Funny Climbing Gym Stories?

Long Ranger wrote: In direct to my heart the diss courses straight and true I, a gym climber am humiliated in the thread of humiliating stories of gym climbing

*snaps fingers zestily*

Josh Triplett wrote:I climb at The Front (SLC) and it is cold as hell right now, but in the OG bouldering area the radiant heaters are overpowering. When I'm working 4x4s or trying hard I am totally guilty of removing my shirt, but I try not to be a dick about it and still talk beta with lower level climbers and socialize with everyone. I feel like if you're really being a meat head you deserve to be embarrassed, but if the conditions are uncomfortable it makes climbing less enjoyable. If I'm trying to climb v8/9+ and sweating just sitting in my chair, that blows. I find cursing loudly or yelling continuously on v1's much more annoying. Anyway that is just be justifying myself, loving this thread everyone. Keep it coming.

climbing friend,

let us be honest, there is only single reason for removing shirt while in the meat cave, and that is for impressing the others, they look upon your muscles meat and your bodyfat content, and seeing who would look on your flash attempt. also it is long established the only reason the peoples are climbing is to compare themselves to others for boosting the ego of your own self.

n00b wrote: Do as you wish; it's a free country. Just understand that no matter your reason, lots of people in the gym are judging you to be a douche. It's just like the slobs shopping at Wal-Mart in their pajamas. I'm sure they had a reason, but we're still judging.

I have a dream that one day I will be judged not by the clothes I wear but by the content of my character...

Why do you feel the need to judge others on such silly merits? To make yourself feel superior? There's too much hate and negativity in this world and this is part of it.

I worked at my school's climbing wall in college, and part of that job was helping teach the Rock Climbing class. At the end of the last indoor climbing/skills day before we took the class outdoors we were finishing the day with some climbing games. After the typical add-on and other games, one kid asks one of the instructors to race up the ~35 foot wall. The instructor agrees, but with the stipulation that it's going to be a race/deathmatch, where the climbers can push each other off, etc. They tie into adjacent ropes on the overhanging middle section of the wall and go for it. The kid didn't have any real climbing experience, but he was definitely very fit and well-coordinated in a gymnastic sort of way, so he was keeping up with the instructor pretty well. He gives the instructor a push and just about gets him off the wall, but the instructor manages to hold onto a jug. He gets back on quickly and gives the kid (who's now just barely ahead of the instructor) a push that sends him swinging off the wall. It takes the kid a second to get back on the wall, but by this point the instructor is too far ahead for the kid to have any hope of beating him or even getting close enough to push him. So the kid sets himself on a couple jugs and launches himself into this huge all-points-off dyno and grabs onto the instructor's ankle. I guess the kid grabbed onto the instructor's ankle close enough to his deadpoint that the only the instructor's leg (with the kid on it) came off the wall, but now they're maybe 25-30 feet up the wall, with the kid dangling off the instructor's ankle while the instructor, barely holding onto some big holds, tries to shake him off. He can't quite get him off so the kid starts climbing up the instructor's leg hand over hand and gets about to his knee before he falls off for good this time. The instructor made it to the top and won, but the kid made him work for it and it was hilarious to watch.

eli poss wrote: I have a dream that one day I will be judged not by the clothes I wear but by the content of my character...

That's a nice dream.

Eli Poss: #1 cause of belay failure: female climbers in yoga pants
and yes i have been guilty of this on 1 or 2 occasions

I'll just leave this here.

bkozak wrote:For everyone who read RMS' story about him rope soloing, I'm pretty sure that was me who came up to him talking to him about his bowlines... If this is the person I'm thinking of, he's affectionately known as "Deadly Bowline Dude" on John Gregory's blog Dumb Anchors. Here is a picture Mr. Gregory got of his bowlines (google "dumb anchors deadly bowline dude" for many more entries on his blog) Here is what a textbook bowline for top-roping should look like As you can see, there is a big difference between the two.

