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Looking for someone to take me rock climbing

Original Post
Desiree K · · Unknown Hometown · Joined 14 days ago · Points: 0

I’ve only climbed in the gym and really want someone to teach me how to climb outside. I climb 5.9-5.10 in the gym top roping. I have an ATC, harness, shoes, and a helmet, but sadly, no rope. Will repay you in beer and/or food? Be down for anywhere around Fort Collins/Loveland/Boulder. 

Alex B · · Colorado · Joined Mar 2019 · Points: 0

Hey Desiree the Colorado Partners channel might be a better bet for finding a partner. With all the gyms being closed I’m sure there will be lots of people climbing outside that would be happy to teach you a few things! Good luck!

Julian H · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 5

You should not mention, teach you how to climb outside. I think people on meetup.com are more open to teaching other people how to climb than most people on this site. But I might be wrong because, you did mention free beer and food. 

M Sprague · · New England · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 5,074

You should probably wait until we aren't in the middle of a pandemic while people are being asked to maintain social distance. Once that is under control, I am sure there will be plenty of people willing to have you tag along.

TrashPandas RMNP · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2020 · Points: 0

Hey once it's safe and we are not spreading the virus around on the local crags, I'd be happy to take you out and show you some of the ropes. I am a safe climber and know how important it is to have mentors, as I was lucky enough to have some great ones! PM for my number and we can link up in the future. 

Michel Bernier · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 0

Hi Desiree, I'd love to take you out and show you the ropes (pun intended). Let's wait till the weather warms for a bit and dries the rock and we can go find some easy routes to practice.

L Kap · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 95

Agreed that now is not a good time to be climbing outside, especially with new partners. Both Denver and Boulder have "stay at home" orders in place as of recently.

Once we're all climbing again, if you make plans to go climbing alone with a guy you don't know, tell him you will want to photograph each other's driver's licenses and send it to someone you trust. Then do it as soon as you meet up. Not kidding. Most people are fine. Some are not. Guys who are not shady will be fine with this.

Shadiness aside, knowing who your partner is is also helpful in case of medical emergency. A surprising number of people don't even know the last name of the people they're climbing with.  

Michel Bernier · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 0
L Kap wrote: Agreed that now is not a good time to be climbing outside, especially with new partners. Both Denver and Boulder have "stay at home" orders in place as of recently.

Once we're all climbing again, if you make plans to go climbing alone with a guy you don't know, tell him you will want to photograph each other's driver's licenses and send it to someone you trust. Then do it as soon as you meet up. Not kidding. Most people are fine. Some are not. Guys who are not shady will be fine with this.

Shadiness aside, knowing who your partner is is also helpful in case of medical emergency. A surprising number of people don't even know the last name of the people they're climbing with.  

So, all unsolicited advice aside, I don't live in either Denver or Boulder counties so therefore I am not under a Stay At Home Order.

I am up for climbing anytime, Desiree, it is the best time of year to be climbing outside in the fresh air!

Now, to address the "mom advice": we're all adults here and while I can't speak for anyone else I do take offense to your insinuation that I (or any other "guy" offering a belay here on MP), cannot be trusted and needs to provide identity proof to a 3rd party before enjoying a day on the crag with a female.

Your comments are ignorant and a bit insulting.

In the future it would be appreciated if you keep your sexist comments to yourself and focus on your own life and decisions.

I, atleast, use my entire real name in my profile, "L Kap".

Thanks.
David House · · Boulder, CO · Joined Nov 2001 · Points: 216
L Kap wrote: Guys who are not shady will be fine with this.

I'm about as far from shady as can be but I would probably balk at someone I don't know asking for a photo of my drivers license! If I were going to take a relatively new climber out I would want to meet at a gym for a climbing session first to assess their aptitude, ability and attitude.

Jon Hillis · · Valley of Sun · Joined Mar 2013 · Points: 0
David House wrote:

I'm about as far from shady as can be but I would probably balk at someone I don't know asking for a photo of my drivers license! If I were going to take a relatively new climber out I would want to meet at a gym for a climbing session first to assess their aptitude, ability and attitude.

