Funny Climbing Gym Stories?

Is this "funny stories", or is this "mock/vent about people who have annoyed you"?

I was hoping for a light-hearted thread, it's mostly just mean.

I'm not convinced much very funny happens in the gym unless its at somebody's expense.

But I do remember a time long ago when my wife and I were climbing at the Boulder Rock Club. Before the annex, before they changed the double roof left of MaryBeth. Long ago.

It was a weekday and there were only two couples in the entire gym, ourselves and a dual world champion couple, true sport climbing world champions both of them. They did a route on the Tsunami Wall and for some reason left their rope hanging. It interfered with the next route we wanted to climb, so we chased them down and asked them to pull it. Still makes me smile to think of two total climbing nobodies, in an otherwise empty gym, asking not one, but two world champions, to "move along."

^^now that is funny AND wholesome!

Four muscular guys were bouldering, working a V3. Three of four were not really climbers but they were giving it a good go but failing. Not knowing they were working on the problem, a gal walked up to the problem, well more like hopped up as one foot was in a boot. She climbed up then down climbed the problem with absolute fineness using only one foot. They they shook their heads. That was funny. She did this on multiple V3s.

The coup de gras was on the next problem which a different guy had been working and also failing on. He had walked off for a minute and was just returning to the problem when this gal walked up and down it with ease. He saw this and it was just too much. He turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I about busted a gut on that one.

Oh regarding the lack of shirts - many gyms have a shirts required policy. Which I think is a good idea. Shirtless women are too damn distracting.

ChrisN wrote:I belayed a coworker at a local gym who would quite loudly yell 'take' whenever he thought he might fall - while top roping. I said 'dude, you're on top rope - there's no slack in the system' several times. He didn't stop.

I think yer both being nobs. If you are top roping someone there may not be much slack per say but there is stretch. Saying take means I am about to fall, take in the rope as tight as possible removing any slack and stretch and lock off the belay. The same goes when one is leading.

What your co-worker really should have been saying is watch me. Which means I may fall so watch me carefully.

I was climbing a lot at Movement Boulder back when Courtney Sanders hurt her ankle. It was cool and inspiring watching her lead hard routes on the overhanging grey wall. With a walking boot.

youtube.com/watch?v=REtTkCl…

Full disclosure, this happened to one of my climbing partners a couple years ago, not me, but still a great story. My friend was getting ready to take his lead belay test at a gym in Minneapolis. This gym has a specific route that you have to take the lead test on. At the time it was on the same line as a 5.13+ route, which had someone tying in to climb it, and a small crowd gathering. My buddy and the gym employee giving him the test walked over and it turned out people were watching because it was Alex Honnold in town for a demo or something earlier in the day. The gym employee had to ask Honnold to find another route so he could give a belay test... needless to say the spectators were not pleased.

Sometimes Courtney posts up on busy weeknights at the bottom of the stairs on the floor, just... stretching. Looking in the distance and stretching.

Sasha goes there now! It's sorta funny, she has a literal posse with her the whole time - I've never seen any of that group before at the gym, so I'm curious what that's all about... pay to train w/Sasha? Is there someone in charge of the BBQ in the posse like in old school hip hop music videos?! Does make me realize how much of an introvert I am. I wouldn't be able to deal with all those people hanging around me. I just want to do my stupid self-designed program of ridiculous training activities I suck at and sulk out.

The locking biner chalk bag mention wasn't supposed to be mean spirited. I've read Andy's trad book(s), and the idea of having a useful piece of accessory chord handy doubling as what's holding up your chalk bag seems sensible.

I take off my shirt most days when bouldering, but I'm just a skinny guy with a little too much baby fat right now, and a HAIRY back. I just sweat a lot, and pit stains aren't very attractive, even for someone like myself who has given up looking suave or being cool. I'm amazed I get up anything.

Movement currently has a series of V4s that seem very stout for their gym grade. A stronger climber than me exclaimed that they're, "like Flagstaff V4!" yesterday. I don't know about that, as I still had all my skin still firmly attached to my fingers after my session.

