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Routes in Bridalveil Area

Bridalveil Falls Left Side T WI2+
Bridalveil Falls Right Side T WI2+
Gorillas in the Schist T 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a WI3 M5 X
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Type: Trad, Mixed, Ice
FA: John Walker, Dawn Glanc - Nov. 7, 2000
Page Views: 1,401 total · 8/month
Shared By: john walker on Feb 3, 2004
Admins: Andrew Gram, Peter Gram, Greg Parker, Mike Madsen, Mark Rafferty

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First of all I must say do not do this route because you will probably die. If you do this route after reading this, I am not responsible. This is a very serious ie. foolish and down right stupid route to attempt. I lived through it but you probably will not. So be warned, you could die. Gorillas in the schist is located on the left (downstream) side of BVF. There is an obvious weakness that sometimes has ice beneath it. there is one left diagonal crack 2 meters in length in the middle of the route. the route ascends this crack and follows the obvious weakness above it. At this point if you decide to bail you will prove that you have good risk assessment skills and will live to climb another route. If you climb the final 30 feet to the top of the cliffband you will have completed the 2nd ascent of Gorillas in the Schist. This climb was followed by Dawn Glanc and witness by Mike Mcneil. A RC hardman bailed when the pro ran out, smart man. The final 30 feet is a slab with very few features, it is rated x. If you take a ride you will deck out and bleed to death before your lifeless body is dragged to the road.


gorillas in the schist requires one rack of friends, one set of stoppers, and trad aid gear including: 1 knifeblade, lost arrows, baby angles. The protection is good for the first 50 feet, above that there is no pro for 30 feet to the top of the cliffband. Above cliffband climb 30 feet to tree belay.


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Jeremy Monahan
Fort Fun, CO
Jeremy Monahan   Fort Fun, CO
This route sounds like more fun than a barrel of monkeys!! Mar 6, 2006
johnnie walker
  5.9 WI3 M5 X
johnnie walker  
  5.9 WI3 M5 X

I've considered bolting this line and adding a revolutionary grading system; the gorilla. Say the line has 7 bolts, if you clip all the bolts your a chimpanzee, clip 6 bolts your a monkey, 5 bolts an ape, 4 bolts and your donkey kong, 3 bolts and your a gorilla, 2 bolts makes you hominid with advanced functioning, 1 bolt equals silverback, complete this route without clipping any bolts and you can add king kong to your resume. Sep 21, 2006
Sounds like you have something against "sportdorks". What exactly is a sportdork? just curious. Jan 3, 2007
johnnie walker
  5.9 WI3 M5 X
johnnie walker  
  5.9 WI3 M5 X
Sorry about getting you guys so pissed. I do want to apologize to anyone who took offense; I had no idea any of you took any of this so seriously. I like to clip bolts and am grateful to most who put then in. Since april I've climbed over 120 pitches at red rocks, and clipped all the bolts I could. I free climbed el cap and clipped all the bolts; I climbed 50 pitches in the winds and clipped all the fixed pro I found. Mill and Indian creek; the same. I climbed a lot and clipped a lot of bolts; bolts are my friends. I've asked to be erased from this site, so this is my last post. If you read it; believe it. It's about climbing not the personalities. Have fun stay safe. Peace, love, paddle Jan 17, 2007
M. Morley
Sacramento, CA
M. Morley   Sacramento, CA  
Sorry to see you go, John. I, for one, found your comments to be entertaining and appreciated your levity. Don't let the sportdorks get you down. Jan 17, 2007
Greg Parker
Cardiff, CA
Greg Parker   Cardiff, CA  
Say it ain't so Johnnie. I also found your comments entertaining. We sportdorks can handle it. Jan 18, 2007
Be well Johnny, you'll be missed. If it means anything I removed my response.

You're right, it's about the climbing.

