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Honey, I Shrunk the Hemmorrhoids

5.7, Trad, Sport,  Avg: 2.2 from 116 votes
FA: Deaun Schovajsa and Dave Gottenborg, circa 1993
Colorado > Golden > N Table Mountai… > Twelve Pack Wall
Access Issue: Rim Rock Trail Closure Details


This route follows a moderate slab to an airy arete higher on the route, clipping 4 bolts as you go. There are a few runouts that can be sewn up with small cams. The reachy moves at the start and the 3rd bolt will kept on your toes. Enjoy....


A few cams to 1", will protect the runouts before and after the first bolt.

Photos [Hide ALL Photos]

Replacing old bolts with new ones.
[Hide Photo] Replacing old bolts with new ones.
[Hide Photo] Topo.
At the anchors (which are beginning to show their age).
[Hide Photo] At the anchors (which are beginning to show their age).
Mike near the hardest part.
[Hide Photo] Mike near the hardest part.
This is the most runout section. That first bolt is about 15' feet up. In the middle I put a #0.75 Camalot, and then after that is the 2nd bolt, perhaps 15' feet up from bolt #1, but it's easy terrain.
[Hide Photo] This is the most runout section. That first bolt is about 15' feet up. In the middle I put a #0.75 Camalot, and then after that is the 2nd bolt, perhaps 15' feet up from bolt #1, but it's easy terr…
The route, shown by the rope.
[Hide Photo] The route, shown by the rope.

Comments [Hide ALL Comments]

Michael J Yarros
Colorado Springs, CO
[Hide Comment] My first route at Golden years ago. Nice route. Oct 6, 2004
Jonathan Hall
[Hide Comment] Hey this is a great route and very fun. Good beginner lead. Starts off low and then the angle increases as well as the bolts. All the holds are there and the bolting is well done as the pitch and angle go up. I recommend this route. It might even be a three star for the rating. Nov 19, 2004
Ryan Bibler
[Hide Comment] Runout (for N Table) but the climbing is easy between the bolts. Plus it's longer than most N Table routes, so it's probably a good beginner lead. May 1, 2006
Thomas Wells
Boulder, CO
  5.7 R
[Hide Comment] I thought the route was pretty run out. Also, there is a big loose (basketball sized) chunk of rock around the 3rd bolt, so watch out. Tried to mark it, but didn't work very well. May 24, 2006
[Hide Comment] FA was Deaun Schovajsa and Dave Gottenborg circa 1993. Nov 26, 2008
Lakewood, CO
  5.7 PG13
[Hide Comment] Still a loose block near the third bolt. Sep 1, 2009
Fred C.
Golden, CO
  5.7 PG13
[Hide Comment] Good lead route with a few nice rest points. I would suggest beginner leaders bring supplemental trad gear to place between runouts (definitely good spots for this), otherwise it could get real sketchy real fast. Apr 29, 2011
  5.7 R
[Hide Comment] Had my first lead climb on this for my fourth ever ascent. Pretty scary clipping [what I think was] the 4th bolt from around the corner (a little off route) 3 or 4 feet above the last bolt! Damn proud feeling of accomplishment. Banged out the 5.9 just to the left of this immediately after on top rope and seemed like a piece of cake with my confidence raging from leading this. Jul 21, 2011
Bear Creek, CO
[Hide Comment] Difficult opening moves for 5.7 leader with no protection. Basically, it's a couple of overhanging bouldering moves and somewhat insecure feet right before a bolt at 20 feet off the deck. Factor in ground-fall potential for second bolt clip (although after admittedly easier terrain) and ledge fall clipping the anchors, and this route is potentially dangerous for someone new to leading. I for one would welcome the addition to 3 bolts to this route, which would add a nice beginner lead to the area. Oct 10, 2011
[Hide Comment] Please don't retrobolt a nearly 20 year old climb. Toprope it or lead one of the other moderates in the area. It is also safe with supplemental gear. Not everything needs to be gym-ified. Oct 10, 2011
Highlands Ranch, CO
  5.7+ R
[Hide Comment] I led this years ago, just clipping the bolts. Today, since it was my first lead in years, I put some gear in, too, to calm my nerves.

This is a great route. Yes, it is a tiny bit run out by Table standards but barely. The biggest run-out is at the bottom on really easy climbing.

The start is the hardest part of the route, and the arĂȘte near the third bolt is the crux higher up. Good holds, a tiny bit balance-y at bolt three, but just commit and it's fine. Jan 10, 2013
Ben Burnett
[Hide Comment] Fun! Start to the right in a crack for added interest. Bring a few hand to finger-sized cams and skip most of the bolts - particularly that spinning coldshut! Jan 30, 2013
Katelin E
[Hide Comment] Bolts are far apart making it pretty freaky and dangerous for someone sport leading who is truly at a 5.7 ability. E.g. if you fall trying to clip into the second bolt, there is a real chance of a groundfall, and from the higher bolts, you risk a ledge fall. The first bolt is super tough and scary if not clipped in for a 5.7. Oct 11, 2017
Jay Eggleston
[Hide Comment] You can place gear between the first two bolts, but the start is difficult. Oct 11, 2017
Mark Roth
[Hide Comment] All of the bolts were replaced today with 1/2" stainless with climb tech hooks at the anchor.
Thanks to the ASCA for supplying the hardware. Mar 28, 2018
  5.9 R
[Hide Comment] Are you guys kidding? This is definitely NOT a good beginner lead. Groundfall potential from the second bolt (20+ft) and a total sandbag at 5.7. 4 days ago