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How would you climb these border walls?


Original Post
Evan Deis · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2009 · Points: 154

Here's the NY Times Writeup on the border-wall prototypes.  All politics aside, which do you think would take you the longest to get over?  Which one would you bypass lickety-split?  How would you do it?

Here's my ranking.

Fastest and cheapest:  I think #1 & #3 would go down pretty quickly.   I would "toss" a rope to the far side,  reach thru to grab the far end, tie it off to a bar, and ascend the rope.

Medium: A competent climber with a power drill could take the concrete versions in an hour or so.

Hard:  I'm not sure How I would climb #7, the blue wall.  I guess I would try to exploit a seam between two panels.

Let's put politics aside for the first 3 posts.

grog m aka Greg McKee · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 70

I would apply for a Visa and drive through the gate. 

MClay · · Estill County, KY · Joined Mar 2015 · Points: 710

Cheeky capitalistic troll: Move to Mexico, put holds, belay stations, and ropes up on one of the concrete ones, charge a nominal fee for the climbing fun. Not sure how harness and shoe rentals would work with this scheme though.

Tylerpratt · · Litchfield, Connecticut · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 35

I like 1 & 3 because they would just package the drugs to fit through the bars. I'll go with those as the overall winners.

Vaughn · · Colorado · Joined Mar 2011 · Points: 50

An extension ladder plus rope to rappel the other side.

Jim Titt · · Germany · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 490

Mexican Pole Vault record 5.82m. Next question.

Dead Head · · an asshole · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 65

Looks like the concrete ones have cracks in them, climb it like a crack and protect with cams.  Mexico will bolt the crack, and an ethics war would be started between  the U.S. and Mexico.  The worlds best climbers will be recuited to throw pitons, swing cams, shoot bolts with bolt guns, and use chalk as a gas agent.  When the dust settles, the boulderers will be free to wear their beanies, and go shirtless without the criticizm from both groups.  Eventually climbing will die out, and down climbing will be the new fringe activity, until it gains popularity and they build down-climbing gyms, and have athlete spotlights with titles called ¨finding down¨, or ¨Learning to up-climb"or some other bullshit.  A new competitor will emerge named tralex schronnold, and will free solo downclimb, and spark arguments about how free solo downclimbing is irresponsible, And a new website will be implanted in the brains of downclimbers called ¨Groundproject¨.  Because of the changing climate, humans will be forced to migrate to mars, and the lower gravity will be considered Aid.  The ¨real climbers will remain on earth and use computer satelite sciences to increase the gravity on mars, and another great war begins.

P.S. the author is deeply sorry, and regrets his decisions

Mark Says · · Aspen, CO · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 395

As with many Canadians, we're just interested in seeing how these preliminary trials go before finalizing an option to wall off the US.

Tapawingo Markey · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 75
Tylerpratt wrote:

I like 1 & 3 because they would just package the drugs to fit through the bars. I'll go with those as the overall winners.

That’s assuming you’re just trying to keep out drugs and not people (it’s “intended” purpose).

s.price · · the deck of Rover · Joined Dec 2010 · Points: 1,346
Marcus wrote:

As with many Canadians, we're just interested in seeing how these preliminary trials go before finalizing an option to wall off the US.

Canadians are too polite to build a wall. They are planting a privacy hedge and plan on hiring Mexicans to keep it looking good.

amarius · · Nowhere, OK · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 20
John Barritt · · OKC · Joined Oct 2016 · Points: 1,045
Tapawingo Markey wrote:

That’s assuming you’re just trying to keep our drugs and not people (it’s “intended” purpose).

He's trying to get drugs in...........not keep them out.......... ;)

Kemper Brightman · · Tucson · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 2,011

I would walk around the right or left side.

Mark Says · · Aspen, CO · Joined Jul 2017 · Points: 395
s.price wrote:

Canadians are too polite to build a wall. They are planting a privacy hedge and plan on hiring Mexicans to keep it looking good.

We could build a wall, we'd just apologize for it at the same time. 

ViperScale . · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2013 · Points: 240

Real question is when are they going to build the wall and keep the Canadians out.

5.Seven-Kevin · · Las Vegas · Joined Dec 2016 · Points: 0
ViperScale wrote:

While simultaneously living solely in the U.S.....


:^)

Tylerpratt · · Litchfield, Connecticut · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 35

Look at how narrow those are...like 1.5 cars and the prices are minimum 350k for ONE. What a dumb fuck idea this is. I'll look forward to the teardown Berlin wall style. Trumps a scumbag plain and simple. It takes a real dumb piece of shit to think this is a good idea. I hope someone quotes this before it gets deleted like 9/10 of my MountainVanillaProject posts.

I really do hope they go with the bars btw. ;)

Kris Fiore · · Burlington, VT · Joined Sep 2014 · Points: 1,720

BrokenChairs BrettC · · Sultan, WA · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 235

I would use Viserion. 

John Barritt · · OKC · Joined Oct 2016 · Points: 1,045

Think like a Mexican...... ;)

s.price · · the deck of Rover · Joined Dec 2010 · Points: 1,346

On a side note.... Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett are standing on the wall of the Alamo watching the Mexican troops advance.

Jim looks at Davy and asks, "Did you order concrete?"

It's a fact. Nobody does concrete like our brothers from the south :)

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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