How to make yellow snow

Over the past few weeks, I've had several experiences while out climbing (RMNP and Vail), by which I've found 'yellow snow' either within one foot of the trail, or RIGHT ON THE TRAIL!!! Geeze... come on, folks -- no one wants to see or smell your pee.

A couple simple thoughts on how to keep your pee from detracting from your fellow climber's experience:

• Please step 5-10' off the trail (even if it means you have to step into deeper snow).
• Please toss some fresh snow over the yellow. A kick or swipe of the boot usually handles this fine, and makes it much more aesthetic for your fellow climbers.

You'll know when it is me because I like to write my name... in cursive of course.

Also make a note not to invite these two to pee parties.

How do you guys feel about peeing in the pool?

I hear you, Avery. And if it's your dog doing the pissing, can you just kick a little snow on there? That would be fab. I must have kicked a dozen frozen turds off the Royal Peak trail in Frisco last Saturday and tried to bury more piss tunnels in the otherwise white, pristine snow. Some people have no sense of aesthetics. I think we should just take them all out back and shoot them. Afterwards, we will bury them in the snow leaving no annoying piss, blood, or turd stains.

John, I don't pee in the pool but have been known to pee in the sea. Dilution is the solution to pollution. Now if everyone mixed up their pee with a few cubic yards of snow, that might even be enough to make the snow fit to melt and drink. Might take some effort to pee in such a dispersed pattern.

John J. Glime wrote:You'll know when it is me because I like to write my name... in cursive of course.

John -- I hope you've gotten down the proper technique for the dotting of your "i"

OK Avery, now that we have some low level awareness, we need an ad campaign. So let's start on a catchy slogan.

"Kick some Snow on that Yellow!"

"Still see the pee? Shame on Thee!"

"Hide that Urine in the Firn!"

"Chicks Love not seeing your Piss in the Fucking Snow you Moron."

How about, "Always remember the Golden Shower, don't piss on the snow, piss on me."

Keep 'em coming, Tim...

I assume you'll make those into a catchy little jingle that climbers won't be able to get out of their head, no matter how hard they try.

When are we going to get the ability to play MP3's on this site, anyhow? Those jingles will be the key to success for the campaign.

Glime - I don't see that one spreading so fast.

So what does everyone think of "Piss Christ?"

Is it art, or what?

I think it's uselessly provocative and dull. Booooring.

Avery, we can easily get a YouTube video up with a song showing various hot women singing a jingle and scrunching up their noses while encountering the offensive act of which we speak. Everybody's a Star.

Or "Be like Aaron, piss in your Nalgene, It's better than Gatorade!"

John, your slogans don't rhyme. Please consult a local gansta rapper or get a rhyming dictionary

Goddammit.

Tim Stich wrote:Avery, we can easily get a YouTube video up with a song showing various hot women singing a jingle and scrunching up their noses while encountering the offensive act of which we speak. Everybody's a Star.

John can write the credits in the snow. Cursive.

Tim Stich wrote: with a song showing various hot women singing a jingle and scrunching up their noses while encountering the offensive act of which we speak.

How about hot women 15ft off the trail peeing... sort of like a "how to" video?

Tim Stich wrote:John, your slogans don't rhyme. Please consult a local gansta rapper or get a rhyming dictionary Goddammit.

Uh sorry, that was more like an advertisement...

John J. Glime wrote: Uh sorry, that was more like an advertisement...

You need to reference someone we all collectively know in your ads. I have no f*&%ing idea who that guy is. Now if you were talking about Ghandi and pee drinking, bada bing.

Capice?

Aaron Ralston duh... I thought he was a famous pee drinker who would agree with pee's virtue as opposed to the "never have it when you need it" gatorade.

John J. Glime wrote:Aaron Ralston duh... I thought he was a famous pee drinker who would agree with pee's virtue as opposed to the "never have it when you need it" gatorade.

That detail of his story is long forgotten. It falls along the wayside when you consider the salient point of his epic is that he cut the goddamn arm off. Piss concerns are moot. MOOT.

"The Huns would have stormed the castle if it had not been for the deep moot around it."

Confessional: I drank pee once, I was drunk and looking for more beer on a South Padre Island beach, that wasn't beer in the cup...

Sorry for the thread drift Avery. My bad.

John J. Glime wrote:Confessional: I drank pee once, I was drunk and looking for more beer on a South Padre Island beach, that wasn't beer in the cup...

Sniff before you Snarf.

Guys,

You sound bored, anyways to get more people involved ... let you wife/girlfriend write their name in the snow using your tool.

Kevin

We think like you.

via SuperTopo:

President Nixon once looked out on the Rose Garden in the winter and saw "Tricky Dick sucks" in yellow on the snow.

He summoned in the Secret Service and the FBI and ordered them to investigate.

The next day they both met him to give him the report. The Special Agent in Charge (FBI) told him that they had solved the case. They sent the urine to the lab for analysis and were able to state with certainty that the urine was Henry Kissinger's.

"That SOB!", fumed Nixon. "I am going to fire his ass."

At that point the secret service agent suggested that he might now want to be so hasty.

"Why?"

"According to our analysis, it is 99% certain that the hand-writing is Pat's."

A little something that I wrote last winter ...

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