One of the V4's last four holds are slopers. It's just heart wrenching trying to climb up it, and falling again and again at the top moves. There was a group of I think Japanese climbers there yesterday. All were amazing. It was a treat to watch them work on the problems, with an almost dance-like style. Made me feel hairier and fatter. Considered adopting a different hobby altogether. Fishing? Ultimate Fighting? Accounting?

^What's up with the body hair? Does it create air drag like it does for swimmers in water?

^^Yup get out of the way, Honnald. Important belay test needs to be conducted.

aikibujin wrote:I think it's funny to walk into a popular Denver climbing gym in winter and see people belaying in their expedition-grade parka with enough down to make a subspecies of goose somewhere go extinct. It wouldn't be funny if the gym is actually cold, but noooooo, the staff keeps the heater on full blast so the only way I can send that V-intro on the vertical wall next to the cave is to take off my shirt and try really hard.

Wish Movement would turn the heaters, it's been flipping freezing most of downstairs the last few weeks. Even had the fans blowing in cold air from outside at one point... during a snowstorm.

mediocre wrote: Try PG in Portland. Its a bunch of shirtless dudes in skinny jeans. It's like there's no pride in the world anymore. I worked at a gym in Seattle for a while. It's not really a funny story, but one day a guy in his 40's or so dropped from the top hold of a bouldering problem. It was a planned fall so it wasn't awkward or anything, probably about 10 feet, but when he hit the pad a loud SNAP echoed through the building. The guy had an open Tib-Fib fracture. What was really strange to me is that I actually had to ask the couple other people bouldering to stop bouldering around this guy whose leg was split open lying in a pool of blood.

I saw the same thing at SBP in Seattle, but this dude snapped his arm at the elbow. Nobody even stopped to look at the guy,

I climb at The Front (SLC) and it is cold as hell right now, but in the OG bouldering area the radiant heaters are overpowering. When I'm working 4x4s or trying hard I am totally guilty of removing my shirt, but I try not to be a dick about it and still talk beta with lower level climbers and socialize with everyone. I feel like if you're really being a meat head you deserve to be embarrassed, but if the conditions are uncomfortable it makes climbing less enjoyable. If I'm trying to climb v8/9+ and sweating just sitting in my chair, that blows. I find cursing loudly or yelling continuously on v1's much more annoying.

Anyway that is just be justifying myself, loving this thread everyone. Keep it coming.

Em Cos wrote:Is this "funny stories", or is this "mock/vent about people who have annoyed you"? I was hoping for a light-hearted thread, it's mostly just mean.

Have to agree with Em that burning off people just because you don't like their looks, or what they are (not) wearing, and then bragging about it- well that is mean and kind of pathetic.

Not a funny story, but one I still remember.

A long time ago at the Spot, before they built the Dojo, there used to be some training equipment on the ground floor. Darren Flagg was still running his Animal Strength training. He had a pull-up bar with a rope hanging from it. One of his clients was paralyzed from the waist down.

So one day I see this guy wheel over to the pull-up bar, climb hand over hand up the rope and rip off a bunch of pull-ups. Still strapped into his wheelchair. Then lowers back down and casually wheels off.

He used to boulder too, campusing along. Had to quit since falling wasn't really safe without any control of his legs. Eventually moved away I think, no doubt still doing some pretty impressive stuff somewhere.

Also not a funny story, just a little shocking the stuff that can happen.

I was watching someone lead a route and fall up high. When they fell, their shoe got hooked on a draw. They got flipped upside down and smacked the wall. So there He was just hanging upside down from his shoe. He had to pull up on his leg to un-velcro the shoe and fall out of it. The draw hooked the actual shoe, by his heel, not by the loop used to help put the shoe on. That probably would've ripped off.

He was fine. Crazy shit. How likely is this to happen again??

