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Semi-Professional Moron 

YDS: 5.10a French: 6a Ewbanks: 18 UIAA: VI+ ZA: 18 British: E1 5a

Type:  Trad, 2 pitches, 150'
Original:  YDS: 5.10a French: 6a Ewbanks: 18 UIAA: VI+ ZA: 18 British: E1 5a [details]
FA: FRA: Andy Hansen & Gina Matranga, 2/8/2012
Season: Spring, Fall, Winter
Page Views: 581
Submitted By: Andy Hansen on Feb 8, 2012

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Pitch 2 post crux.

RAIN AND WET ROCK The sandstone in Red Rocks is fragile and is very easily damaged when it is wet. MORE INFO >>>


When looking at the Kraft Crags (identified as the 100-125 foot, pink cliff band directly above the talus field near the Kraft Boulders) from the Kraft parking lot the route is up and to the left. The primary landmark is easily identified as the significantly lower angled sunken pillar of rock. This route climbs the right facing corner crack of that feature.

Approach: Go into the Kraft boulderfield and pass the Cube heading east. Once at the Warm Up Boulders go directly up hill (north) and through a talus field. Once the talus field ends a 4th class move brings you to a fairly level platform. Once on this platform head to the east about 100 feet.

Pitch 1: The first pitch begins in a right facing corner finger crack. Once up to a small roof, move right into the adjacent left facing corner crack. From here pull another bulge on a few good pockets. Now this is where you move into the obvious left facing corner. Move into the LF corner (crux) then up the wide crack to a good belay stance. 5.9

Pitch 2: The handcrack up through the wide crack over a bulge. The rock on the adjacent faces is a bit crusty- be careful what you step on and/or pull down on. Pull through the bulge and climb over easy 5th class terrain to one bolt (?) and a gear belay. 5.10-

Descent: Scramble up through some low 5th class terrain trending west (left) until you've almost reached the summit. A very large boulder appears at the top of a gully. Scramble down the gully following the path of least resistance. Some sections are exposed but none of the down climbing is very difficult. Once you've reached a gravelly flat spot, head east (left) back to the base of the route.

This most certainly had been done before our ascent.


Single rack to 5". Doubles from 1"-3"

Photos of Semi-Professional Moron Slideshow Add Photo
Rock Climbing Photo: Pitch 1 crux.
Pitch 1 crux.

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By Andy Hansen
From: Longmont, Colorado
Feb 8, 2012

I thought this was going to be a possible first ascent as the route doesn't appear in any guidebooks or online. However, when I finished the 2nd pitch I found a fairly new Metolius bolt next to a perfect crack for a gear belay. Obviously, the route has been climbed before but I must ask why a single bolt at the top of the route?

Also, some of the rock on the 2nd pitch is extremely flaky and could injure your belayer should you choose to pull down too hard. However, the crack provides decent rock to place pro in and jam.
By Cunning Linguist
Feb 8, 2012

Dude, all my FAs end at a single metolius hangered bolt!

Kidding. Trying to visualize where this thing is but no dice. Using the boulders as a reference just emphasizes how much terrain this area has. Is it near Shark Vegas? Classic Crack?

I'm thinking pics sound like a good plan. It's unlikely whoever put it up will claim it because of the bolt, but who knows. I think that area might actually be bolt-legal but trying to make sense of BLM policy is like arguing particle physics with a Jack Russel-better ways to spend your time are out there.
By Andy Hansen
From: Longmont, Colorado
Feb 8, 2012

It's very near Shark Vegas & High Roller. To the left of those routes about 50 yards and up about 100 feet. It's very easy to identify when you're actually looking at it. The bolt looks pretty new and my thoughts were to just add another one to make the route easy to rap instead of the 1 hour descent through 5th class terrain.
By Cunning Linguist
Feb 15, 2012

Let me know when you add that bolt, I'll go check this one out sans epic walkoff.

Edit: had a funny thought: how epic would it be to find out down the road that Harrison, Nordblom, or some other local living legend put in the one bolt belay and get the stinkeye from them for advocating "an unecessary extra bolt" on some internet page?

So does this thing start on the walkoff ledge for Shark Attack etc?
By Andy Hansen
From: Longmont, Colorado
Feb 16, 2012

I think I'll just fix a stopper and throw some webbing through it and the bolt to make a rap. You can definitely reach it from the walk-off ledge of High Roller, Shark Vegas, Shark Attack, etc. I might clean it up a bit too...
By Cunning Linguist
Feb 17, 2012

You, sir, are the Ralph Nader of Red Rock. What a pleasing moderate solution. Let me know if you need any dynamite for the cleaning-still got some left over from Christmas...

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