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ISO Gay Belay


Hobo Greg · · My Van · Joined Mar 2016 · Points: 160
This post violated Guideline #1 and has been removed.
Em Cos · · Boulder, CO · Joined Apr 2010 · Points: 5
Hobo Greg wrote:

Maybe you can try speaking up instead of removing the people that are different than you.

She's not removing, she's adding - looking for new climbing partners. Women often post specifically looking for fellow women partners, presumably because either they would be more comfortable with another woman, or maybe because they like climbing with both but already have plenty of male partners. How is this any different? Or maybe you believe neither is acceptable? 

Climbing is social, and requires a huge amount of trust. No one is required to be 100% egalitarian in their choices of climbing partners and be willing to climb with anyone and everyone. 

There's nothing wrong with looking for a potential climbing/dating partner either, that thread for/by Casey got a lot of support I recall. 

sara pax · · western mass · Joined Jun 2013 · Points: 216
Hobo Greg wrote:

Maybe you can try speaking up instead of removing the people that are different than you.

Yo. I don't think she's said anything about not climbing with straight cis-dudes. She just wants more homos (or gay folks, or lesbians, or queers, or however the individual chooses to identify) in her climbing life and that shouldn't be hard to understand. Sometimes women want to climb with other women, sometimes queers with other queers. That's just how it goes and the straight cis-dudes need to stop feeling excluded. If you need a better explanation check out the Shelma Jun enormocast. She very eloquently explains why women want to climb with other women. This same argument could be true for queers. . 

Aleks Zebastian · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 175
Hobo Greg wrote:

Maybe you can try speaking up instead of removing the people that are different than you.

climbing friend,

No.

This is inappropriate, yes?

It is quite alright if someone they are looking for partner of belay other than you.

all your flash are belong to me.

Adrienne DiRosario · · Troy, NY · Joined Jan 2016 · Points: 0

There's another thread on here suggesting a women's only forum. The responses here are exactly why. She's looking for a gay partner. That doesn't require comments from the peanut gallery. 

Tradiban · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2004 · Points: 11,360

Jesus. If you are a homophobic asshole you need to shut the fuck up. 

She's looking for a gay person to climb with and her motivations are none of your business. 

Russ Keane · · Asheville, NC · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 150

Courageous, and also practical.  Why the hell not?  I seek climbers who are dog-lovers.  It just makes for a better day when you have things in common.

beensandbagged · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2013 · Points: 10
Tradiban wrote:

Jesus. If you are a homophobic asshole you need to shut the fuck up. 

She's looking for a gay person to climb with and her motivations are none of your business. 

Oh look he's not a troll...........

frank minunni · · Las Vegas, NV · Joined May 2011 · Points: 92
sara pax wrote:

She just wants more homos in her climbing life and that shouldn't be hard to understand.

Homos?...Really?  You've got to be kidding.

rafael · · Berkeley, CA · Joined Jul 2009 · Points: 50
Adrienne DiRosario wrote:

There's another thread on here suggesting a women's only forum. The responses here are exactly why. She's looking for a gay partner. That doesn't require comments from the peanut gallery. 

kapow.

Although, trying to find out why a gay person would want to find other LGBTQ to climb with is a valid question. If people dont understand why queer people feel excluded and want to find people with shared experiences, its good to inform them.

But criticizing people for trying to find people they might get along with is def out of control

sara pax · · western mass · Joined Jun 2013 · Points: 216
frank minunni wrote:

Homos?...Really?  You've got to be kidding.

I should've taken my audience into account before using that word. It's a term of endearment used by some, not all, within the lgbtq community. Obviously it's use is not being taken the way I intended and it has detracted from my argument. Sorry if I confused or offended anyone. 

Bill Kirby · · Baltimore Maryland · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480
sara pax wrote:

I should've taken my audience into account before using that word. It's a term of endearment used by some, not all, within the lgbtq community. Obviously it's use is not being taken the way I intended and it has detracted from my argument. Sorry if I confused or offended anyone. 

Well duh! Your audience can’t figure out how to respect women. How can you except them to have any friendship or even interaction with the gay community. smh 

frank minunni · · Las Vegas, NV · Joined May 2011 · Points: 92

How are you Bill.  I hope you're not referring to me.  I lived in the West Village for years in NYC and I had a brother I loved dearly who died of AIDS way too young.  The term home is often used as a pejorative. I've rarely heard it any other way.

Bill Kirby · · Baltimore Maryland · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480
frank minunni wrote:

How are you Bill.  I hope you're not referring to me.  I lived in the West Village for years in NYC and I had a brother I loved dearly who died of AIDS way too young.  The term home is often used as a pejorative. I've rarely heard it any other way.

 I’m doing pretty good even though the rain washed all the ice away today. Thinking positive and fingers crossed though.

 I was referring to everybody on here lately. That includes you. I’m surprised you have never come across a gay person freely using derogatory or homophobic slang. It’s kinda like black people using the N word. I never get a straight answer from either friend that’s gay ot black. I guess it’s way turn the tables on the haters using those words. If you called me a mick or a Indian giver I would wanna punch you in the face.

 Apologies I offended you. I guess it’s cause you’re old not because you’ve never been around gay people :)

that guy named seb · · Britland · Joined Oct 2015 · Points: 205
Tradiban wrote:

Jesus. If you are a homophobic asshole you need to shut the fuck up. 

She's looking for a gay person to climb with and her motivations are none of your business. 

Asking for someones reasoning behind something when posted on a public forum is standard protocol 99% of the time and if it was really such a sensitive topic the person can simply say so, I can't say i have ever felt the need to seek out fellow bisexual people so even the thought of specifically searching them out to just climb with seems odd and even discriminatory for climbing.

john l. · · Westchester, NY · Joined May 2012 · Points: 475
sara pax wrote:

I should've taken my audience into account before using that word. It's a term of endearment used by some, not all, within the lgbtq community. Obviously it's use is not being taken the way I intended and it has detracted from my argument. Sorry if I confused or offended anyone. 

Dumb question, but is it like the n-word where only other LGBTQ can use endearingly?

Adrienne DiRosario · · Troy, NY · Joined Jan 2016 · Points: 0
john l. wrote:

Dumb question, but is it like the n-word where only other LGBTQ can use endearingly?

Yes

Ira O · · Hardwick, VT · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 25

I think the technical term is "Prideful Reappropriation"... 

Amanda Rose · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2017 · Points: 0
Hobo Greg wrote:

Maybe you can try speaking up instead of removing the people that are different than you.

because speaking up has worked so well for me on mtn proj... 

Amanda Rose · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2017 · Points: 0
that guy named seb wrote:

Asking for someones reasoning behind something when posted on a public forum is standard protocol 99% of the time and if it was really such a sensitive topic the person can simply say so, I can't say i have ever felt the need to seek out fellow bisexual people so even the thought of specifically searching them out to just climb with seems odd and even discriminatory for climbing.

being non-marginalized means always feeling included. Since straight/cis/white dudes always belong, the minute you say “No” or “not you please,” they start to kick up a ruckus. In a way, I get it. When you see yourself everywhere, you start to take that privilege for granted. Everyone looks like you, your belay partners look like you. The Climbers you read about and see online are like you. Heck, you even get to talk about your significant others with your family members! When you belong everywhere, you forget other people have different experiences. Some people don’t belong in daily life and climbing is the place to overcome that feeling, connect to nature, your friends, and your best self. 

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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