Do NOT move to my town, fools, just suck it up and go to Boulder!!! (March 17th shenanigans)


Original Post
Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 265

Everyone knows Colorado is the only place in the world with real climbers, and Boulder is the only spot worth living, so just GO.

Stop bothering the rest of us, fish deep in your pockets for those balls you thought you had, and get on with it.

Besides, my state sucks big-time for climbers, and is dangerous to boot.

Flat as a pancake, nothing but corn.

In town, desperate rodents eat peaches off trees, lawn furniture in the winter, and while any fool can open, concealed, whatever, carry anything, you cain't actually shoot the dang things without too much excitement.

So. Man up, boys!

Helenor O'Baileys (on the rocks, and keep them coming)

Don't be forgetting to keep the blarney stoked and ye piss green!

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 265

PLAGUE!! I forgot! The varmints carry plague! and them no nothing biologist types refuse to unintroduce them! Even though they is more dangerous than Bart the Bear up there in that other state!

Morgan Patterson · · CT · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 8,752

Prob should forgo the booze in your coffee for a lil' while ;-)

Sean Peter · · IL · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 40
Morgan Patterson wrote:Prob should forgo the booze in your coffee for a lil' while ;-)
Noon. I think the rule is don't start drinking till after 12 noon. And don't wear white after Labor Day.
C Ross · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2016 · Points: 105

Corn? I thought you guys only had potatoes?

I agree move to boulder. The rest of Colorado is scary and infested with fanatic religious tea partiers.

Jason Todd · · Cody, WY · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 958
Sean Peter wrote:I think the rule is don't start drinking till after 12 noon.
You can't drink all day, if you don't start in the morning.
Michael Schneider · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 735
Old lady H wrote:Everyone knows Colorado is the only place in the world with real climbers, and Boulder is the only spot worth living, so just GO. Stop bothering the rest of us, fish deep in your pockets for those balls you thought you had, and get on with it. Besides, my state sucks big-time for climbers, and is dangerous to boot. Flat as a pancake, nothing but corn. In town, desperate rodents eat peaches off trees, lawn furniture in the winter, and while any fool can open, concealed, whatever, carry anything, you cain't actually shoot the dang things without too much excitement. So. Man up, boys! Helenor O'Baileys (on the rocks, and keep them coming) Don't be forgetting to keep the blarney stoked and ye piss green!
What means this !?
Has the veritable No0ß already seen the spoiled light?
It's True ! ( thus, ya' are a no0ß no more!/;*7)
There is no spot that glows more bright
For every climber
than the light that shines over Boulder!

Have a happy dry St Patrick's Day and lest we forget
The vibe won't be bested
We can and do party right !
Old Age ? It's just a number !
Right!
https://youtu.be/ZcLpNP8jwRo

Harder still !

https://youtu.be/D7g3RuoreRc
Seth Jones · · New Lenox, IL · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 25
Sean Peter wrote: Noon. I think the rule is don't start drinking till after 12 noon.
Agreed. Unless I eat lunch before noon, in which case I think a lunch beer is acceptable. Come to think about it, I seem to eat an early lunch way more often since I started that rule...
FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 275
Old lady H wrote:Everyone knows Colorado is the only place in the world with real climbers, and Boulder is the only spot worth living, so just GO. Stop bothering the rest of us, fish deep in your pockets for those balls you thought you had, and get on with it. Besides, my state sucks big-time for climbers, and is dangerous to boot. Flat as a pancake, nothing but corn. In town, desperate rodents eat peaches off trees, lawn furniture in the winter, and while any fool can open, concealed, whatever, carry anything, you cain't actually shoot the dang things without too much excitement. So. Man up, boys! Helenor O'Baileys (on the rocks, and keep them coming) Don't be forgetting to keep the blarney stoked and ye piss green!
Helen, are you TWD (typing while drunk) again?
wendy weiss · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 30

Ignore Helen. Boise is paradise and Helen just wants to keep it all for herself and a few elitist friends.

Everyone knows that Boulder is the absolutely worst place to live. Like Boise, we have plague-ridden prairie dogs, which we treat better than homeless people. Moreover, coyotes, bears, and mountain lions roam our streets and eat our cats and rat-dogs.

