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Geriatric Climbing Gear


Original Post
Mike Hasse · · Norwich, VT · Joined Nov 2010 · Points: 365

My Old Man is turning 60 soon and I was hoping to get him a climbing related gag-gift. Does anybody have any ideas for geriatric related climbing gear? He's still a serious mountaineer, though moving to Texas left him with more miles on his road bike than in his harness so he's a bit bottom-heavy. Any thoughts?

The dad in question: still crushing bulletproof AK ice
A. Wayne · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2016 · Points: 0


Great for those who can no longer squat on a rock
Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 290

"Outfit" him from the hardware store, hank of yellow nylon rope, "carabineers", chalk, passive pro (nuts), etc., all useless for climbing, but then pack it in a really nice pack or rope bag.

RKM · · Alpine, Utah and Almo, Idaho · Joined Mar 2007 · Points: 1,440

Upgrade him from the swami belt to a Whillan's. After he figures out how to get into it, it will seem new and exciting. And, careful how you use the words 'old man' and 'geriatric' for only 60.

Bill M · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Jun 2010 · Points: 321

I would put together a "first aid kit", with some Goody Powders, Advil, melatonin and benadryl for those bivys. Maybe some Metamucil.

RobC2 Cotter · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2009 · Points: 240

Buy your "old man" an excellent bottle of single malt scotch in observance of his exceptional patience in rearing you..,

Climb Germany · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2015 · Points: 2,525

How about an adult diaper that's rated as a harness too? Or at least buy some adult depends and rig it to look like a harness or something. He oughta get a kick outa that

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 290
SwabianAmi wrote:How about an adult diaper that's rated as a harness too? Or at least buy some adult depends and rig it to look like a harness or something. He oughta get a kick outa that
No.
Walter Edly · · Thomasville NC · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 10

Forget the gift and get out climbing anywhere. After a certain point gifts and money are irrelevant. Time is the sacred item. Once spent, you never get it back.

Mike Hasse · · Norwich, VT · Joined Nov 2010 · Points: 365

Thanks guys, there are some good ideas in here. And I feel I should make it clear that this is definitely a joke...he still kicks my ass at most things climbing.

Johnny Kipp · · St Albert Alberta · Joined Aug 2016 · Points: 100

Ok, dumb question. Where do you find that popup crapper? I have a wife and two preteen daughters who don't like hiking an hour into the bush without "options".

A. Wayne · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2016 · Points: 0
Johnny Kipp wrote:Ok, dumb question. Where do you find that popup crapper? I have a wife and two preteen daughters who don't like hiking an hour into the bush without "options".
REI has a variety of options under: Camping and Hiking >> Health and Safety
Doug Meneke · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 10

a package a tighty-whities and a bottle of white-out.
the diaper thing, but YOU wear it (the whole family).
get some screw-in dog anchors, line the sidewalk with them, use real gear and clip in...make him follow.

make a spoof collage of his climbing pics...have him climbing the bathroom walls and some stairs or something.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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