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Wacky Route Names


Nick Goldsmith · · Pomfret VT · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 440

I like Armed Dangerous and Off MY Medication @ Rumny.

Cooper - · · South Bay (SF) · Joined Jul 2018 · Points: 0

"Mr. Choad's Wild Ride" is pretty good in Red Rock

Adam Stackhouse · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 13,295

watch out.  wacky names may be changed pursuant to the politically correct crowd always lurking around...

Eric Engberg · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2009 · Points: 0
Nick Goldsmith wrote: I put up 4 climbs in a row in VT. Wild Woman 10a.  Lick Tickle and a Spank 9+ Full Monty 10a and Celibacy 9+

I would guess the naming sequence is significant and chronological.  

eli poss · · Durango, Co · Joined May 2014 · Points: 507
Eric Engberg wrote:

I would guess the naming sequence is significant and chronological.  

If it's chronological, I certainly hope it's in reverse order. Otherwise, it sounds like a good campfire story

Jim Corbett · · Keene, NY · Joined Sep 2008 · Points: 10
Adam Stackhouse wrote: watch out.  wacky names may be changed pursuant to the politically correct crowd always lurking around...

No kidding. I did a two pitch direct finish to 'New Perversions' on Whitesides in NC that we named 'Dirty Dykes Done Dirt Cheap'. When the the guide came out they changed the 'y' to an 'i'. GB author blamed the publisher.

There is a crag up here in the 'Daks above the Santa's Workshop tourist trap that has a route named 'Don We Know Wears Gay Apparel' which cracks me up, long time guide book author is Don Mellor.
Adam Stackhouse · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 13,295
Jim Corbett wrote:

No kidding. I did a two pitch direct finish to 'New Perversions' on Whitesides in NC that we named 'Dirty Dykes Done Dirt Cheap'. When the the guide came out they changed the 'y' to an 'i'. GB author blamed the publisher.

There is a crag up here in the 'Daks above the Santa's Workshop tourist trap that has a route named 'Don We Know Wears Gay Apparel' which cracks me up, long time guide book author is Don Mellor.

""Dirty Dykes Done Dirt Cheap""  That is an excellent name!!!

Josh · · Golden, CO · Joined Jan 2006 · Points: 965

Really, most of this thread should be renamed “raunchy route names” or “adolescent humor route names.”  I’m not sure all of these qualify as “wacky...”

Max Supertramp · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2008 · Points: 65

You guys are just skimming the surface of the really offensive provocative (read: commonly now-censored, removed or redacted  on MP) route titles.  I labeled a camo'd hanger "BLACK MAGIC FUCK BOY".  I hope the placement or route lives up to the moniker when I happen to pull that particular hanger out that little blue and black bolt bag some day.  

this is part of why I dont post my new routes or (any routes) on MP: names like Minipony Gangbang might offend the miniponies or those that care about them among MP users.  I get it.  it's a business.  but my guidebook to privatelandia is NTBR.

Jim Jam · · Wenatchee, WA · Joined Apr 2016 · Points: 267

The Oral Office

Gargling Sperm

Groping Oprah's Navel

hunter konchan · · Colorado · Joined Nov 2015 · Points: 20

I promise not to cam in your mouth

Curt Veldhuisen · · Bellingham, WA · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 642

Desperate Leavenworth roof cracks - "Shriek of the Mutilated" and it's neighbor "Squeak of the Humiliated"

Try Cam · · Ft. Wayne, IN · Joined Nov 2017 · Points: 0

Road Head (Black Canyon )

Forrest Carver · · Edgecomb, ME · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 85

Flying Squirrels Under the Moon of Discrimination

fallingmonkey · · The West · Joined Oct 2012 · Points: 30

Analtittyballs 5.7a+ R

M Hanna · · Seattle, WA · Joined Apr 2015 · Points: 5

Lets not forget Index, Wa
Cunning Stunt
My apologies if mentioned upthread

caesar.salad · · earth · Joined Dec 2012 · Points: 75

Most of hueco really...

kemple sr. · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2011 · Points: 95

The Gunks has some classics like Finger Locks or Cedar Box and Falled on Account of Strain
For my routes, I am a fan of  bad puns or double entendre:  Lichen Licken, Kagels and Locks, or Layback and Relax.  But my proudest is actually a triple: Crack Addict.  Think about it!

highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion · · Colorado · Joined Oct 2012 · Points: 35

I haven't named a lot of routes but I've come up with a few.

Technical Ecstasy, it's actually the name of a later Black Sabbath album that has artwork depicting robots having sex. In my description I wrote, you don't have to be a fucking machine to do this route but it helps.

Crumbling Reality, steep and unrelenting, a big evil roof crack that is worthy of a reality suffix. Given the nature of the rock and the width of the crack, it's perfect.

Black Seal, a nice little area that had a bunch of Moby Dick route names. This route was different, definitely not the white whale. Also the name of an excellent rum.

One Shoe Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Puns are fun.

Josh Lowy · · Sacramento, CA · Joined Aug 2016 · Points: 580

A Brief Conversation Ending in Divorce - Bishop, CA
Bob Barker Cut My Dog's Nuts Off - Squamish , BC
Cocaine in My Dick Vein - Oahu, HI
The Shityourpantsinator - Leavenworth, WA
Never Have I Ever Used A Stepstool - Index, WA
Mr. Choad's Wild Ride - Red Rock, NV (already mentioned)
Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You - Exit 38, WA
Crossing the Delaware With Your Pants Down - Vantage, WA

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

General Climbing
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