What are the real climbing deal breakers?


Original Post
Mark E Dixon · · Sprezzatura, Someday · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 549

Honestly, i couldn't care less if my partner is convicted of disposing of smoldering or lit material in a manner to create a public safety hazard. Even in JTree.

And if someone is offended by my manpris, get over it.

But if you insist on arranging climbing plans on the telephone, forget it! What is this, the dark ages? Text, or if you can't manage that, at least email. Seriously...

Likewise, don't give me this "maybe I can go on Thursday" stuff. 

If I'm looking for a partner for July 18th, 2021, I want a commitment, even if it means quitting your job or skipping/delegating the birth of your first child. 

Priorities people! Sheesh.

Jake Jones · · Richmond, VA · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 1,440

Hear, hear!

 I have a few CDBs:

Being flaky:  If I can't count on you to do what you say you're going to, and be able to plan a week or even a few days in advance, you get scratched form the list pretty quick.

Bad belaying:  Self explanatory.  It's both sad to me and refreshing to my partners that my belaying is far more impressive than my climbing.  But there it is.

Being a tool/spraying/general macho weirdness:  This is why I like female climbing partners.  I don't have to be best friends with my partners, but I am good friends on a personal level with all current and past partners- except one ex wife and one ex gf- for obvious reasons.  There's nothing worse than inviting someone into the fold only to find out they literally measure their penis, voted for Trump, were hiding dogmatic conservatism and sexism behind the mullet that was tucked behind their collar.

Anyone that is full of shit: I truly don't care if your leg shakes on 5.7 bolted routes.  As long as you're psyched and interested in pushing yourself, you're ok in my book.  But FFS don't lie about shit.

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 275

What's wrong with using the telephone, Mark? That is a useful tool. Sheesh - you kids. :)

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 265
FrankPS wrote:

What's wrong with using the telephone, Mark? That is a useful tool. Sheesh - you kids. :)

They'd overhear him wasting time in the office, Frank. Sheesh. Get with it, old man.

Charlie S · · Ogden, UT · Joined Aug 2007 · Points: 1,448

If you can afford that climbing rack, gym membership, and those expensive La Sportiva shoes for crushing V2 in the gym...you can afford deodorant.

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 265

Mark, I'll put 2021 on my calendar. You flying me to Italy for that???

Partners, the lack of. Jussssst not happening.

:-(

Peter Brown-Whale · · Randallstown, MD · Joined Aug 2014 · Points: 20

Big one for me is showing up late

Gunkiemike · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2009 · Points: 2,740
Peter Brown-Whale wrote:

Big one for me is showing up late

Or worse - not at all.  "Oh, I forget to tell you... I can't make it."  Grrr!

Jack Servedio · · Raleigh,NC · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 30

Lack of patience or sense of humor. If you get pissed getting lost on an approach or having to schwack a bit or freak out because of a rope stuck on pull or whine all the way home because we had to rap one pitch from the top when it started raining on desert sandstone - that's a deal breaker.

20 kN · · Hawaii · Joined Feb 2009 · Points: 1,348

My largest complaintis making plans, failing to show and texting five hours after we were supposed to meet up to say you decided to run chores instead. 

aikibujin · · Castle Rock, CO · Joined Oct 2014 · Points: 290

Since I'm a family man, it's hard to change plans and find last minute partners, so flakiness is a big no no. But I do give people the benefit of doubt, sometimes shit happens. So I use a three strike rule: flake on me three times and you're out. I also appreciate partners who makes an effort to climb with me, and I will do the same in return. If I ask someone to go climbing and they are like, "ummm, I think I'll go biking." Three strikes of that and they're out too. Communication is huge, I don't care about the method as much, we can use smoke signals if they prefer that, but prompt reply is much appreciated. In this day and age of smart phones and watches and pretty soon brain implants to read your text messages telepathically, there is no reason a reply should take more than 12 hours.

Lena chita · · Cleveland, OH · Joined Mar 2011 · Points: 240

Untrustworthy belayer is self-explanatory.

Last-minute-decision-making is pretty high up on the list for me. I need to make plans in advance, because there are a lot of things on my plate, I can't be like, hey, let's go on a two-week-trip this Friday.

Indecisiveness kinda sucks, too. "Where do you want to go? Oh, I don't know, anywhere. You pick."--because then it means that I have to do some creative guessing based on what I know of the person's climbing ability, and style preferences. It doesn't REALLY mean that i pick where *I* want to go, because I know they don't mean that they would be happy to just go to the crag where I have my project, and there is nothing for them to climb, and just belay me all day. I would much rather have my day/your day split with someone whose climbing ability is very different from mine, but who knows what they want to do, than try to guess what the other person wants to do and what would be a decent place for both of us, on every climbing day.

