Type: Sport, 100 ft (30 m)
FA: Equipped: Edward Yates/Jonathan Brandt, FA:Jonathan Brandt
Page Views: 1,336 total · 38/month
Shared By: jbrandt on May 8, 2021
Admins: Stonyman Killough, Luke Cornejo, saxfiend

You & This Route


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Description Suggest change

Sometime during the 2020/2021 climbing season a hold broke on Cobra Pimp. It wasn't a crux hold and it was questionable as to whether or not it affected the integrity, quality, or difficulty of the climb. Many climbers weighed in on whether or not to glue the hold back on. Knowing the route well, I was confident the route would still go...so I returned to the route, completed the new sequence, and walked away with the broken hold.

I didn’t do this because I was involved in the late stages of development of Cobra Pimp or because I got the FA. I did it because, if we're fighting the natural evolution of a climb, then why are we climbing outside in the first place? If the climber maintains or restores a route to their personal standard of quality and desired difficulty, then what more is that route than a gym climb? I can't say where all the lines should be drawn, but I can say that I climb outdoors to discover, experience, and explore natural movements - not man made ones. This is why I was adamant the “original” Cobra Pimp not be restored. A new, quality sequence existed, the route goes at a similar grade, and new challenges have been presented. 

At some point, many of us may be faced with a similar decision. The only guidance we have in making this decision is in asking ourselves “Why do I climb?” I climb because I love the movement and am addicted to the challenge. I climb indoors because there is near unlimited potential for creative, man-made movements to explore. I climb outdoors seeking the same thrill of movement but on natural stone, in a natural environment, with natural, discoverable, unique sequences. I like keeping these two separate because, if I didn’t, I may as well just save myself the gas.

In April 2021, I resent Cobra Pimp, dubbing the new version Cobra Prime - a cleaner, more quality product than what existed previously. This will almost certainly not be the last evolution of the route but it currently exists in a high quality state that is worthy enough to test some of the South's strongest. It is a true fitness, power, and technical masterpiece that demands everything from the climber - a true anomaly in the South and one of its best rock climbs. I believe the grade is more in the realm of 14a but can see how it’s so specific in size and style that it may feel harder for many others. These points may be generous, but be honest and you be the judge. The route is deserving of the attention. 

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The love child of Psychopath, The Pinch (7b soft), and Simply Read. Unlike any other in the South - this one has it all! Warning: Spoilers ahead!

Your standard this-is-a-cool-hold-but-how-is-it-still-here 5.11 climbing takes you to a nice diving board jug at around 50ft. Muster up the courage and launch straight into a couple of the hardest moves on the route. Strong fingers, knees, hidden heel hooks, and brute force brings you to a quick shake on a jug slot with bad feet. Say to yourself "Why am I resting? Wasn't I just resting? Oh yeah, that was hard. Now I'm pumped" Maybe this a cute little V6 or something.

Some 12- climbing takes you to a corner where you'll do some hocus pocus...or maybe its the hokey pokey...with your knees, biceps, and lots of tension. Clip some draws, or don't, and get rowdy for a big jump over the lip or use those abs o' steel to grab some bad holds and jump a little less. I vote go big cause your exposed silhouette will look real cool to all those chuffers oogling over at you from the second bolt of Magic Meat. Anyways, once you stick the jump you finish up what feels about like a long V6 (Rocklands V9). Maybe 13d to here?

If you've made it this far, a no hands is your reward. Did I mention knee pads? Oh yeah, wear one, or two, but definitely one on your right.

Now you can see it. Now you can smell it. Now you can taste it. Is it the sweet smell of victory or the stench o' tha punt? Don't punt. You're at a no hands for God's sake! Okay so it's a little core intensive but I've seen you at TBA (R.I.P.) with your knees behind the campus board doing crunches holding a medicine ball so you're fine. (Editor's note: It's been predicted that Andy Cutler will actually go no feet here. Wowzers. So strong) I digress...

Take a deep breath, get all zen, and transport yourself back to Rifle. Your beer is in the creek behind you, your belayer literally has one foot in the car already ready to drive to town to celebrate, Mirsky has lapped you for 5th time, and you've just been given beta on an unrelated route by a local. You're ready. If for some reason you're not, pretend the holds are black, yellow, and white.

Use the knee for a couple moves before gettin' all TBA strong and finishing the final boulder guarding the chains. There's another knee sprinkled in there alongside a final starfish exploding glory jump. You've done it. Your psyched. Now flex on that lineup for Little Tokyo clean my draws for me k thanks.

Location Suggest change

Look for perma-draws and chains that lead up to and out the steepest part of the roof.

Protection Suggest change

Quickdraws

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