Dumb things other climbers have said

Ben Brotelho wrote:"OFF RAPPEL!!!"

I say that too....

Just recently went to a well known outdoor gear shop here in SD. Ive been there before and loved the cordage selection so I decided to mosy on down there.
Upon entering, i noticed it wasnt the same people. Not even the same manager. I waited roughly 10 minites at the cordage counter before i was ever even noticed.

Anyways, I asked the girl who decided to finally lend me a hand for a 22' 7mm nylon cord and a 33' foot nylon cord.
She disappears into the back where the cords are kept on spools for cutting.
She comes back out,"what was it?" I politely repeated myself and back she went.
She returned, yet again. "What's 7mm? I'm new here."
Slighlty annoyed that the climbing attendant knows absolutely nothing about climbing gear, i pointed at the chart of labeled cords and said,"that one." ... off she went.
She finally returns with one cord. She hands it to me and asks,"does that look like 22 feet?"
-_-
"Well let me just hold it next to my foot long c*** and slowly measure the length."

I didnt say that. But it crossed my mind.

After just briefly messing with it i noticed she cut the ends with scissors and taped it like a shoe lace...

I ask for it to be re-cut with that little heat slicer thing thats laying next to the spools in the back and tell her that the length is fine. Off she goes-and back she comes. "We dont have any more for your second cord."

"Im not buying this first one. Im leaving."

The manager apologized on my way out.
whatever.

Off to REI, they had the same cord, but it wasnt nylon it was polyester.

This made me angry because at the oter place they told me it was nylon.

I called the other place and told them that they recently sold my girlfriend polyester cord a few days earlier (which they did) when she asked for nylon.

I asked," do you even know what your cords are made of?"

The manager answers,"kernmantle."
fml.

Scott McMahon wrote: Ummm...I yell this rather than have my partner start rapping on the line when I'm still on it. And this is my favorite ongoing thread!!

Ummm, your partner cannot rap if you are still weighting the rope no matter how hard he tries.

@Greg D:
He might mean he doesn't want two people hanging body weight on the anchor?

Idk, i just yell im off.

I personally dont understand why "onsight freesolo "is dumb.
You went somewhere youve never seen before and free solod it. Found the page later and ticked it. I might be missing somethin tho, idk.

Greg D wrote: Ummm, your partner cannot rap if you are still weighting the rope no matter how hard he tries.

Yes I'm aware of that once I'm on the ground. I yell up to him that I'm off the rope, my belay device is cleared and out of his way.

Sorry I didn't mean it so literal.

Ben Brotelho wrote:"OFF RAPPEL!!!"

I don't see how "off rappel" is dumb, it's good practice. I wanna know my partner's off for my own safety, i don't wanna be threading my rap device assuming he's off because the rope is untensioned, when maybe he's just paused on a ledge untangling the rope and suddenly he weights the rope, potentially breaking my fingers, causing me to drop my device, pulling me off my stance, etc.

ChaseLeoncini wrote:@Greg D: He might mean he doesn't want two people hanging body weight on the anchor? Idk, i just yell im off. I personally dont understand why "onsight freesolo "is dumb. You went somewhere youve never seen before and free solod it. Found the page later and ticked it. I might be missing somethin tho, idk.

Thanks for the third grade explanation.

Greg D wrote: Thanks for the third grade explanation.

@ Greg. Do you realize you are quoting dumb things people have said in the"dumb things other climbers have said" thread. Dork.

I thought i might dumb it down so that you would be able to understand it. Good job Gregory. Almost to fourth grade.
Today's word is: condescending. con•de•scend•ing. 4 syllables...
We'll focus more on that later. Now go back and eat your apple sauce, shit your pants and go to sleep.

Overheard from a pair of soloists next to and in reference my partner and I simul-climbing.

Girl: (obviously scared out of her skull): Why can't we use ropes? They are using ropes and they are going faster than we are?

Guy: Well if one of them falls they would both get pulled off its just not safe.

Girl: So you'd rather watch me fall?

Guy: Dead Silence

Christopher Sorensen wrote:Climbing at Tinker Toys in Rock Canyon, Utah, there's a guy . . . with this girl who says she's been rock climbing for a few years. He asks if she knows how to lead belay. "Of course," she replies nonchalantly. So, he starts leading the route. He gets to the first bolt, and tugs on the rope, which doesn't give at all. "Slack!" he yells. "Why?" she replies... He downclimbed pretty quick. Apparently, the girl had never lead belayed in her life. She tried to convince him to get back up and that she could figure it out, but I think they wound up top roping.

I may or may not have been this guy. If I wasn't it's a pretty good summary of my Rock Canyon climbing life.

One time I was on a camping trip with my Boy Scout troop, and there was a climbing wall there. So I clip in to the single figure 8 on a night with no tail and a carabiner, and I ask for a belay. First, the guy runnin the thing says "what's that?" Then one of our guys who really climbs puts me on belay off his harness as someone normally would. The guy turns around and starts yelling "you can't do that!!! That's dangerous!!!!! You need to belay off the anchor!!!" The "anchor" is a single bolt on the floor. The guy then says "I have belayed like this thousands of times, I know what I'm doing" the "climber" runnin the thing would not let me be belayed off the body. The belayer was in no way attached to the rope. It was the dumbest thing I have ever seen!!!

"let's go climb a twenty foot piece of shit ice pitch in the middle of an avy-prone field and try to kill myself and two other people, yeah!"

f'n idiots

Tyler Newcomb wrote: So I clip in to the single figure 8 on a night with no tail and a carabiner, and I ask for a belay.

Some buddies were high on an alpine route, late in the afternoon heat. Leader is out of view and run a lot of rope out. The belayer was kinda dozing off and heard a faint "take!" from above so frantically started pulling in slack. The yelling intensified so the belayer stopped to listen, this time a little more carefully. It turns out the leader had been yelling "For fucks sake!"

barnaclebob wrote:

This is what I was told to do I mean, that that I did it willingly by any means!!

barnaclebob wrote:

This is what I was told to do I mean, not that I did it willingly by any means!!

Tyler Newcomb wrote: This is what I was told to do I mean, not that I did it willingly by any means!!

Fair enough.

Wall was also nothing harder that 5.6 and mostly 15 feet, with 20 ft being the highest. I just found it hilarious and dumb that the guy thought the single bolt was better than belaying off the harness

"Oh that is so helpful, I have been down climbing for months".
A "climber" after my friend taught him how to clean a route.