For next few days, REI will DOUBLE your gift to the Access Fund - up to $65,000. Donate Now!
Mountain Project Logo

New climber that's owning it!


wendy weiss · · boulder, co · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 10
Nate Tastic wrote:

Or are you suggesting she should change just to fit into a narrative that isn't, in reality, who this particular person is? It would appear that is the case by your last comment. Feel free to correct me, however. 

And why should Forrest tell his story any other way than how he saw it or wanted to tell it? It's his perspective. He's entitled to it just like you all are entitled to yours. Plus, he's the only one who knows her, why should he lie about her to make her out to be something she's not? And this as to not step on the toes of other people who think she should be different than she actually is?

Also, I'd like to point out that perceptions aren't always what they appear to be and can cross the line and more represent opinions. And therefore totally open to debate; and here we are.

Lastly, and this is only an opinion, my 2 centavos:

Some of you have become hammers and see all the things as nails. I do, however, understand how that may have transpired (or at least I can make an educated guess based on what I know of history and more) and am familiar with the historical context of what may have gotten us to that point but, consider choosing your battles more wisely. Lots of real fights out there, this wasn't one of them.

Again, it's just my 2 cents. Feel free to disagree.

Not hurt. Not upset. Didn't think it was a battle. And of course Forrest is entitled to his perspective and his narrative; I wasn't suggesting that he should lie about his GF. Nor was I suggesting that she should be any different than she actually is. She's her own person apart from his perspective and can probably be described honestly in many ways. I was simply struck by a narrative that, IMO, harkened back to some old, condescending stereotypes about women. 

Note: Nate, I don't know why the first part of your quote disappears from my response. That's MP, not me.     

G Man · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 65

I just can't get over the idea that she couldn't figure out how to use a GriGri...

Tractor Muzic · · Unknown Hometown · Joined 10 days ago · Points: 0

is this the bernie sanders rally or wat

Mark Dalen · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 930
Greg Redlawsk wrote: I just can't get over the idea that she couldn't figure out how to use a GriGri...

Probably way too intuitive ... to use a Grigri properly you have to strip the gear in your head that has you instinctively grabbing the rope to stop a fall ...

Forrest Halley · · Unknown Hometown · Joined 13 days ago · Points: 0

Actually it was the lever that she didn't get along with so much. To be honest I had several lightbulbs illuminated for me on optimal use of a Grigri by a gym employee who was really nice and kind to us in showing us how to best make use of the thing for lead belaying. Now I'm certain one or many of you are going to run some place with that statement. I'm happy to help you exercise!

Outside is in the works. We're skill building and strengthening while making contacts and friends. When she's comfortable with going outside to climb, we'll go with someone WHOM she's comfortable with.

Well I certainly did not forsee the amazing analysis a simple post would receive. Folks want to worry about what I said and how I said it. I'm convinced that some might even go so far as to tell me or her how to feel about it. That's crossing a line there. You don't have a right to try and correct my manner of speaking to conform to your sociopolitical agenda. It's about climbing, where people put all of that aside to address the simple problem of how to get up. A group of folks are all united in this one common goal without regard to anything else complicating it. I haven't got time for figuring out what pronoun or which tone is going to be most acceptable. I'm proud of my now fiancée's accomplishments and I won't be able to come back down from this cloud to accommodate killjoys who have been miffed. I neither want nor need to be educated or given a second chance unless you're talking about gear, beta, or a pitch. Onward and upward. Climbing? Cimb on!

Randy Von Zee · · Darien, IL · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 4,743
Forrest Halley wrote: Well I certainly did not forsee the amazing analysis a simple post would receive. 

lol, 5 pages of nitpicking femtoaggressions later, congrats to her on the 5.8.

Pnelson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 380

I agree with Lena, if a female had written what the OP wrote, but about a boyfriend, she would be greeted with 15 pages of propositions to her and denigrations to her guy.

Lena chita · · OH · Joined Mar 2011 · Points: 745
Peter Lenz wrote: Hey Lena,
Thank you for bringing this up. I felt vaguely uncomfortable with the original post, and now I know why. I understand your objections, and frankly, it took your letter to raise my awareness.
 That said, the original poster clearly meant no harm, and simply wanted to express to others the joy he and his partner are finding in climbing.
I think we should welcome him and his partner
into the fold, and appreciate being reminded of
joy and enthusiasm many of us experienced
when we were new to climbing.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Peter Lenz

I'm glad you got what i was trying to say.

As to why would i bring this up in a post by a guy who mostly sounded like he was just psyched for the progress his girlfriend was making? I brought it precisely BECAUSE the guy mostly sounded like he was psyched about his girlfriend's progress, with couple off-putting sentences in the mix.

I don't know this guy. And I was willing to assume that this is something he has done without much thinking about how these kinds of remarks might be perceived, rather than doing it intentionally, because he feels superior to his girlfriend specifically, or to women in general. It might just be the way he is used to thinking/talking, just because it is common, and he doesn't mean anything bad by it.

