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reducing the naughty crotch bulge
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Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Aleks
climbing friend,

may you share your strategies most best for reducing unwanted harness-caused naughty crotch bulge?

do you wear the shorts or lightweight breathable pants and expose your belayer to your naughty bulging package as you lower, with garments drawn tight over crotch?

do you wear the jeans no matter how hot it is in order to utilize the stiffer jean material to dampen your naughty-harness-crotch-bulge effect?

is this also a problem for climber of female type?
Aleks Zebastian
From Boulder, CO
Joined Jul 3, 2014
162 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: me Tuolomne
proper utilization of the Metolius Wicking Belt Sander will keep that in check. David Lyons
From Forest Falls, CA
Joined Jun 14, 2006
136 points
Aug 10, 2016
Just embrace it!
I think it's something most just accept as unavoidable. As far as I can tell women pay no mind to our bulge. Most of the girls I climb with wear tights so no bulge for them. I'm sure if they wore baggier pants they would have a similar effect.
Brian Matusiewicz
From Bridgewater
Joined Dec 12, 2015
5 points
Aug 10, 2016
About 10 years ago at rnj south saw a father and son, both sporting 2 pairs of shorts. The outside pair had a slit to tie in and belay through. He probably wears the same shorts making love. highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion
From Colorado
Joined Oct 29, 2012
43 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Viking helmet cover, yep.
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend. Abram Herman
From Golden, CO
Joined May 23, 2009
42 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Darren sticking the second crux move Photo credit:...
Wish i had that problem Darren Mabe
From Flagstaff, AZ
Joined Dec 12, 2002
4,092 points
Aug 10, 2016
Abram Herman wrote:
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.

I don't have the need, but a friend had excellent results with sticking a pair of chalk socks filled with "Unicorn Dust". He insisted that only the Unicorn Dust makes multiple red points possible.
amarius
Joined Feb 23, 2012
23 points
Aug 10, 2016
Abram Herman wrote:
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.


When you change into your climbing shoes, after taking your socks off, instead of setting them aside, stuff them into your shorts.
David Gibbs
From Ottawa, ON
Joined Aug 18, 2010
10 points
Administrator
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: OMG!
Abram Herman wrote:
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.

I keep my nuts in my pants...
Muscrat
Joined Oct 27, 2011
3,553 points
Aug 10, 2016
Aleks Zebastian wrote:
climbing friend, may you share your strategies most best for reducing unwanted harness-caused naughty crotch bulge?

DuctTape.
Source: I grew up in San Francisco.
simplyput
Joined Nov 30, 2013
55 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Aleks
simplyput wrote:
DuctTape. Source: I grew up in San Francisco.


climbing friend,

ho ho!

ha ha!

sounds quite painful?

myah!
Aleks Zebastian
From Boulder, CO
Joined Jul 3, 2014
162 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Avatar
To avoid harness-caused crotch bulge - avoid harness altogether.

Alex Rogers
From Sydney, Australia
Joined Sep 9, 2010
39 points
Aug 10, 2016
If the bulge lasts for more than 4 hrs, call a doctor ( single pitch only) - scott fuzz
Joined Feb 22, 2014
128 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Belaying up two seconds on the fourth pitch of Aft...
As seen in Golf Digest, what is it with golfers. Christopher Gibson
From Frisco, Texas
Joined Feb 13, 2012
231 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Bottom of the bottle
Aleks.... you might wish to sport a "cod piece"....popular a few centuries back. Guy Keesee
From Moorpark, CA
Joined Mar 1, 2008
363 points
Aug 10, 2016
I suggest the prolonged application of ice. Shrinkage, ya know.

Rock Climbing Photo: Ice makes all swelling go away.
Ice makes all swelling go away.
Gunkiemike
Joined Jul 29, 2009
2,618 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Coffee after freezing our asses off near James Pea...
Aleks, have you ever heard that King Missle song Detachable Penis? Stich
From Colorado Springs, Colorado
Joined Jan 1, 2001
1,669 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Old Lady H
Nope. We do not look, never ever. Just ignore that stifled laughter and the tears running down our face. Means nothing.

Carry on.
Old lady H
From Boise, Idaho
Joined Aug 24, 2015
61 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: At the BRC
Stich wrote:
Aleks, have you ever heard that King Missle song Detachable Penis?


It's a classic song, even though it makes me feel like less of a man...

Mark E Dixon
From Sprezzatura, Someday
Joined Nov 29, 2007
517 points
Aug 10, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: A Photo
highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion wrote:
About 10 years ago at rnj south saw a father and son, both sporting 2 pairs of shorts. The outside pair had a slit to tie in and belay through. He probably wears the same shorts making love.


Haha! Seriously laughed for a good minute after this mental picture.
psakievich
From Tempe, AZ
Joined Aug 7, 2014
117 points
Aug 11, 2016
psakievich wrote:
Haha! Seriously laughed for a good minute after this mental picture.


That could very well be a religious thing. I went out with a group of some unknown-to-me fundamental/orthodox sect, and the women all had dresses over the harnesses. Black biker shorts underneath.
Gunkiemike
Joined Jul 29, 2009
2,618 points
Aug 11, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: yukon
Gunkiemike wrote:
That could very well be a religious thing. I went out with a group of some unknown-to-me fundamental/orthodox sect, and the women all had dresses over the harnesses. Black biker shorts underneath.


Yeah apostolic pentecostal women have to wear skirts so that makes sense. It's pretty common for them to wear shorts under their skirts. I've never heard of a religion that forces men to wear 2 pairs of shorts. Maybe that father and son were just so hung that they didn't want to make all the other men at the crag feel bad about themselves. :)
Seth Jones
Joined Feb 17, 2015
39 points
Aug 11, 2016
Rock Climbing Photo: Me eating a cliff bar walking back from Frankenste...
Gunkiemike wrote:
I suggest the prolonged application of ice. Shrinkage, ya know.



I think you look sexy in that pic Mike.

Right down to your O face!
Bill Kirby
From Baltimore Maryland
Joined Jul 21, 2012
439 points
Aug 11, 2016
J Marsella wrote:
Look ma, no bulge This is essentially the duct tape technique sans adhesive.


Also known as the 'ancient swami nut strangler' rig.
TBlom
Joined Jun 29, 2004
426 points
Aug 11, 2016
Well, fun is OVER!
Mammut Realization line of pants/shorts seem to fit the bill!
amarius
Joined Feb 23, 2012
23 points
Aug 11, 2016
Abram Herman wrote:
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.


Little Blue Pill.
Will S
From Joshua Tree
Joined Nov 15, 2006
1,377 points


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