a bad climbing partner experience

Love to hear her side.  Maybe it wouldn't be so focused on grades...

How does the saying go? 

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I forget the rest of it but I think it's goes something like this:

Fool me a third time and I complain about it on the Internet, I'm a total douche.  

She does not sound dangerous, at least to others.  Sounds like she had less experience and a style that didn't work for you.  Move on.

Eric Engberg wrote:

Love to hear her side.  Maybe it wouldn't be so focused on grades...

I'm sure you love hanging onto partners who always go over their heads and make you finish their routes. 

climbing friend,

these last 15 minutes of my life you have robbed them of me. extraordinarily long post. I struggles to keep reading and reading. those minute passing they are gone FOR EVVVV ARRRR!!!!!!!!! why do I read it like the sharp stick in my eyeball? I would not be knowing ...

Greg D wrote:

How does the saying go? 

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I forget the rest of it but I think it's goes something like this:

Fool me a third time and I complain about it on the Internet, I'm a total douche.  

She does not sound dangerous, at least to others.  Sounds like she had less experience and a style that didn't work for you.  Move on.

climbing friend,

Aleks Zebastian wrote:

climbing friend,

these last 15 minutes of my life you have robbed them of me. extraordinarily long post. I struggles to keep reading and reading. those minute passing they are gone FOR EVVVV ARRRR!!!!!!!!! why do I read it like the sharp stick in my eyeball? I would not be knowing ...

climbing friend, 

i am truly sorry for your loss.

FY wrote:

I'm sure you love hanging onto partners who always go over their heads and make you finish their routes. 

"Make" you finish their routes? This doesn't exactly match with your original post. 

Oops. 

OLH

Old lady H wrote:

"Make" you finish their routes? This doesn't exactly match with your original post. 

Oops. 

OLH

I'm sure you would let your partner leave their gear on a route you know you can do without too much effort. 

I guess you would.

Old lady H wrote:

"Make" you finish their routes? This doesn't exactly match with your original post. 

Oops. 

OLH

Do you also routinely try several routes in a day that are beyond your skill/mental level? Do you come off one route, leaving your gear half way up (in the case of the first route of the day, my quickdraws) and say you would go back to it after a rest, then say "I think the route is pretty easy but I just don't feel like trying again?" Then move onto another route of the same grade, refusing to perhaps consider a route that's actually within your ability? 

Maybe you would...

FY wrote:

I'm sure you would let your partner leave their gear on a route you know you can do without too much effort. 

I guess you would.

Original story, you chose to help her out. Good for you.

Delete that post, now, an opportunity for a crack at someone else's expense. 

No, my partner and I would understand beforehand that I am not a strong climber. If they can't grasp that, and deal with it reasonably, they need to simply move on without piling on in public and having a good time of it.

OLH

Anyone who takes a tomato sandwich, an avocado and some hummus to the crag is bound to get pieved if you spend enough time with them............ ;)

I have more but I'm exercising restraint...... 

marmotsg wrote:

Sounds like an experience and personality mismatch, as others have said.  You also sound like a raging douche, so I'm sure the personality thing isn't new to you.  Perhaps next time, listen to your gut on your first trip out and don't let there be a second?  Or just ignore all of that, keep climbing with a partner who sketches you out, then rage about it online afterwards.

I think I prefer the latter. I especially like being called a raging douche. 

John Barritt wrote:

Anyone who takes a tomato sandwich, an avocado and some hummus to the crag is bound to get pieved if you spend enough time with them............ ;)

I have more but I'm exercising restraint...... 

HEY! it was some loose cherry tomatoes! Come on, everyone knows they shouldn't pre-slice the tomato, or it would make the bread soggy...!

FY wrote:

I especially like being called a raging douche. 

Seems like in the future  you'll get plenty of these "compliments" that you like so much. 

Think about how 'M' might feel for a moment, then do the right thing and delete your post. 

FY wrote:

Do you also routinely try several routes in a day that are beyond your skill/mental level? Do you come off one route, leaving your gear half way up (in the case of the first route of the day, my quickdraws) and say you would go back to it after a rest, then say "I think the route is pretty easy but I just don't feel like trying again?" Then move onto another route of the same grade, refusing to perhaps consider a route that's actually within your ability? 