Gary N wrote:The draw hooked the actual shoe, by his heel, not by the loop used to help put the shoe on. That probably would've ripped off. He was fine. Crazy shit. How likely is this to happen again??

I can own having something similar happen. I was leading a route and managed make a move in a way that caused a quickdraw/permadraw to slide inside of one of my gear loops and clip the gear loop. I didn't notice and when I went to make the next (somewhat dynamic) move I suddenly got the short rope of my life.

Got completely tossed off the route and ended up hanging sideways facing away from the wall from the gear loop because of slack in the lead system. I was so confused...so confused.

I've seen shoelaces get clipped into quick draws en passant more than once.

People have gotten hooked by the carabiner going into the ankle all the way through behind the Achilles tendon a few times. Apparently as horrible as it sounds/looks it's a pretty quick recovery.

Another crazy story. More than a decade ago, I was thinking about joining a gym that had a climbing wall. This was a regular gym, mainly for weights, machines, classes, etc., but they also had a 60 foot climbing wall.

I had a friend who was already a member, and I mentioned that I liked the idea of the climbing wall because I had just taken my first climbing class after a 20 year hiatus. Apparently, the prior weekend, the club had held a child's birthday party featuring their climbing wall. At some point, a child became unclipped at the top. By some miracle, the nose of the carabiner hooked the collar of her shirt. The girl was lowered to safety while scared to death, screaming at the top of her lungs.

I hear the club owner fully realized how close of a call it had been. He closed the club, called all of the employees over for a very serious talk, and then hopefully put them all through a training session.

Since the thread has taken a morose tone, this is not a funny climbing story either. At the gym I started climbing at, there used to be a bouldering cave tower in the middle of the gym. There was also a roof route that went to the middle of the gym. Someone on the roof fell, was a bit away from the last clip & with the slack, fell and hit the tower breaking their back (not sure how badly). This caused the gym to remove the bouldering tower and put a shorter, but awesome anvil in its place (can still top out and walk down the stairs). Not sure what happened to the guy.

a.blair wrote: I saw the same thing at SBP in Seattle, but this dude snapped his arm at the elbow. Nobody even stopped to look at the guy,

Was he making noise? If there was something funny about when I dislocated my elbow, it was the racket I was making. The people at the gym did come to my aid. One was a nurse and held my forearm against a pack as I waited for the ambulance. I giggle when I think back to what a diva I must have seemed like: my climbing partner offering, "I can drive you to the Emergency Room, there's nothing wrong with your legs," because indeed there was nothing wrong with my legs. Yet I refused to walk to the car.

I didn't move because not only is a complete elbow dislocation extremely painful, but I was in disbelief thinking I would lose my right arm, as my hand started to get pins and needles and numbness.

Insisting on an ambulance is not completely useless - while the elbow is dislocated, nerves, blood vessels, and tendons may be further damaged with motion. Second, the times I've been to the ER resulted in 4+ hour waits sitting in the waiting room, while an ambulance got me a bed immediately. Elbows need to be reduced immediately or more damage to the nerves, blood vessels, and joints (later arthritis) will be done. $2,000 for the ambulance is worth it for a better recovered arm.

ARonchetti wrote:My fiance and I are warming up in boulder cave at our local climbing gym. A bro struggles and upper body powers his way up a V1. My fiance, who was about half his size, then gets on the same problem and does it with perfect form. He's still breathing hard and she didn't even work getting up it. Suppressing the laugh when I saw the look on his face was difficult.

Way to be a superior human being.

^^+100

I'd like ARonchetti's fiancée to struggle up a V10 and have some half-her-size person (Ashima comes to mind) send it effortlessly, while her posse suppresses their laugh.
Showing up someone on a V1 doesn't seem like anything to gloat about. You don't know his situation, maybe he's coming back from an injury, or just started climbing. The look on his face may have been imagined in your self-satisfied state, and if not, it's more a compliment than a reason to look down/laugh at someone. I would definitely have a look of awe seeing little Ashima climb.