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Psycho Climber in Joshua Tree!

Morgan Patterson · · CT · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 8,774

Those beady eyes... bipolar or schizo. Steer clear... 

NotBurchey ActuallyJustKiddingItsBurchey · · Unknown Hometown · Joined 11 days ago · Points: 0
caughtinside wrote:

Well your *tee hee!* onesie crew likely explains the hostility from baldy. Look at it this way - you’re headed out to your project to get rad, and you see some millennial Social Media Influencers dresses like goobs messing with your stuff. How loathesome!  Guy didn’t want to be a part of your little Romper Room, I get it. I think some diametrically opposes vibes collided head on. 

I’ve been at crags when the loud costume crew shows up. It sucks. 

Our resident attorney is right!  Assault is justified in this case!  Consider the facts:


1. This gear was rightfully stashed/abandoned per the Catbox Locals Bylaw 32.451 Section B.1, and clearly any kind of investigation into who it might belong to, or touching it in any way, is an outrage and a violation.  Hell, they touched the power button.  THE POWER BUTTON GUYS. Not to mention, think about how hard it is to record over something that's already been recorded.  Is that even possible?  The whole camera might be a total loss, come to think of it.  Fuk!

2.  This is Socal, bro.  If you aren't insecure and putting your hands on people for inadequate reasons, DO YOU EVEN EXIST?!?!  That's my wave, that's my rock, and when it comes down to it, you aren't even climbers because I SAY SO.  Forget the fact that you're climbing 5.12d in Jtree.  Do you have a video library of yourself?  No!  GTFO I'm local!

3.  Climbing is serious! These guys made a mockery of climbing by having fun and climbing hard while wearing a costume.  This disrespects the rock and all legit climbers who are so completely defined by the activity of climbing that it's DISRESPECTFUL AND YER LUCKY YOU DON"T GET PUSHED OFF A LEDGE AT THE CATBOX.  IF I'M FLAILING ON A CLIMB AND THEN YOU DO IT IN A ONESIE I'M ALLOWED TO BE MAD AND SAD!

Look - bottom line is this.  If you come down to the Jtree of the south, South Woodson, and you touch my camera to leave a funny video you WILL BE PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED.  You will deserve it, because I have decided that you deserve it, regardless of the actual laws of the land.  I don't care that you apologize and try to diffuse the situation, I outweigh you by about 40 pounds and I've got a LOT of testosterone buildup because NO SEX and guess who gets tossed off a ledge?  You do.  That's they way we do things around here, and that's just the way it is.  I've also decided that you aren't that into climbing, providing additional justification of these legal and mature and appropriate actions on my part.

Nawmean?!

**Editors note - while I'm having a great laugh, I can't believe I've got this scenario in front of me to mock.  JFC.

ubu · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2009 · Points: 0
Dan MacKinnon wrote:
Alpine onesie

That's actually pretty awesome.

Murf · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2002 · Points: 2,061

So you're saying you got grabbed  by the onsie over by Father Figure?  And all you did was look at an untidy pile of gear?

I guess I *could* ask around, but I'm not sure he's known as the "angry type"?   More like the "go as far from other climbers as I can" type.

And since you've got the tradiban carrying your water as the OP, you might want to take care in who you accuse with your unsubstantiated claims.  After all, he is the tradiban.

Murf

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65
Gumby the White wrote:

The thought occurred to me several weeks ago that onsies are superior to normal clothes for climbing. No bunching around the harness, no untucked jacket or shirt covering the gear loops on your harness, and extra warmth. I now have a onsie collection. Give it a shot one of these days, you won't be disappointed.

No, they're not!

Gumby the White · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2019 · Points: 101
Murf wrote: So you're telling me Andrew Burch grabbed you by the onsie over by Father Figure?  And all you did was look at an untidy pile of gear?

I guess I *could* ask around, but I'm not sure he's known as the "angry type"?   More like the "go as far from other climbers as I can" type.

And since you've got the tradiban carrying your water as the OP, you might want to take care in who you accuse with your unsubstantiated claims.  After all, he is the tradiban.

Murf

Ask around all you want. I was grabbed and almost pushed off a ledge, which is classified as ASSAULT. I have two other witnesses there to back up my story and am in the process of consulting an attorney.

Paul Morrison · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 10
NotBurchey ActuallyJustKiddingItsBurchey wrote:

Look - bottom line is this.  If you come down to the Jtree of the south, South Woodson, and you touch my camera to leave a funny video you WILL BE PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED.  You will deserve it, because I have decided that you deserve it, regardless of the actual laws of the land.  I don't care that you apologize and try to diffuse the situation, I outweigh you by about 40 pounds and I've got a LOT of testosterone buildup because NO SEX and guess who gets tossed off a ledge?  You do.  That's they way we do things around here, and that's just the way it is.  I've also decided that you aren't that into climbing, providing additional justification of these legal and mature and appropriate actions on my part.

