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Whatever Happens...Happens (aka. Watermelon Wishes and 40oz dreams)

5.9, Trad, Sport, 110 ft (33 m),  Avg: 2.7 from 84 votes
FA: First retro bolted ascent: Todd Goss, Jerry Howard
Utah > Southwest Utah > Saint George > Prophesy Wall
Warning Access Issue: Do not camp on the land below and west of the crag. It is private property and is now posted. DetailsDrop down

Description

{Perin's great sport description} Climb large, varnished edges on mostly less-than-vertical terrain. Two short sections of vertical or slightly overhanging rock keep things interesting. The crux is between the penultimate and last bolts. After the last bolt bear right to the anchors above the roof/arch. Rappel off or continue up the second pitch of The Roofs of Jericho.

There is one perfect hand jam, and a couple of places for tight hands jams. Some of the holds are intricately shaped and look somewhat delicate.

Note that Rock Climbs of Southwest Utah lists this route as 90 feet long. However, when I reached the chains I was about two feet short of the half mark on a 70 meter rope, which would indicate about 110 feet (allowing for the knot). Note that the rappel line is well to the right of the route line and ends on higher ground than the start of the route. There appeared to be sufficient rope remaining in the 70 meter to indicate that a 60 meter rope would work also for the rappel. {end Perin's great description}

Sadly this route was bolted over after an all gear FA was made in 1996. The name the retrobolters gave it reflects their true ethics of the crag, which is sadly overbolted.
If you have a rack and want to climb it w/out clipping bolts (it's the exact same line) bring many small and medium sized cams along with the standard rack up to #4 camalot. Small nutz & slings were helpful as well.

I do remember the start being a bit spicey, with a slung chickenhead or 2 then we(Pete VanSlooten and I)climbed to and belayed from the same ledge as Roofs of Jericho, but used gear for the belay (bolts now grace this ledge). We then climbed up and left following a chimney finishing on low angle patinas/crack system. Walkoff around the back heading north then wrap around to the base of the wall (south).

Location

There is a light-colored, smoother-looking area right about the middle of Prophesy Wall. This route starts on the vertical bulge (not quite a pillar) that delimits the left side of the smoother-looking area. This is the second line of bolts to the left of the smoother area The first line ot bolts is the route Equanimity (which had its anchor about 60 feet up). The third line (to the left) is Ship of Fools, which has a 3-chain rap anchor about 60 feet up.

Protection

12 bolts, hangers-and-chain anchor. Note that Rock Climbs of Southwest Utah lists 11 bolts. The first bolt is low and kind of useless; like the rest of them...... perhaps it was added later.

Gear: Doubles on everything to #2 Camalot. Singles on #3 & #4 Camalot. A triple set up to #.75 Camalot is very nice. Full set of nuts w/ focus on smaller sizes, slings helpful.

Photos [Hide ALL Photos]

The rarely seen two-butt shot.
[Hide Photo] The rarely seen two-butt shot.
Mia on her first ever outdoor climb!
[Hide Photo] Mia on her first ever outdoor climb!
Gordon tops out on Whatever Happens... Happens.
[Hide Photo] Gordon tops out on Whatever Happens... Happens.
<em>Whatever Happens...Happens</em>
[Hide Photo] Whatever Happens...Happens
<em>Whatever Happens...Happens</em> on a cool October day.
[Hide Photo] Whatever Happens...Happens on a cool October day.

Comments [Hide ALL Comments]

Perin Blanchard
Orem, UT
 
[Hide Comment] Tyler, did you name it? Wanna be listed as the FA? I'd be happy to edit it. Or, if you like, I'll just assign the route to you and you can edit the description and other information as you see fit. Nov 7, 2007
Ryan Henderson
Denver, CO
  5.9
[Hide Comment] This route was excellent (on sport). Made the mistake of leading it last in my group. Therefore I had to clean the route on rappel. This was pretty tough. I recommend sending up a second-er behind ya to grab the gear. Good climb though! Maybe one day I'll try it on trad. Mar 26, 2013
Darren Dash Robinson
Cedar City, Utah
  5.8+
[Hide Comment] Seemed more like a 5.8 with a couple 5.9 cruxes, but nonetheless it was a great climb. Beware of lots of rope drag. Dec 23, 2013
[Hide Comment] warning about Location:
This route is the second line of bolts to the left of the smoother area of the wall (which has the route "Roofs of Jericho" just inside its left end) -- starts a bit down the hill (left below a small gnarly tree) from the bottom of "Jericho".

The first line ot bolts to left of the smooth area (and left of "Jericho") is the route Equanimity (which has its anchor about 60 feet up) -- often rated as 5.10c.

The third bolt line (to the left of "Whatever") is Ship of Fools, which has a 3-chain rap anchor about 60 feet up.

So if you mistakenly climb the first bolt line left of the smooth wall, you'll soon run into a sequence way harder than "Whatever". Nov 8, 2017
Andrew Brodhead
SLC
  5.9
[Hide Comment] Reading this description was like my latest visit to KFC. My sodium level rose with every paragraph read. Its a art to have the right amount of salt in your fried chicken, unfortunately I found this description to be overly salty and would like to send my order back. I hope the author has had a chance to clear things up with TG over the past 13 years...given his tone above, I doubt it. His blood pressure must be though the roof by now.

Save your energy and clip the bolts, you'll at least enjoy yourself somewhat. Jan 18, 2020
Tyler Phillips
Cottonwood Heights, UT
5.9
[Hide Comment] Yup, my attitude was salty. Still sort of is I reckon. But one thing hasn't changed. I still hate seeing history erased for convenience and arrogance. Happy New Year Andrew. Jan 23, 2020
Andrew Brodhead
SLC
  5.9
[Hide Comment] Gotta keep the history alive! Happy 2020 to you Tyler. Jan 24, 2020
misty murphy
St.George, UT
[Hide Comment] Hey Tyler. I am giving you credit and the name in our new book. Feb 8, 2020
Dylan Gene
Liberty Lake, WA
[Hide Comment] I belayed my brother from the top as he cleaned the route. Then we both rappelled on a single 60m rope to skiers left to land at the base of Soffit of Jericho. We had about 10 feet of rope left over. I would recommend doing the route this way. Apr 16, 2022