need to find a new one any takers? 

This post is a joke right?

Dude. As far as fighting on the internet goes, CD's responses are a friggin' paragon of politeness and reason. You're complaining about THAT?!?!

BrokenChairs wrote:

Mine left I need to find a new one any takers? 

SHUT UP GUMBY. Do you even climb?!

...and so it begins.   

BrokenChairs wrote:

Mine left I need to find a new one any takers? 

Is this some obscure setting in the partner-finder forum? (Is there a box I can check to turn it into a nemesis-finder?)

climberish wrote:

Reported

All kidding aside, to the OP: the language was strong, but it didn't strike me as outright harassment, either. Right, wrong, or indifferent, those exchanges are far from the worst I've seen here, or on the internet in general.

Marcelo F wrote:

SHUT UP GUMBY. Do you even climb?!

...and so it begins.   

No I spend too much time on MP and drilling V-thread pipes at the crags.  But I have opinions for days so lets go!!!

Kevin Heckeler wrote:

I feel I'm being trolled/harassed by a member.  I've reported both posts and the only official response was by an admin suggesting I need to stop reading the forum ("turn off your auto-reply", which I guess I'm not entirely sure what it means since I wasn't the problem member).

Hahaha! If this is true, I need to buy that admin a beer!

Andrew Krajnik wrote:

Is this some obscure setting in the partner-finder forum? (Is there a box I can check to turn it into a nemesis-finder?)

Nick is just up thread you should reach out because this is the answer to all our problems here on MP. I lucked out though someone just volunteered.