Miah Jan 20, 2007
Hello FOlks,
Hope all is well in the land of cold and no snow. I was just checking out the latest spray and thought I would spray some myself. Miah, Hows it going. I saw your post on Legend of T and found it amuzing. I think the only thing you get style points for is your old trick, you rememeber I am sure, when you used to put your whole package between your legs and bend over to show people your ugly %$#^&^% turkey. Now that was funny. Mike, I saw a pic of your new tatoo, and thought maybe you should get another , maybe a drill bit on your P&^!$. YO John, Whats up. Graig, how you doin, sounds like your keeping up to date on whats going on. As for your remarks about Andy Rather, I would just like to say just because someone climbs 5.14 somewhere doesnt mean he/she can climb really hard everywhere everytime. Look @ Blake, he can climb 5.13 sometimes in the Canyon and only the canyon, He told me once that Durrance at the tower shut him down and its only 5.6. Well anyway just wanted to drop a line and say hello to yall. Take care
Oh yeah, If ever anyone wants to come down and climb more than 80 ft of limestone, just drop me a line.
Brown eye high, out Jan 20, 2007
Greg Parker
Cardiff, CA
Greg Parker   Cardiff, CA  
Yes, I like to keep up to date with good old SD. And yes I'm a geek for doing so, if that's what you were implying. I accept that. You're absolutely right about Andy. However, I would argue that someone who sportclimbs 14c/d and boulders V13 SHOULD be able to climb a 12d/13a sportroute almost anywhere. That would be about the same as me or you getting shut down on an 11b after trying it repeatedly (comparing it to Blake on the Tower is a little different).
By the way, I like the idea of the drill bit tattoo... Jan 20, 2007
Hey there Mr. Love,

I'm not making it to El Potrero this winter of that I'm certain. I've been looking at El Gigante though. If your driving through the Southwest stop in and say hey. We'll go do a tower in Sedona, maybe sight a wild turkey. We're living in Flagstaff now. Amazing adventure climbing all over, your kind of place for sure.

Miah Jan 20, 2007
johnnie walker
  5.9 WI3 M5 X
johnnie walker  
  5.9 WI3 M5 X
after a long hiatus from this site I'm back. I've watched the Spearfish Canyon bosch wielding bolters for bolting shorto sporto routes get old and flabby sitting at law school, wearing funny hats and yelling at kids for money, ect. The most determined of you black hillers is the one called brent, ya ya, bla bla, ha ha ha.
An update, since my fitness and climbing skill has been under fire from some of the black hillers I speak of: climbed 240 pitches in EPC, mexi limestone at it's finest. This equals at least 3000 bolts clipped in a 6 week period, damn that was fun. I spent about 2 months in red rocks my count was 100+ pitches there. then a brief euro tour where I climbed Cima Grande and some stuff in Cham, more bolt clipping in Croatia (highly recommended). I was able to squeeze in 5o days of boating per year, mostly in wyo and colo but got the goods in the black hills a year ago with two runs at whitewood creek (not for the meek) watch out, you must scout. Well, we had 600 inches of pow, I counted 7 clear days last winter here in jackson so the skiing was kick ass.

I have added a bolt to gorillas, it has a name. The species barrier bolt; if you do this route without clipping the bolt you have completed the second ascent of gorillas, if you clip the bolt you can name the route whatever you want as you are now the "first". The bolt is all the way at the top of the rock band, your going to climb into the x zone to get to it. If ou do this route at all I am not responsible. I am prepared to add additional bolts at the rate of one per year until this climb is bolted into submission and regularly trafficked. If you find your self attempting an overbolted mixed route in ten years, just remember; you don't have to clip the bolts. Adios amigos. Oct 7, 2008
South Dakota
Schwab   South Dakota
Johnnie, you're back! And such an angry little leprechaun. I see you have kept up with the "Spearfish" crew and some of our whereabouts. You have also been kind enough to provide us with your recent travels and impressive resume. WOW! I, for one, am glad to see you back around as my Old Man Climber rating system may have had something to do with your departure. I was just kidding...I always liked ya (remember when you taught me not to backclip on Oliver Twist). I hope everything is going well and take it easy on the "bosch-wielding" Canyoneros. Oct 9, 2008

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