In that case, pointing out a thing like that MAY  (just may) get a person to think, "huh, I didn't realize how it comes across, do I really talk about my girlfriend in a patronizing way?"  

I have learned that some of the things I used to say were not as harmless/random as I used to think, and I choose not to do it. I think other people might also.

Jack Lumber · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2017 · Points: 0
Forrest Halley wrote: Actually it was the lever that she didn't get along with so much. To be honest I had several lightbulbs illuminated for me on optimal use of a Grigri by a gym employee who was really nice and kind to us in showing us how to best make use of the thing for lead belaying. Now I'm certain one or many of you are going to run some place with that statement. I'm happy to help you exercise!

Outside is in the works. We're skill building and strengthening while making contacts and friends. When she's comfortable with going outside to climb, we'll go with someone who she's comfortable with.

Well I certainly did not forsee the amazing analysis a simple post would receive. Folks want to worry about what I said and how I said it. I'm convinced that some might even go so far as to tell me or her how to feel about it. That's crossing a line there. You don't have a right to try and correct my manner of speaking to conform to your sociopolitical agenda. It's about climbing, where people put all of that aside to address the simple problem of how to get up. A group of folks are all united in this one common goal without regard to anything else complicating it. I haven't got time for figuring out what pronoun or which tone is going to be most acceptable. I'm proud of my now fiancée's accomplishments and I won't be able to come back down from this cloud to accommodate killjoys who have been miffed. I neither want nor need to be educated or given a second chance unless you're talking about gear, beta, or a pitch. Onward and upward. Climbing? Cimb on!

Well said, Forrest! Stay stoked!

Dave Meyer · · Ojai · Joined Jun 2011 · Points: 50
Forrest Halley wrote: Actually it was the lever that she didn't get along with so much. To be honest I had several lightbulbs illuminated for me on optimal use of a Grigri by a gym employee who was really nice and kind to us in showing us how to best make use of the thing for lead belaying. Now I'm certain one or many of you are going to run some place with that statement. I'm happy to help you exercise!

Outside is in the works. We're skill building and strengthening while making contacts and friends. When she's comfortable with going outside to climb, we'll go with someone WHOM she's comfortable with.

Well I certainly did not forsee the amazing analysis a simple post would receive. Folks want to worry about what I said and how I said it. I'm convinced that some might even go so far as to tell me or her how to feel about it. That's crossing a line there. You don't have a right to try and correct my manner of speaking to conform to your sociopolitical agenda. It's about climbing, where people put all of that aside to address the simple problem of how to get up. A group of folks are all united in this one common goal without regard to anything else complicating it. I haven't got time for figuring out what pronoun or which tone is going to be most acceptable. I'm proud of my now fiancée's accomplishments and I won't be able to come back down from this cloud to accommodate killjoys who have been miffed. I neither want nor need to be educated or given a second chance unless you're talking about gear, beta, or a pitch. Onward and upward. Climbing? Cimb on!

Hear! hear! Enjoy yourselves and don't let the negative people bring you down. Haters gonna hate.

Old lady H · · Boise, ID · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 455
Forrest Halley wrote: Actually it was the lever that she didn't get along with so much. To be honest I had several lightbulbs illuminated for me on optimal use of a Grigri by a gym employee who was really nice and kind to us in showing us how to best make use of the thing for lead belaying. Now I'm certain one or many of you are going to run some place with that statement. I'm happy to help you exercise!

Outside is in the works. We're skill building and strengthening while making contacts and friends. When she's comfortable with going outside to climb, we'll go with someone WHOM she's comfortable with.

Well I certainly did not forsee the amazing analysis a simple post would receive. Folks want to worry about what I said and how I said it. I'm convinced that some might even go so far as to tell me or her how to feel about it. That's crossing a line there. You don't have a right to try and correct my manner of speaking to conform to your sociopolitical agenda. It's about climbing, where people put all of that aside to address the simple problem of how to get up. A group of folks are all united in this one common goal without regard to anything else complicating it. I haven't got time for figuring out what pronoun or which tone is going to be most acceptable. I'm proud of my now fiancée's accomplishments and I won't be able to come back down from this cloud to accommodate killjoys who have been miffed. I neither want nor need to be educated or given a second chance unless you're talking about gear, beta, or a pitch. Onward and upward. Climbing? Cimb on!

Well spoken, sir. And, congratulations! Wishing many happy years of full partnership to you both. You are clearly kind, thoughtful, patient, and stoked for your partner, a good beginning, in my book. Not one of us has disputed that in the least!