In the same vein, if we are going to the location where neither one of us have been before, I hate the partners who wouldn't do some research, look at the guidebook ahead of time and pick areas that sound good to them. Yes, I know, it is all new to us, and we don't really know... But heck, make an educated guess! I'm not your travel agent. Why do I have to be the person researching where to stay, what are the nearby food options, what are the must-do classics for the area, what are the rest day options, and so on?

Boring is very subjective, but is kinda on the list, too. I spend a lot of time with this person. If we have nothing to talk about on a long drive, or while resting, it gets tedious. I would still climb with this person, but only if all other options failed.

Smoking... hate the smell!

aikibujin · · Castle Rock, CO · Joined Oct 2014 · Points: 290
Lena chita wrote:

Indecisiveness kinda sucks, too. "Where do you want to go? Oh, I don't know, anywhere. You pick."--because then it means that I have to do some creative guessing based on what I know of the person's climbing ability, and style preferences. It doesn't REALLY mean that i pick where *I* want to go, because I know they don't mean that they would be happy to just go to the crag where I have my project, and there is nothing for them to climb, and just belay me all day. I would much rather have my day/your day split with someone whose climbing ability is very different from mine, but who knows what they want to do, than try to guess what the other person wants to do and what would be a decent place for both of us, on every climbing day.

Well I don't know, I've been pretty happy belaying my partner on their project all day, and maybe beat myself up a few times by falling all over their warm ups. Sometimes it can be hard to find one crag with routes to fit two climbers of hugely different skill levels. Instead of bringing them down to my level, I just see it as a chance to learn and to get inspired to watch someone climb a route I may never be able to get on.

John John · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2017 · Points: 0

I get a little upset when my climbing partners bring the butt plug. Though it does relieve the pressure when I pucker up some times. 

20 kN · · Hawaii · Joined Feb 2009 · Points: 1,348
aikibujin wrote:

 But I do give people the benefit of doubt, sometimes shit happens. So I use a three strike rule: flake on me three times and you're out. 

That's two more than me. I am fine with someone bailing for legit, understandable reasons. However, bailing because they decided to go surfing instead without even bothering to tell you they arnt showing up actually means that they dont give a shit about you or commitments they made with you and there is no logical reason to believe that the future would be any different than the past. Thus, no need to give more than once chance for that type of crap.

Lena chita · · Cleveland, OH · Joined Mar 2011 · Points: 240
aikibujin wrote:

Well I don't know, I've been pretty happy belaying my partner on their project all day, and maybe beat myself up a few times by falling all over their warm ups. Sometimes it can be hard to find one crag with routes to fit two climbers of hugely different skill levels. Instead of bringing them down to my level, I just see it as a chance to learn and to get inspired to watch someone climb a route I may never be able to get on.

That's what I mean by my day/ his day. I am perfectly happy to go to a crag of my choice one day, and a crag of my partner's choice the other day, regardless of whether there is much for me to climb there. What I am NOT happy about is being solely in charge of where we are going on all days, and trying to keep the other person happy while they don't give me clear indication of what they want/need in order to feel happy.

Jake Jones · · Richmond, VA · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 1,440
Lena chita wrote:

That's what I mean by my day/ his day. I am perfectly happy to go to a crag of my choice one day, and a crag of my partner's choice the other day, regardless of whether there is much for me to climb there. What I am NOT happy about is being solely in charge of where we are going on all days, and trying to keep the other person happy while they don't give me clear indication of what they want/need in order to feel happy.

Yep.  This too.  Happens all the time.

june m · · elmore ,vt · Joined Jun 2011 · Points: 43

Being  late. I have a 20  minute  rule, I dont wait   any longer , then  I climb  or  ski solo

KennyJoe Sabine · · zOmBiE = from = OUTER-SPACE · Joined Jul 2013 · Points: 230

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Alex Bury · · Ojai, CA · Joined Jun 2012 · Points: 1,948

To borrow one from the actual article...the thong PAS comes pretty damn close to a real life deal breaker.

ryan mattock · · calabasas Ca · Joined Jan 2008 · Points: 440

90% of climbing is mostly going out solo.. 90% people are busy..

I work too much to climb much as I want.. when the surf is up forget  about me climbing..

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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