FWIW, in the picture you show, the bowline looks to be tied correctly. The difference is you're seeing the back side of the knot, vs your "animated knots" picture showing the front side.

The mistake, of course, would be not backing it up.

Em Cos wrote: That's a nice dream. Eli Poss: #1 cause of belay failure: female climbers in yoga pants and yes i have been guilty of this on 1 or 2 occasions I'll just leave this here.

I'm flattered you remember a comment I made years ago. However, you're taking it out of context; that was merely a joke, probably in poor taste. FWIW I'm not a believer in slut shaming and I think people should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want.

In reality, I choose to wear sweatpants and pajama pants daily for several reasons:

1 They tend to fit me better than other forms of pants
2 They are more comfortable, less itchy, and less restrictive
3 In my experience, they are warmer than other forms of pants
4 They are cheaper than other forms of pants, especially clothes from the outdoor industry ie patagonia, prana, etc.
5 In some cases they are more durable than other forms of pants
6 They are easier to sew back together when they eventually develop holes

It would be nice if people didn't judge me for wearing clothes that, for me, are superior.

A joke that, as I recall, you defended pretty steadfastly... but whether your point of view has evolved or whether you just weren't able to express yourself very clearly at the time, either way I'm glad to hear it.

And yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly, it would be nice to live in a world where no one is judged for what they wear.

bkozak wrote:For everyone who read RMS' story about him rope soloing, I'm pretty sure that was me who came up to him talking to him about his bowlines, because that story sounds EXACTLY like an incident I had with someone rope-soloing at Carderock a while ago. If this is the person I'm thinking of, he's affectionately known as "Deadly Bowline Dude" on John Gregory's blog Dumb Anchors. Here is a picture Mr. Gregory got of his bowlines (google "dumb anchors deadly bowline dude" for many more entries on his blog) Here is what a textbook bowline for top-roping should look like As you can see, there is a big difference between the two, which I pointed out because I was concerned about the safety of his setup. Also, I did not learn to climb in a gym, I learned at Great Falls in a 6 week class taught by an AMGA certified climbing guide. I just happened to have my belay cord on my harness because it was girth hitched on a gear loop so I don't forget it, because I also climb in a gym, as does most everyone.

Why am I not surprised John Gregory has a blog criticizing peoples' top rope anchors at Carderock? I used to climb with a group of old hard men back in my DC days and they used to refer to Carderock as "John Gregory's pond". I remember once he made a big stink on the PATC-MS group about vandalism at Carderock when all it was was rock scratches made by a bored kid.

Was at Movement Boulder a month or so ago, and there were two guys taking turns aiding up an overhanging line of bolts. I mean, 4 aid ladders each, fifi hooks, the works. It was actually really fun to watch, because aiding is something I'd like to get familiar with, but don't really have a resource for.

eli poss wrote: ... In reality, I choose to wear sweatpants and pajama pants daily for several reasons: ...

climbing friend,

i may safely assume based on this that you do not possess the employment?

GregMiller wrote:Was at Movement Boulder a month or so ago, and there were two guys taking turns aiding up an overhanging line of bolts. I mean, 4 aid ladders each, fifi hooks, the works. It was actually really fun to watch, because aiding is something I'd like to get familiar with, but don't really have a resource for.

There's a huge boulder in Yosemite Valley with bolt ladders on it, for practice. Right across the street from housekeeping camp.

Aleks Zebastian wrote: climbing friend, i may safely assume based on this that you do not possess the employment?

I'm a full time student and during the summer I have to wear khaki shorts. It would be nice if people didn't judge, because then my employer wouldn't have a dress code.

funny story from the gym. Its about 5 miles from my cabin. havent climbed there in 10 years... climb about 80 days a year outdoors...

n00b wrote: Do as you wish; it's a free country. Just understand that no matter your reason, lots of people in the gym are judging you to be a douche. It's just like the slobs shopping at Wal-Mart in their pajamas. I'm sure they had a reason, but we're still judging.