Nawmean?!

Diffuse ≠ defuse.


Cheers
DMT
wonderwoman · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2006 · Points: 93
Fan Yang wrote:

We thought the owners might find it funny or might get annoyed, but oops my bad, we certainly didn't foresee that they'd want to kill us for it. 

I am glad you are okay and that no blood was shed.

Imagine what this thread would be like had you engaged in a fistfight wearing a onesie and, gawdforbid, lost.  

On second thought, if you had kicked this guys ass while wearing a onesie...  
caughtinside · · Oakland CA · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 1,450
Gumby the White wrote:

Ask around all you want. I was grabbed and almost pushed off a ledge, which is classified as ASSAULT. I have two other witnesses there to back up my story and am in the process of consulting an attorney.

But what does the video evidence show??

jt newgard · · San Diego, CA · Joined Jul 2016 · Points: 210

Seems there is less and less room for a little jest in today's society. SAD!

Dan Daugherty · · Virginia Beach, VA · Joined Aug 2018 · Points: 5
Gumby the White wrote:

Ask around all you want. I was grabbed and almost pushed off a ledge, which is classified as ASSAULT. I have two other witnesses there to back up my story and am in the process of consulting an attorney.

I want to make sure I get this right. You and your buddies decide to vandalize someone else's property while they are away, that someone rolls up, is bigger and is prepared to defend his property, you try to tuck tail and shirk all responsibility for your actions and then you consult an attorney? It sounds an awful lot like if that someone rolled up and wasn't able to defend himself, you'd still be mocking him, right?

I would love to watch this case on Judge Judy. 
EFS · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 155

now im not against droppin photos or vid of my junk on random cameras laying around, in fact i was well known for it at the drop zone i worked at. i think its funny as hell.....that being said, you should have gotten your ass kicked for wearing a onesie....  

Big B · · Sin City, NV · Joined Mar 2015 · Points: 1
Morgan Patterson wrote: Those beady eyes... bipolar or schizo. Steer clear... 

did we thread drift to adam schiff now?!?

Cpn Dunsel · · Salting The Earth Beneath Y… · Joined Jan 2003 · Points: 135
Big B wrote:

did we thread drift to adam schiff now?!?

Adam Schiff has bug eyes, not beady.

Please.

Bug:


versus

Beady:



Get your pejoratives and ad homs straight, will ya !?!
Cosmiccragsman AKA Dwain · · Las Vegas, Nevada, and Appl… · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 116
Big B wrote:

did we thread drift to adam schiff now?!?

Yep. This thread has turned into a BUGEYED S#it Show


Gumby the White · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2019 · Points: 101
Dan Daugherty wrote:

I want to make sure I get this right. You and your buddies decide to vandalize someone else's property while they are away, that someone rolls up, is bigger and is prepared to defend his property, 

van·dal·ize/ˈvandlˌīz
verbpast tense: vandalized; past participle: vandalized

  1. deliberately destroy or damage (public or private property).
Wrong word choice.
Kevin Mokracek · · Burbank · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 290
Gumby the White wrote:

Ask around all you want. I was grabbed and almost pushed off a ledge, which is classified as ASSAULT. I have two other witnesses there to back up my story and am in the process of consulting an attorney.

You already sunk yourself by admitting to rifling through this guys stuff.   The fact that it’s a national park is irrelevant to your story and the gear wasn’t abandoned, the guy showed up while you were there.   You guys are spineless.  

Murf · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2002 · Points: 2,061
Kevin Mokracek wrote:

You already sunk yourself by admitting to rifling through this guys stuff.   The fact that it’s a national park is irrelevant to your story and the gear wasn’t abandoned, the guy showed up while you were there.   You guys are spineless.  

And aren't you the one who was "missing" for 2 hours and we had an internet panic attack ( and a missing persons report )?

You go to Josh twice and have the man involved both times?  Maybe take up knitting.
Cole Gibson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2009 · Points: 35

January 14th and we already have a strong candidate for thread of the year!

Kevin Mokracek · · Burbank · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 290
Murf wrote:

And aren't you the one who was "missing" for 2 hours and we had an internet panic attack ( and a missing persons report )?

You go to Josh twice and have the man involved both times?  Maybe take up knitting.

What??? Please tell me more this sounds good. 

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