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Looking for flammable footwear.

Phil Lauffen · · Innsbruck, AT · Joined Jun 2008 · Points: 3,098
this guyyyyy

Talk to this guy. He may let you borrow one of his IBMs. Though you should stick with sanuks because they probably are about the max payload mass. Also, 2000' might be pushing the max altitude.
Ryan Williams · · London (sort of) · Joined May 2009 · Points: 1,245

There is definitely a "funniest post" in this thread.

John, you should use hemp if this is a once or twice a season thing. Plenty of sandals made totally from hemp that you could use for ideas. If you're doing it every weekend though, hemp might be expensive.

H BL · · Colorado · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 95

Just wrap your feet in duct tape. You might then be able to slide your feet into your climbing shoes. A little sweaty maybe, but think of the ankle support.

Alex McIntyre · · Tucson, AZ · Joined Jan 2011 · Points: 546

I've done a few approaches (where you top out at your packs) with my feet taped with climbing tape. You can pull it off at the base, wad it up and burn it, or pull on climbing shoes over it. Works fairly well if that's all you are concerned about, and it has more traction than duct tape.

Ray Pinpillage · · West Egg · Joined Jul 2010 · Points: 180

Wrap your feet in weed and then smoke it right before the climb. You'll lead two grades higher.

Crossing · · Breinigsville, PA · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 1,621

If you handstand walk to the base of the climb the only approach gear you need will be some leather gloves (lightweight and packable).

Jeff Chrisler · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jun 2009 · Points: 145

i always enjoy using something once, and then burning it. it shows my true human nature.

suck it up, and carry the friggin weight. it might make you slightly stronger. talking about tarahumara, bring some minimal shoes like five fingers or something.

Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,520

Just an aside, I had to drive the Crysler van today. God, I hate Cryslers.

How's the tar baby working out, John?

Jeff Chrisler · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jun 2009 · Points: 145
johnL wrote:Jeff, shut up.
no, you! weaaaa.

other than telling you to suck it up, which you should, i also gave you good advice about minimal, light footwear.

you really think that making a shoe you can burn is a genius idea? it sounds like a lot of work for something you will burn.
Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,520

The genius of John's idea is that it's stoopider than anything anyone else has ever come up with. That takes Real Genius™. Taking this subject serious is dumb.

Fuck, adding a "z" to a word to make it funny sucks. I retract that shit.

Rob Selter · · running springs Ca · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 125

johnL is brilliant! Don't be so jealous.

Jack Ubaek · · tucson · Joined Apr 2011 · Points: 20

Jeff is upset bc he burns his rope and climbing shoes after routes with a walk off and feels like you ripped off his idea. Am I warm?

Will S · · Joshua Tree · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 1,061


Dirty Gri Gri, or is it GiGi? · · Vegas · Joined May 2005 · Points: 4,115


Good thing you trimmed your Bermuda toenails to cut down on weight.

Edit to add: Okay, so far it looks like a first grader's art project with the sloppy Elmer's glue, and dirty crayon, and all; Not going to be impressed until you can show your fellow MPers some stone knapping skillz as your feet catch fire. Think along the lines of a quality Cirque Du Soleil performance for the viewers, not a Circus- Circus clown.
BameR Bame · · golden, co · Joined Apr 2011 · Points: 90

My two cents- John your a lazy bastard...... they are fucking sandals for christ sake. Last time I checked my tevas were not made of lead. and if your bro/sis is wearing his/her La Sportiva Nepal EVO GTX mountaineering boots on the approach tell him/her/it to carry their own shoes.
Otherwise- walmart.com/ip/Op-Men-s-Spo…
They may be too heavy for you at 10 ounces..... Just food for thought.
If you are concerned about sandal weight- I would say skip the climb do some cross training and then go back once you can carry the extra 1/2# of weight. Otherwise maybe look into some other sports..... Like power walking... fit yourself into some spandex and get that vagina some exercise. No offense to those with vaginas.

Gigi +1 for toenail weight..... Obviously he needs to cut every yoctogram (1x 10^-24grams) worth of weight to be streamlined enough to get to the top. So with the toenails and sandals hes saving maybe .0000000007grams worth the weight.

Pine Sap · · Estes Park, CO · Joined Feb 2007 · Points: 7,190

Your prototype is beginning to look marketable. Once you get it down you could begin by making up a batch and selling them off your tailgate on the rim. That is until the tourists begin to report fires in the canyon bottom and the rangers become suspicious. Oh my gosh, policy review, interagency exchanges, environmental impact statement, public comment. 2 years hence, new trailhead signage:

Attention Rock Climbers

Fires Not Permitted In Canyon Bottom
All Descent Sandals Must Be Carried Out Or Constructed Of Biodegradable Materials And Buried At Least 6 Inches Below The Surface

Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,520

I would blur the Evolve and Crayola crayon logos in those pictures until you get some product placement money contracts in place. I know an agent you can contact, too.

Geir www.ToofastTopos.com · · Tucson/DMR · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 2,751
James Beissel wrote:Bunny slippers + stealth dot + trained falcon
Hahahahahahaha
Guy H. · · Fort Collins CO · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 8,318
johnL wrote: I could shove a carbon fiber dildo up my ass. It's really light and maybe even expensive, that doesn't necessarily mean I want it there though. Maybe it's a lifestyle thing, those of you who know me know I don't amass too much shit. I think I look at gear as a carbon fiber dildo, if I can get the job done with less of it up my ass, I think I'm happier.
Classic!
Jeff Chrisler · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jun 2009 · Points: 145

John,
I used to find you annoying. Now, I do not after that last post of pure awesomeness.

I know it means a lot to you.

Glad to hear you are searching for the lightest and most technological dildos while creating this footwear. Well done!

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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