Wow bro, just wow. Thanks for that, super cool of you. Proving what is wrong with gym and society in one comment. Way to go.

Yep, sadly enough, dense societies have a "time and place" for just about everything, and that includes amount of clothing. There are primitive tribes out there that wear absolutely nothing, besides some bizarre piercings in their faces, or gauging their bottom lips with discs. I love sport climbing without a shirt, and of course, DWS. I was bouldering with a couple dudes. One shirt came off, then another. I began to feel the vibes from the people around me (is this white boy crusher gonna strip his T also?) That was the first and only time I've gone topless in a gym. MAN! It felt great! I popped a cherry, felt naughty, and felt half naked and muscular! Fuck the haters! But, I really don't feel it's necessary to go topless in the gym. It just doesn't feel practical! There's no way to soak up the sun. But, I'm all for the war on farmer's tans! Sun's out, guns out!

Paul Hutton wrote:Yep, sadly enough, dense societies have a "time and place" for just about everything, and that includes amount of clothing. There are primitive tribes out there that wear absolutely nothing, besides some bizarre piercings in their faces, or gauging their bottom lips with discs. I love sport climbing without a shirt, and of course, DWS. I was bouldering with a couple dudes. One shirt came off, then another. I began to feel the vibes from the people around me (is this white boy crusher gonna strip his T also?) That was the first and only time I've gone topless in a gym. MAN! It felt great! I popped a cherry, felt naughty, and felt half naked and muscular! Fuck the haters! But, I really don't feel it's necessary to go topless in the gym. It just doesn't feel practical! There's no way to soak up the sun. But, I'm all for the war on farmer's tans! Sun's out, guns out!

Honestly I regret even bringing it up. I guess all the judgemental asshats have convinced me that when it comes to climbers we are just as small and petty as the rest. I do my best not to judge, for hell's sake I'm not perfect. Such adamant and vociferously voiced opinions and judgments make me doubt the community (at very least online). Perhaps I myself am overly sensitive on the topic of judgment, I feel this thread devolved quite rapidly.

Looks like I better pick up a tank top so I can avoid upsetting everyone's frail sensibilities.

If you're into climbing for every single awesome person that calls themselves a climber, yea, you're gonna be disappointed. No one can ever take away your passion. I've been in love with the feeling I get while being high up off the ground, ever since climbing trees as a kid. The people I meet are just a bonus, minus the ditzy urban chicks and dudes that talk loudly and generously. Without people, I'm still climbing with or without a rope.

Climb without a shirt if you want! A plus from keeping your clothes on is that you stay better hydrated. Learned that in a desert survival lesson.

Long Ranger wrote: In direct to my heart the diss courses straight and true I, a gym climber am humiliated in the thread of humiliating stories of gym climbing Anyways, that bit of obscure climbing term trivia is now cleared up for me. "What's so indirect about this?" was always the question I wondered to myself.

Great poem, made me laugh, and feel bad in light of your humbleness.

To anyone who is climbing shirtless, you might not be judged by the fact you're not wearing a shirt, but your body is there to be judged. Females tend to be hypercritical about other people's bodies.

Soooooo, now that this thread kinda took a downturn, let's get back to the funny stories.

I've seen a guy walk into the gym already racked up with a full set of cams, nuts, and hexes swaying his hips side to side to make as much noise as possible, just to put one foot up on a bench and talk for an hour to some girl. He kept fondling his gear while talking to her, I think to drive the conversation towards his gear.

Watching my friend who's semi new to climbing take over 10 minutes to get his harness on. Granted it was one of those ABC harnesses that are just webbing but still.

Older guy in his 50s who climbs like a beast but wears a full lycra suit and shakes on every move.

And me, the funniest story of them all, who thinks they can climb way better than they actually do!