Mountain Project Logo

Pee Pee Time


Original Post
Adam Gong · · Brooklyn, NY · Joined Mar 2017 · Points: 20

You're mid pitch, a decent way above your last piece of gear and a ways off from the next good placement when it happens.

All of a sudden nature starts screaming, the kidney urgently needs tapping, you can't think straight, your focus washed away by thoughts of a yellow tsunami.

Every muscle in your body tenses to keep the levee from breaking. Simple movements take the most Herculean of efforts. Simple thoughts require the intellect of Einstein. 

Every other idea, every other thought has evaporated from your mind. 

All focus is on one objective - don't pee your pants.

What do you do? 



Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,470

That's a question for the ages, bro.


Ryan Swanson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2018 · Points: 8

I'd start by getting a prostate exam

SeƱor Arroz · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2016 · Points: 10

Surfing might be a better sport for you. Or scuba.

scott fuzz · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 125

You should always need new undies by the time you put in that -it might hold-  first piece. Try going up a grade or two-

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 275

When I was a little kid, before we would get in the car for a drive, my dad would ask, "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

That same forward-looking preparation applies to many things in life, including leaving the ground or belay.

Em Cos · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 5

Adam Gong wrote:

You're mid pitch, a decent way above your last piece of gear and a ways off from the next good placement when it happens.

All of a sudden nature starts screaming, the kidney urgently needs tapping, you can't think straight, your focus washed away by thoughts of a yellow tsunami.

Every muscle in your body tenses to keep the levee from breaking. Simple movements take the most Herculean of efforts. Simple thoughts require the intellect of Einstein. 

Every other idea, every other thought has evaporated from your mind. 

All focus is on one objective - don't pee your pants.

What do you do? 



Shift all your focus to staying safe, and pee your pants if you must. 

I had a peemergency on lead once, it was a long climb on a hot day and we tried to thoroughly hydrate before starting. Luckily it was an easy pitch - I found a small ledge with a bit of vegetation, placed a good piece, cloved to it, traversed a few feet off route, and took care of business. My partner did wonder why I got so slowed down on the easiest pitch of the climb. 

Tim Stich · · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,470

For other issues on the route, I highly recommend a pre trip dose of Immodium AD.

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65

Adam Gong wrote:

You're mid pitch, a decent way above your last piece of gear and a ways off from the next good placement when it happens.

All of a sudden nature starts screaming, the kidney urgently needs tapping, you can't think straight, your focus washed away by thoughts of a yellow tsunami.

Every muscle in your body tenses to keep the levee from breaking. Simple movements take the most Herculean of efforts. Simple thoughts require the intellect of Einstein. 

Every other idea, every other thought has evaporated from your mind. 

All focus is on one objective - don't pee your pants.

What do you do? 

Perhaps become more aware of your body and its signals so that it isn't an urgent emergency surprise?


Roderick R · · Burlington, VT · Joined Sep 2015 · Points: 5

Turns out, having to pee will help you to make better decisions and think more clearly (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/choke/201104/got-go-wait-youll-do-your-best-thinking), so I'd use it to find better gear placements, find them faster, and climb better.  How about this...  drink way too much before the climb, then use the call of nature to send your hardest project.    

Russ Keane · · Asheville, NC · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 150

Your objective is to not pee your pants?   As opposed to not breaking your leg in a lead fall? 

King Tut · · Citrus Heights · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 430

Mountain Project never fails to disappoint...

jg fox · · Long Beach, CA · Joined Jun 2015 · Points: 5

Russ Keane wrote:

Your objective is to not pee your pants?   As opposed to not breaking your leg in a lead fall? 

I can't speak for a leg but when I broke my ankle climbing, my body wouldn't let me urinate until four or five hours later at the hospital.

The power of shock...

kevin deweese · · Oakland, Ca · Joined Jan 2007 · Points: 350

A true altruist would look for a ledged-out and dehydrated Bear Grylls doing another ridiculous climbing advert and pee in his mouth to hydrate him before returning to their lead. 






Chris Little · · Albuquerque N.M. · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 0

Dude: This topic is a good one!!! I used to climb with a guy who did something a lot worse than pee his pants. (Did Tim Stitch have a premonition of what I'm about to write?)They were climbing somewhere, about half way up a route with several pitches. This guy (No, I'm not going to mention his name) took the lead, got one or two moves up, and took a high step. What happened next was truly horrifying. The way it was told to me was he had diarrhea and it manifested itself in that instant with absolutely no warning. Maybe he knew it, and was trying to make it to the top. Anyway, when he stepped up, he was at the perfect height and position to literally soak his belayer. He was wearing shorts, so it came out fairly unimpeded. It ran down his legs. It was all over the gear and rope. It was gushing and squishing in the belay device. They had to climb the next few pitches to the top like that. What did the next party think when they got to that spot? Did he and his partner have to burn their car after the drive home? I'm glad I wasn't there. I was told this story one rainy night at the camping spot for Cedar Rock, N.C. I have never laughed so hard. I don't want to change the subject, but I'll bet this story won't be easily topped. I said something about it to the guy once, and his reaction was consistent with the story being true. Choose your partners carefully! BTW..,. I stopped watching Bear after he drank river water in Africa, got Montezuma's Revenge, and had to squat on a ledge with absolutely no warning except to say "Sorry." The camera got it all.

Ryan Swanson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2018 · Points: 8

kevin deweese wrote:

A true altruist would look for a ledged-out and dehydrated Bear Grylls doing another ridiculous climbing advert and pee in his mouth to hydrate him before returning to their lead. 








I hate it when I forget to chalk up my cams.

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65

kevin deweese wrote:

A true altruist would look for a ledged-out and dehydrated Bear Grylls doing another ridiculous climbing advert and pee in his mouth to hydrate him before returning to their lead. 



BTW, if anyone is curious, the route he climbs is on Tombstone Rock, northwest of Moab:

https://www.mountainproject.com/route/105718033/rigor-mortis


kevin deweese · · Oakland, Ca · Joined Jan 2007 · Points: 350

Marc801 C wrote:

BTW, if anyone is curious, the route he climbs is on Tombstone Rock, northwest of Moab:

https://www.mountainproject.com/route/105718033/rigor-mortis


Yeah, he's also running over a bunch of biological soil crust in the beginning because... reasons. 

highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion · · Colorado · Joined Oct 2012 · Points: 35

Am I the only one who inserts a Foley catheter as part of my pre climbing prep. Try not to tear the leg bag in the offwidth.

ViperScale . · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2013 · Points: 240

I personally leave my mark on every wall I climb.

RER · · Southern California · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 3,290

Well if you have played the classic game Don't $hit your Pants then you should know the solution is simple. Don't climb in pants.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

Post a Reply to "Pee Pee Time"
in the General Climbing

Log In to Reply