Best, Helen
jg fox · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2015 · Points: 5
This post violated Guideline #1 and has been removed.
Jeffrey K · · Seattle, WA · Joined Apr 2018 · Points: 0
Forrest Halley wroteFolks want to worry about what I said and how I said it. I'm convinced that some might even go so far as to tell me or her how to feel about it. That's crossing a line there. You don't have a right to try and correct my manner of speaking to conform to your sociopolitical agenda. 

Actually, we do. It's called freedom of speech. You're welcome to ignore it but we live in a country that allows us to express our opinions.

That same right allows you to post a weird, deprecating dating website style description of your girlfriend on an internet forum to start a climbing story.

Maybe that's just your weird sense of humor and your girlfriend finds it entertaining when you make fun of her to other people. Cool. I find it odd that your story provided more information about your girlfriend than I find about women I message on dating sites.

At least now if things don't work out she has a great self-deprecating dating profile; "Blonde, blue eyed woman of a medium build seeks climbing buddy.  Really pale and bugs love me but I'll risk the dangers of gym plastic and belay while looking stylish."

A+.
Old lady H · · Boise, ID · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 455

Lena, Wendy, Em, and others, I think we "know" each other reasonably well on MP by now. I always read all of your posts and respect you, very much.

This isn't the first time we've danced this dance on MP, and it won't be the last. I do see all of your points, but the original post just didn't strike me the same way. Or, so mildly as not to bother.

But, we all have also conversed repeatedly with the guys on here. That you continue to do so, thoughtfully, is very much appreciated by myself and others. Even in the extraordinarily rare moments when we don't entirely agree. Thanks, ladies!

I want you, and the community to know our presence does make a quiet difference out in the "real world". I have had long, private conversations with several very thoughtful gents on some of the hot button topics. I've also had PM's from ladies who only lurk.

Building these relationships, talking, learning the others view, heading toward simple respect....that's the real change that lasts....

...built one friend at a time. I'm honored to be part of this tribe, especially the truly great women who are on here.

I gotta get out there and meet more of you!!!

Best, Helen

Abbie R · · Denver, CO · Joined Mar 2017 · Points: 5
I'm working out like crazy to stay ahead.
OP, I'm glad the two of you are psyched on a new active pastime. But please don't worry if your partner sometimes climbs harder than you. It's totally okay. The attitude that will take you much further in climbing is one of "we're in it together, encouraging each other and celebrating each other's victories!" not "I introduced my girlfriend to climbing and need to remain in this teacher/mentor role forever or else." Healthy competition is fun and harmless (and inspiring), but beware of that latter attitude - it's a real buzz-kill for all involved. Other people's victories do not diminish you!
Nate Tastic · · 88,4,108,50, 80 · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 10

Well, it was nice knowing you Forrest, at least for a minute. Sorry to see you go. Guess I don't blame you for never wanting to post here again. Good luck and stay stoked!

P.s. congrats to you both on the up coming wedding!

Forrest Halley · · Unknown Hometown · Joined 13 days ago · Points: 0
Jeffrey K wrote:

Actually, we do. It's called freedom of speech. You're welcome to ignore it but we live in a country that allows us to express our opinions.

That same right allows you to post a weird, deprecating dating website style description of your girlfriend on an internet forum to start a climbing story.

Maybe that's just your weird sense of humor and your girlfriend finds it entertaining when you make fun of her to other people. Cool. I find it odd that your story provided more information about your girlfriend than I find about women I message on dating sites.

At least now if things don't work out she has a great self-deprecating dating profile; "Blonde, blue eyed woman of a medium build seeks climbing buddy.  Really pale and bugs love me but I'll risk the dangers of gym plastic and belay while looking stylish."

A+.

Well since you insist upon using your free speech to whine about your inability to respect me using mine, I'm going to use my weird sense of humor to observe that you tacitly admitted to struggling with online dating. I deduced this by the fact that you admitted messaging multiple women and finding out less than a general description of a person. Sorry about your luck, but it is my sincere hope that you continue to conduct yourself with honor regardless of a lack of successful outcomes. But, what do I know? I'm just a guy engaged to a beautiful girl I met doing an activity outside with nice folks. Folks presumed that we don't do outdoor activities when in actuality we're just appreciating a specific indoor active pass time together.

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 275

I like Forrest, more and more, with each post from him.

Nate Tastic · · 88,4,108,50, 80 · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 10
FrankPS wrote: I like Forrest, more and more, with each post from him.

I know, right? Also, where is that mic drop meme when you need one? 

jg fox · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2015 · Points: 5
Jeffrey K wrote:

SUBJECT: Good luck passing 9th grade!

FYI, human beings can be born with a number of different sexes or combination of sexes. Sex can be identified by chromosones or by physical anatomy, which arent always the same. Gender is a social role undefined by sex. Both those things are factual.

Grow up, bigot.

If his messages to women are anything like what he sent me, then it should be no surprise he fails.
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

Post a Reply to "New climber that's owning it!"
in the Beginning Climbers

Log In to Reply