Maybe you would...

I just literally rolled up my sleeves, sir.

Yes. I try routes above my pitiful ability every single stinkin gdfing time I climb. You gotta prob with that?

No, I don't leave gear halfway up. I have had to "quit" just one bolt short of the anchors.

Wanna know how long I tried in that one?

About fifty falls. My belayer was so proud he bought me a new pair of shoes.

No, I have never claimed a single route was "too easy". Some days the approach trail defeats me.

A "route within my ability" is a route that I am belaying my partner on, while they work their heart out trying something way out of their pay grade.

Oh. Well now. There's the magic word.

Partner.

Best, sir, you're coming off a bit of a jerk, but....I am guessing you are not. Entirely.

Helen

Old lady H wrote:

Original story, you chose to help her out. Good for you.

Delete that post, now, an opportunity for a crack at someone else's expense. 

No, my partner and I would understand beforehand that I am not a strong climber. If they can't grasp that, and deal with it reasonably, they need to simply move on without piling on in public and having a good time of it.

OLH

But would you do that to your partner? Would you go up several routes of the same grade in a day, knowing you have a record of bailing from 100% of route of that grade? FWIW over 3 days I belayed her on 6 routes in the similar grade range - she was lowered off before the crux on all 6. And my attempts at suggesting a few routes one or two letter grades lower were met with stern rejection. 

Old lady H wrote:

I just literally rolled up my sleeves, sir.

Yes. I try routes above my pitiful ability every single stinkin gdfing time I climb. You gotta prob with that?

No, I don't leave gear halfway up. I have had to "quit" just one bolt short of the anchors.

Wanna know how long I tried in that one?

About fifty falls. My belayer was so proud he bought me a new pair of shoes.

No, I have never claimed a single route was "too easy". Some days the approach trail defeats me.

A "route within my ability" is a route that I am belaying my partner on, while they work their heart out trying something way out of their pay grade.

Oh. Well now. There's the magic word.

Partner.

Best, sir, you're coming off a bit of a jerk, but....I am guessing you are not. Entirely.

Helen

Helen, I never once complained that she took long, because I take long on routes at my limit too. Every time she came off a route before the anchor was by her request (with the exception of the last route of the day, because I knew i had to clean it and it was getting dark, and neither of us had a head lamp.) I would say I am quite a patient partner actually. I probably didn't come across as one here, but I did put up with the shenanigans for 3 days (I guess, hoping that things would improve but also I didn't find anyone else with a free Friday). 

FY wrote:

But would you do that to your partner? Would you go up several routes of the same grade in a day, knowing you have a record of bailing from 100% of route of that grade? FWIW over 3 days I belayed her on 6 routes in the similar grade range - she was lowered off before the crux on all 6. And my attempts at suggesting a few routes one or two letter grades lower were met with stern rejection. 

Alright, she did overstate, and over ..."try"?

I will grant you that. But, still, with new people who are better, this game can be very intimidating. You come off harshly, and she ended up in tears 

Do you care about the tears?

Helen

Mark E Dixon wrote:

Seems like in the future  you'll get plenty of these "compliments" that you like so much. 

Think about how 'M' might feel for a moment, then do the right thing and delete your post. 

Don't mind it - internet has always been a minefield. I did get a few constructive comments too. 

FY wrote:

Helen, I never once complained that she took long, because I take long on routes at my limit too. Every time she came off a route before the anchor was by her request (with the exception of the last route of the day, because I knew i had to clean it and it was getting dark, and neither of us had a head lamp.) I would say I am quite a patient partner actually. I probably didn't come across as one here, but I did put up with the shenanigans for 3 days (I guess, hoping that things would improve but also I didn't find anyone else with a free Friday). 

Ha! 

See, my short arms can't even keep up with your typing.

You are not coming across as patient, you are coming across as having a good time with the boys (sorry guys, don't get all fired up) being rude in the back of the school bus. In seventh grade.

I truly do not think this is so. 

But if you claim to prefer to be declared a douchebag, have at it.

Come through Boise and need a catch sometime? 

You sure as shit better do better than this.

You buy the coffee, too.

Best, Helen

Edit to add: hey, I'll bring the stick clip. Problem solved!