Yeah I like the wack advice from a dude not using his own name... I would be a bit hesitant to let some take a pic of my DL and send to some random person... But maybe I am shady? hmmmm

L Kap · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 95
Jon Hillis wrote:

Yeah I like the wack advice from a dude not using his own name... I would be a bit hesitant to let some take a pic of my DL and send to some random person... But maybe I am shady? hmmmm

Woman, actually, not a dude.  

I'm fine giving my real name and having my DL photographed by anyone I would climb with. Why wouldn't you let a person who you are comfortable taking climbing verify who you are and let someone else know who they are out with? What are you afraid of? 

L Kap · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 95
David House wrote:

I'm about as far from shady as can be but I would probably balk at someone I don't know asking for a photo of my drivers license! If I were going to take a relatively new climber out I would want to meet at a gym for a climbing session first to assess their aptitude, ability and attitude.

I'm absolutely on board with climbing at a gym first and think it's a great idea. Not everyone does that though. Same question to you - what fear do you have about having your DL photographed by someone you'd entrust with your safety as a climbing partner? Do you think identity thieves are hanging out on MP and agreeing to meet up in person and go climbing with strangers just so they can capture a phone image of your DL? 

L Kap · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 95
Michel Bernier wrote:

So, all unsolicited advice aside, I don't live in either Denver or Boulder counties so therefore I am not under a Stay At Home Order.

I am up for climbing anytime, Desiree, it is the best time of year to be climbing outside in the fresh air!

Now, to address the "mom advice": we're all adults here and while I can't speak for anyone else I do take offense to your insinuation that I (or any other "guy" offering a belay here on MP), cannot be trusted and needs to provide identity proof to a 3rd party before enjoying a day on the crag with a female.

Your comments are ignorant and a bit insulting.

In the future it would be appreciated if you keep your sexist comments to yourself and focus on your own life and decisions.

I, atleast, use my entire real name in my profile, "L Kap".

Thanks.

Thank you for your comments, Michel. Desiree can make up her own mind about whether they make you a more or less desirable climbing mentor. 

mark felber · · Wheat Ridge, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 41

None of the blind date partners I've climbed with have wanted to see any identification from me, much less sent a picture of my ID to anyone. I'm pretty sure I've been googled more than once, but that's no big deal.  A gym session or two would probably let both parties figure out if they really want to spend a day climbing together outside, if either party has any concerns.

No need to be quite so defensive about the "shady guy" comment. Shady people are everywhere, why shouldn't they be on MP?

I'm sure the OP is thrilled to be allowed to make up her own mind.

sDawg · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2011 · Points: 0

Hey Desiree, you should not climb with Michel.

Steve Williams · · Denver, CO · Joined Jul 2005 · Points: 235

L Kap is spot on.  She's also a very good and safe partner.  Though I didn't climb outdoors with
her, I climbed in the gym with her often, and she's the best.
Pretty smart lady.

Cosmiccragsman AKA Dwain · · Las Vegas, Nevada and Apple… · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 136

Here is my pic.
Will anyone climb after the shelter in place is over?


Patrik · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2010 · Points: 30

I've teamed up with a whole bunch of MPers over the years here in CO. Half a dozen of them were a true and immediate danger to my life while climbing. No, really, I'm not exaggerating. One of them actually dropped me to the ground as I was following a pitch. Luckily, it was only a 20ft fall (with a broken tailbone, broken helmet, and a hard concussion leading to 6 months of afternoon head aches). Another time I arrived at the top of the first pitch (again following) discovering that the leader had set up his belay device incorrectly. So, I had actually soloed a 5.9 without knowing it. Neither a climbing gym session, a photo of a drivers license, or criminal background check would have revealed or prevented anything. Evaluating if someone can keep you alive on the rock is a really difficult task.

