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Beta & help getting girlfriend back requested
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Mar 11, 2016
People of The Mountain Project,

We need to talk. After trying to sort through some easy routes to warm up on, I decided to climb a route on the First Creek Slabs with my Special Lady Friend to get re-acquainted with the Red Rocks.

After getting a late start, getting a bit lost on the approach, and then dealing with some route-finding issues, we finally topped out the route. Problem is, it was getting dark.

The MP beta was very inconclusive, confusing, and generally useless due to the sheer volume of people spewing about the lack of necessity for rap anchors on the descent. Cool story, bro.

Unfortunately, we were unable to find the descent and wound up spending a cold, hungry, thirsty night. In case any of you were unaware, a hungry, cold, tired, and scared lady is hardly a lady at all. She left me.

Thanks, commentors with diarrhea of the fingers and lack of control of the "submit" button.

Is there a way to clean up the spew resembling the back of a BLM pit toilet (gents, you know what I'm talking about) of a comments section that is? Hopefully someone else thinking Hot Flash would be a great girlfriend route can be saved the ignoble right of passage of the hangry special lady friend bivy.

Also - any advice on getting her back?

Andre H.
From Boulder
Joined Nov 8, 2012
0 points
Mar 11, 2016
Troll. And I don't say that often. FrankPS
From Atascadero, CA
Joined Nov 19, 2009
15 points
Mar 11, 2016
She's already moved on to someone better. csproul
From Davis, CA
Joined Dec 3, 2009
25 points
Mar 11, 2016
Troll? I say legend. An 82 year old that loves the nose, naked edge and romantic warrior!!

If I still know how to post on a thread at 82 I'm winning! And this dude is leading 5.11 trad.

Andre can I have your picture so I can dream of being a super star?

Nicholas Aretz
From Lakewood, Colorado
Joined Feb 12, 2015
5 points
Mar 11, 2016
It's not often that administrators hear of Mountain Project being the cause of a breakup, but as a consolation if you send us a self addressed stamped envelope we will send you some free stickers. Consider your grief shared. Adam Stackhouse
Joined Jan 3, 2001
12,240 points
Mar 11, 2016

Did you have a headlamp?
clint helander
From anchorage, alaska
Joined Dec 3, 2007
438 points
Mar 11, 2016
You should check out my pages on this route over at

A competent party would have been off that route and back to chucky cheese for dinner by 5.
Joined Jan 9, 2012
385 points
Mar 11, 2016
If you woulda hired Wow Dilliams like you shoulda you'd been fine ...karma's a beeeotch ;) BigB
From Red Rock, NV
Joined Feb 18, 2015
0 points
Mar 11, 2016
Hilarious post, but for reals - Comments need to be votable, so that top comments can move to the top. Popular routes often have 30 comments that all say basically the exact same thing. So lets get the best one to the top and hide the others for when we're reallly bored. I know Nick has gotta be working on this. Paul Zander
From Tucson, AZ
Joined Oct 15, 2012
657 points
Mar 11, 2016
Probably too late for consoling her with but ... my partner and I found the descent quite adventuresome. I think we traversed too far and winded up (eventually) on the descent from climbs like Lotta Balls. Bill Lawry
From New Mexico
Joined Apr 16, 2006
1,394 points
Mar 11, 2016
Andre, its too late, you're hopeless. You missed an impromptu cuddle sesh and you let it rappel away just like that just to be left sobbing, cold, sober, and exhausted from reading. The only conceivable way to win her back would be to take her climbing on Joe Herbst's 1973 offwidth Beauty and tell her you named it after her. Then, just then, may she be smitten by your charm. Matt Kuehl
From Las Vegas
Joined Nov 29, 2010
1,300 points
Mar 11, 2016
Fault always lies in the same place, my fine babies: with him weak enough to lay blame. -- Cort r m
Joined Apr 29, 2015
0 points
Mar 12, 2016
Andre, you poor soul, what in the world made you think that a route named after symptoms of menopause would make a great girlfriend route? cassondra long
Joined Nov 26, 2008
90 points

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