Geriatric Climbing Gear

My Old Man is turning 60 soon and I was hoping to get him a climbing related gag-gift. Does anybody have any ideas for geriatric related climbing gear? He's still a serious mountaineer, though moving to Texas left him with more miles on his road bike than in his harness so he's a bit bottom-heavy. Any thoughts?

"Outfit" him from the hardware store, hank of yellow nylon rope, "carabineers", chalk, passive pro (nuts), etc., all useless for climbing, but then pack it in a really nice pack or rope bag.

Upgrade him from the swami belt to a Whillan's. After he figures out how to get into it, it will seem new and exciting. And, careful how you use the words 'old man' and 'geriatric' for only 60.

I would put together a "first aid kit", with some Goody Powders, Advil, melatonin and benadryl for those bivys. Maybe some Metamucil.

Buy your "old man" an excellent bottle of single malt scotch in observance of his exceptional patience in rearing you..,

How about an adult diaper that's rated as a harness too? Or at least buy some adult depends and rig it to look like a harness or something. He oughta get a kick outa that

SwabianAmi wrote:How about an adult diaper that's rated as a harness too? Or at least buy some adult depends and rig it to look like a harness or something. He oughta get a kick outa that

Forget the gift and get out climbing anywhere. After a certain point gifts and money are irrelevant. Time is the sacred item. Once spent, you never get it back.

Thanks guys, there are some good ideas in here. And I feel I should make it clear that this is definitely a joke...he still kicks my ass at most things climbing.

Ok, dumb question. Where do you find that popup crapper? I have a wife and two preteen daughters who don't like hiking an hour into the bush without "options".

Johnny Kipp wrote:Ok, dumb question. Where do you find that popup crapper? I have a wife and two preteen daughters who don't like hiking an hour into the bush without "options".

a package a tighty-whities and a bottle of white-out.
the diaper thing, but YOU wear it (the whole family).
get some screw-in dog anchors, line the sidewalk with them, use real gear and clip in...make him follow.

make a spoof collage of his climbing pics...have him climbing the bathroom walls and some stairs or something.