Marc H · · Broomfield, CO · Joined May 2007 · Points: 255

I have also climbed with L Kap and can confirm that she did in fact ask for a photo of my DL; she in turn offered hers to me. It seemed strange at first, mostly because it was a unique experience for me, I realized in retrospect. We had a fun day out and have subsequently climbed together indoors and outdoors quite a bit. I second the above account of her being safe and smart; I would also add that she’s fun and conscientious.

Regarding her screen name, I don’t blame her. There’s no harm in not wanting your posts on MP to come up with a Google search. Non-climbers don’t understand a lot of what’s discussed in these forums and in today’s day and age, people love to judge others without regard to the position of ignorance they’re coming from. I’ll bet she would have no problem sharing her real name with most climbers on these boards if you had reason to know it (ie you were going to climb with her).

I’ve come to realize in the past few years that it’s almost impossible for men to understand what women have to go through to protect themselves from some men. Every single woman has a multitude of stories of sketchy things that men have done or tried to do to them. Every. Single. Woman. 

Asking for a pic of her male partners’ IDs is the safeguard that L Kap has come up with to protect herself before going into remote areas with relatively unknown people. It’s actually a very shrewd move when you really think about it. As men, we would better served asking ourselves, “Why do women need to take extraordinary steps to protect themselves?” instead of dismissing it as unnecessary/invasive.

Finally, if you’ve ever ordered a drink at a bar/restaurant or been into a liquor store, you have handed your ID to quite a few people that you don’t know and have been much briefer interactions with than fellow climbers.

revans · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2013 · Points: 50

Clearly none of you bro’s have had an unwanted interaction climbing...

L Kap · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 95

Revisiting the OP, it looks likely to be a fake profile. Completely blank profile, first and only post is this one, and never returned to check for replies. I give it 90% odds "Desiree" is a male troll with a chip on his shoulder about how supposedly easy it is for women to find great climbing mentors. I'll make the same point I've made elsewhere - yeah, more guys will offer to climb with a newbie who is female, but among the pool of guys who are especially motivated to climb with inexperienced women are predators and creepers who should be avoided. Please note that I said "among them" not "all of them".

At any rate - Marc H, thank you immensely for your reply. It shows some of the many reasons why you are a super cool climbing partner, and why you have an amazing climbing girlfriend.

Steve Williams - thank you for your supportive comments too. I'm not sure we've climbed together though - I don't get to the Denver gyms much. You might have mistaken me for someone else.

Patrik -

Patrik wrote: I've teamed up with a whole bunch of MPers over the years here in CO. Half a dozen of them were a true and immediate danger to my life while climbing. No, really, I'm not exaggerating. One of them actually dropped me to the ground as I was following a pitch. Luckily, it was only a 20ft fall (with a broken tailbone, broken helmet, and a hard concussion leading to 6 months of afternoon head aches). Another time I arrived at the top of the first pitch (again following) discovering that the leader had set up his belay device incorrectly. So, I had actually soloed a 5.9 without knowing it. Neither a climbing gym session, a photo of a drivers license, or criminal background check would have revealed or prevented anything. Evaluating if someone can keep you alive on the rock is a really difficult task.

Ugh, I'm so sorry you went through that. I've had similar experiences unfortunately (not getting dropped, but climbing a crux pitch and finding out I wasn't actually on belay) and empathize with how hard it can be to find good partners. As a woman, in addition to worrying about whether your partner might unintentionally kill you from carelessness or lack of skill, you also have to be on your guard against awkward sexual advances or outright sexual assault. Or retaliation for treating the day as a climbing trip rather than a date. As Marc noted, every woman has dealt with this repeatedly over a lifetime. Most men are just fine. Some are not. Asking people for their IDs is a great deterrent to slimy behavior. Sliminess aside, I also will talk with my partners about their climbing experience and thoughts on safety, and prefer to climb the first time in a gym.

The bottom line for me is that if I'm doing something to protect my safety and my potential partner isn't cool with it, that's a great way to weed out incompatible partners.

Desiree - if you do happen to be an actual woman looking to learn to climb outside, apologies for hijacking your thread. 

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

Colorado
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