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First ascentionists: What's the worst thing you've ever done a first ascent of?


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David Kerkeslager · · New Paltz, NY · Joined Jan 2017 · Points: 55

Spray about it

M Sprague · · New England · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 4,984

A pile of rotting fish?

John Wilder · · Las Vegas, NV · Joined Feb 2004 · Points: 1,530

Ive done a fair number of new routes out there, but only one was really really terrible. I'd spray about it, but no one should ever do it. It's a miracle we didn't die putting it up.

Nick Goldsmith · · Pomfret VT · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 440

I named one heap House of cards. led the 1st pitch  up a loose brushy chimney 5.6  or so.  made belay on a rotten ledge under tons of loose stacked blocks which had been hidden from below by all the nice shrubbery. drilled a single bolt and bailed.

Mark Dalen · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 935

In 1992 I did what was I suspect was a first ascent on the NE face of Orizaba ... I did it by accident, aiming for the N face but starting up too early, ascending between the trough that is the backside of the Sarcofago & the huge icicle that overhangs the upper NE face ... after crossing the trough in a hail of stones the route follows an ice ramp that was nice enough but dumped me out on a high angle scree field about 50 meters wide ... sliding toward the void at every step, I sprinted for a large flat stone in the middle & perched on it, like some rock surfer at 16K feet, though it stayed more or less in place while I caught my breath before dashing across the remainder ... the mixed ground to follow was okay & I ended up chimneying up the moat between rock and the hanging part of the Jamapa glacier ... back down in his compound I showed Senor Reyes my route on a photo on his wall ... I don't think he believed me ... I didn't blame him ...

Salamanizer suchoski · · Vacaville Ca. · Joined Sep 2005 · Points: 2,865

I have done many. Sometimes its hard to judge the quality of a route looking up at it from the ground. 

M Sprague · · New England · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 4,984

Salamanizer suchoski wrote:

I have done many. Sometimes its hard to judge the quality of a route looking up at it from the ground. 

That's why I tend to do mine from top down, when possible 

Boots Ylectric · · Chicago IL · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 165

This prehistoric choss pile

Aaron Livingston · · UT · Joined Sep 2012 · Points: 120

Climbed a new route that i thought was a splitter handcrack. Turned out to be a completely detached pillar that was probably something like 3 feet wide X 3 feet deep for its entire 70 foot length. It resonated loudly and was all OW, not a handcrack. To this day I have no idea how that pillar stays attached. Not recommended, chalked it up as a learning experience.

slevin · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,003

"Idi Amin" on Bartizan in the South Dakota Needles, with Jim Waugh in 1980. Poorly-protected wide crack climbing past poison ivy, dead birds and chopper flakes to a loose, lichen-crusted inelegant hand crack crux. And it was only 5.8.  

RER · · Southern California · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 3,290

The project of that one guy in the gym, and his girlfriend. Send party!

David Bruneau · · St. John · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 1,243

https://www.mountainproject.com/route/110689446/impending-doom

Toss up between this, or a two pitcher called "Sand Castle" that ended on a ledge with no pro in the middle of the wall, that required 20 feet of 5.8 downclimbing to a gravelly crack you could bail from. 
bruno-cx · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 20

1. Not "comfortizing" holds when needed
2. Using too much glue
3. Using too little glue
4. Getting glue on my grigri
5. Bolting absolute choss instead of the good line right next to it
6. Landscaping, lots of landscaping

Andrew Gram · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 3,580

Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  
Ryan Swanson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2018 · Points: 8

Andrew Gram wrote: Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  

"should fade back into obscurity after early November"

climberish · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2013 · Points: 10

Andrew Gram wrote: Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  

Why is there not a separate thread for this gem....

Michael Schneider · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 943

Variation #3 is a nasty wet pigeon/pooped- filled, crab crawl thru a bombbay chimney(5.6/7?). . .

the bush now blocks, V2

along the lines of needing to make the most of what you find lying around
@18 NO WHITE STUFF PLEEZE ! Really I like this stone, its not a 'worst' to me
# 18

Then again there is one smaller but it has a splitter that is worth a TR

Chris Little · · Albuquerque N.M. · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 0

Andrew Gram wrote: Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  

Sounds to me like he lives rent free in your head. Lots of room there?

Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,470

In 2010 Tarbuster, Eric, and I hiked up to a fin of some really shitty metamorphic rock (I think) in Boulder Canyon. Roy climbed the Fin of Krappe and brought up Eric. I declined the invitation to stand on the top. To our knowledge it has not been repeated.

King Tut · · Citrus Heights · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 430

"I didn't do it nobody saw me you got nothing on me."

What esteemed statesman said that?

Mark Dalen · · Albuquerque, NM · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 935

Chris Little wrote:

Sounds to me like he lives rent free in your head. Lots of room there?

Ah, the good old days in America - before a moderate chortle became a cosmic joke ...

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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