As everyone knows by now, housing is completely unaffordable. It's equally well-known that the locals are arrogant health Nazis and that anyone who moves to Boulder acquires all their undesirable attitudes within a matter of weeks, if not hours. The restaurants serve only vegan, gluten-free food. And we've now enacted a tax on all sweetened drinks -- that means you too, Gatorade.

All the crags are too crowded to climb on. The gyms are crowded with shirtless men and people of both sexes showing off how honed they are in garish lycra.

And, finally, everyone who lives here whines continuously about what a crappy place it is and how everyone else is an asshole. Avoid this cesspool and head for Idaho.

Andrew Ryder · · Arizony · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 3,800

Can't tell who's being sarcastic, my brain function is already slowing down; it's about to hit 95 in the middle of March. I get woken up every night by gangs of crotch rocketeers roving the streets. The granite's too sharp and the gneiss is too slick, and all the plants are covered in some kind of needle, blade, or poisonous residue. If the heat don't kill ya, the water might (either too little, or too much.) Traffic is nuts and the job market sucks. Why the hell did I come back here? Must have been the tacos.

Nick Sweeney · · Spokane, WA · Joined Jun 2013 · Points: 650

Another great MP topic, lots of quality content here!

King Tut · · Citrus Heights · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 420

mmmmmmm.....lycra. Ima move to Boulder....

BigB · · Red Rock, NV · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 340

you can always move to Vega$, seems we take all cummers....just walk down the "strip" after dark and you'll see

Scott McMahon · · Boulder, CO · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,425

Sorry...Boulder's full. We actually just gave away the LAST spot.

Scott McMahon · · Boulder, CO · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 1,425
wendy weiss wrote:Ignore Helen. Boise is paradise and Helen just wants to keep it all for herself and a few elitist friends. Everyone knows that Boulder is the absolutely worst place to live. Like Boise, we have plague-ridden prairie dogs, which we treat better than homeless people. Moreover, coyotes, bears, and mountain lions roam our streets and eat our cats and rat-dogs. As everyone knows by now, housing is completely unaffordable. It's equally well-known that the locals are arrogant health Nazis and that anyone who moves to Boulder acquires all their undesirable attitudes within a matter of weeks, if not hours. The restaurants serve only vegan, gluten-free food. And we've now enacted a tax on all sweetened drinks -- that means you too, Gatorade. All the crags are too crowded to climb on. The gyms are crowded with shirtless men and people of both sexes showing off how honed they are in garish lycra. And, finally, everyone who lives here whines continuously about what a crappy place it is and how everyone else is an asshole. Avoid this cesspool and head for Idaho.
Yep...that about sums it up.
Kyle Tarry · · Portland, OR · Joined Mar 2015 · Points: 162
Nick Sweeney wrote:Another great MP topic, lots of quality content here!
"I wonder why this forum is going to hell" -Nobody with a brain, ever
Eric Carlos · · Chattanooga, TN · Joined Aug 2008 · Points: 40

In honor of this post, and St Patrick's Day....How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

NONE!

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 265
wendy weiss wrote:Ignore Helen. Boise is paradise and Helen just wants to keep it all for herself and a few elitist friends. Everyone knows that Boulder is the absolutely worst place to live. Like Boise, we have plague-ridden prairie dogs, which we treat better than homeless people. Moreover, coyotes, bears, and mountain lions roam our streets and eat our cats and rat-dogs. As everyone knows by now, housing is completely unaffordable. It's equally well-known that the locals are arrogant health Nazis and that anyone who moves to Boulder acquires all their undesirable attitudes within a matter of weeks, if not hours. The restaurants serve only vegan, gluten-free food. And we've now enacted a tax on all sweetened drinks -- that means you too, Gatorade. All the crags are too crowded to climb on. The gyms are crowded with shirtless men and people of both sexes showing off how honed they are in garish lycra. And, finally, everyone who lives here whines continuously about what a crappy place it is and how everyone else is an asshole. Avoid this cesspool and head for Idaho.
Wendy, you back to sniffin the lacquer thinner again? How 70s...
Morgan Patterson · · CT · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 8,752
Eric Carlos wrote:In honor of this post, and St Patrick's Day....How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? NONE!
lol
wendy weiss · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 30
Old lady H wrote: Wendy, you back to sniffin the lacquer thinner again? How 70s...
I'm not 70 yet, Helen. 5 months still to go. ;-)
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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