I suck balls as a climber, but it isn't my fault because....


Original Post
Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 120

...Because:

I am old,

I am shorter than some skateboards, 

I only resemble Lynn Hill* in my shortness and femaleness and no useful characteristics and,

my (still too fat) lazy ass would rather be eating ice cream.

I have been told I use these excuses too often, so, clearly, it is time to crowd source some new ones.

Besides it's over 100 here and trolling MP at least ties with watching the lawn die.

Best, OLH

* She's taller. Lots.

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 15

"Because I can't find partners."

"Because when I can't find a partner, I'm too lazy to learn how to top rope solo."

"Because Iit's easier to talk about climbing, than to actually climb."

Hope this helps.

Firestone · · California · Joined Nov 2015 · Points: 449

Because....

...that route was way sandbagged.

...that route wasn't my style.

...my belayer didn't keep the rope tight enough.

David Hous · · Boulder, Colorado · Joined Nov 2001 · Points: 175

"gravity surges follow me around"

"when I lead the rope drag keeps pulling my harness down around my knees"

"I could pull those roof moves if only they were on a slab" (used that one earlier today)

I've been climbing long enough now (44 years) that my skills are steadily declining at this point. Even though I'm starting to suck I have no desire to quit.

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 0
David Hous wrote:

I've been climbing long enough now (44 years) that my skills are steadily declining at this point. Even though I'm starting to suck I have no desire to quit.

Same here. The cool thing is 5.10 is getting challenging again.

Tyler Metheney · · St Louis · Joined Sep 2016 · Points: 0

Because

1."If I was better rested I totally could have red pointed it"

2. "My shoulder is still injured man"

3. "The route bruh, it's just too dirty"

Nick Thomas · · Fargo, ND · Joined Nov 2016 · Points: 30

It was choss anyway.

Aleks Zebastian · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 0

...

the balls they are too big, I cannot get off ground.

Jason Todd · · Cody, WY · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 673

Because...  

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Oh wait it is my fault...

Eric Laursen · · Roseville, CA · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 10

- Arthritis hold me back

- I have more gear than time

- It's the shoes

- I didn't sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night

Scott Baird · · Hagerstown, MD · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 80

Because....

I bit the fingers off my right hand.

Finger cracks are mean to me.

TBlom · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2004 · Points: 95

Just about sums it up...

 

mountainhick · · Black Hawk, CO · Joined Mar 2009 · Points: 60

How much self loathing is necessary to be a good climber?

Aleks Zebastian · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 0
mountainhick wrote:

How much self loathing is necessary to be a good climber?

climbing friend,

more than you are possibly imagining, also fragile ego can never be satisfied, unstable personality of addiction, willing to sacrifice career, relationship and other, ability for development of eating disorder, strong necessary to go proving yourself on others and on your rocks so that you may briefly obtain illusion of identity to cling to and/or self worth. Drive your massive van burning hydrocarbons several hundred miles on road trip to "enjoy nature," endlessly flog you finger on board of max hang crushing, also with the angry campusing max strength 4 week quadrupling. your rope and shoe and gears it is made in china most likely by the children, possibly dumping toxic chemicals into the river.

ViperScale · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2013 · Points: 165

...it was a high gravity day.

Lee Green · · Edmonton, Alberta · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 50
Marc801 C wrote:

Same here. The cool thing is 5.10 is getting challenging again.

I didn't start until I was 53, so no "again" for me ;-)

I get the "not bad for a geezer" excuse. Don't even have to say it, those around me do it for me. Sigh.

Robert Michael · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Aug 2014 · Points: 101

It's  the climber's elbow. Without it, I know I'd be onsighting 5 .14.

Cory Furrow · · Blacksburg, VA · Joined Jun 2016 · Points: 0

Would have to pack out too many used depends 

Need new glasses to see which end is the climber end

Hearing aids are failing.  So...  I can't hear when I'm on belay

Chad Miller · · Grand Junction, CO · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 0

An old gunshot wound

An extra joint in my left acromian

A pissed off sesmoid bone in my right foot

The islets of langethauns on my pancreas suck

My thyroid has a learning disorder 

r m · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2015 · Points: 0

- Weakness of will

- By extension, weakness of body

wivanoff · · Northeast, USA · Joined Mar 2012 · Points: 392
David Hous wrote:

I've been climbing long enough now (44 years) that my skills are steadily declining at this point. Even though I'm starting to suck I have no desire to quit.

Me too. Since 1972.   Arthritis. Two heart surgeries. Struggle on 5.10. 

Still having fun, though. And, opposite of my time as a n00b, my technical knowledge exceeds my physical ability. Funny thing is, a lot of the hot shot kids who climb harder then me think there is nothing I can show them. 

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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