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Routes in Cincinnati, OH

Fucksgiving T 5.3 3+ 10 III 9 VD 3a X
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Type: Trad, 75 ft
FA: Dustin Kisner
Page Views: 257 total · 14/month
Shared By: Dustin Kisner on Dec 3, 2016
Admins: Jason Halladay

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Description [Suggest Change]

Urban climbing best done drunk and at night. Cameron's apartment; ground to top balcony.

Location [Suggest Change]

Cameron's apartment. Behind the Euclid Square Apartments on Euclid and Daniels. Hop the fence and climb the balconies.

Protection [Suggest Change]



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Quite a tricky route. Short, but athleticism is required. I would recommend bringing a Valley Giant to protect the runout on the second floor. The other option is to Honnold it and give zero fucks. Dec 3, 2016
Ethan Heald  
Wow. This route means a lot to me because it was my first climb back since a bird watching accident took of both of my legs.

The approach wasn't too terrible, until a pack of wild dogs jumped me and stole all of my Knorr Rice Sides. Then they threatened to cut off my pinky toes and make sweet love to my sister. Joke's on them; I don't have a sister. The wall was beautiful, polished marble that poked its head high above the surrounding Aspen trees. And let me tell you this: the crag wasn't the only thing that was exposed that day. By the time I arrived, the sun was beating down with the intense heat of a forbidden lover, forcing me to preform the climb completely naked.

The route starts slabby, with an early crux right after the second bolt. In the midst of my struggle I remembered the words spoken to me by my father. He had been a raging alcoholic since the day he was born, and by the time he met my mother he had turned to hard drugs. When I was seven, my dad took me to the neighborhood park to play catch. Due to our pitiful financial situation, we couldn't afford baseball gloves, or even a ball. He mostly threw rocks. I was terrible at catch.

My mother had a much different story. She was the young, rebellious type, and was too beautiful for her own good. Her relationship with my father was unique; he was twice her age and didn't have half her spirit. You could imagine my suffering when I was told they had both died giving birth to me.

Once you reach the third bolt, it's pretty straight forward. Big jugs and deep footholds allow for an easy break. At this point temperatures had reached well over 100 degrees, and there was no escape from the sun's rays on the wall. Luckily, that morning I had filled my bathtub with SPF30 and submerged myself up to my eyes for 2 hours.

By the time the fourth bolt came, it was so hot that I turned to the lord for the answer. I bowed my head, brought my hands together, and said my prayers. When I open my eyes an ice cold Ale 8 TM was sitting on the ledge in front of me! It was getting dark, and with no time to spare, I grabbed the drink and continued my assent. The sweet, cool liquid quenched my thirst the second it touched my lips. Because I was holding the bottle, I had to finish the climb with one hand, but that was ok because I had run out of quick draws a while ago and I didn't even bring anybody to belay me.

4.9 / 5 Classic! Jan 14, 2017

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