reducing the naughty crotch bulge


Original Post
Aleks Zebastian · Aug 10, 2016 · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 0
climbing friend,

may you share your strategies most best for reducing unwanted harness-caused naughty crotch bulge?

do you wear the shorts or lightweight breathable pants and expose your belayer to your naughty bulging package as you lower, with garments drawn tight over crotch?

do you wear the jeans no matter how hot it is in order to utilize the stiffer jean material to dampen your naughty-harness-crotch-bulge effect?

is this also a problem for climber of female type?

David Lyons · Aug 10, 2016 · Forest Falls, CA · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 95
proper utilization of the Metolius Wicking Belt Sander will keep that in check.

Brian Matusiewicz · Aug 10, 2016 · Bridgewater · Joined Dec 2015 · Points: 0
Just embrace it!
I think it's something most just accept as unavoidable. As far as I can tell women pay no mind to our bulge. Most of the girls I climb with wear tights so no bulge for them. I'm sure if they wore baggier pants they would have a similar effect.

highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion · Aug 10, 2016 · Colorado · Joined Oct 2012 · Points: 0
About 10 years ago at rnj south saw a father and son, both sporting 2 pairs of shorts. The outside pair had a slit to tie in and belay through. He probably wears the same shorts making love.

Abram Herman · Aug 10, 2016 · Golden, CO · Joined May 2009 · Points: 0
Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.

Darren Mabe · Aug 10, 2016 · Flagstaff, AZ · Joined Dec 2002 · Points: 2,860
Wish i had that problem

amarius · Aug 10, 2016 · Nowhere, OK · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 0
Abram Herman wrote:Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.
I don't have the need, but a friend had excellent results with sticking a pair of chalk socks filled with "Unicorn Dust". He insisted that only the Unicorn Dust makes multiple red points possible.

David Gibbs · Aug 10, 2016 · Ottawa, ON · Joined Aug 2010 · Points: 6
Abram Herman wrote:Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.
When you change into your climbing shoes, after taking your socks off, instead of setting them aside, stuff them into your shorts.

Muscrat · Aug 10, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2011 · Points: 3,040
Abram Herman wrote:Don't mean to hijack your thread Aleks, but can anyone share any strategies for *increasing* the harness-induced crotch bulge? Asking for a friend.
I keep my nuts in my pants...

simplyput · Aug 10, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2013 · Points: 0
Aleks Zebastian wrote:climbing friend, may you share your strategies most best for reducing unwanted harness-caused naughty crotch bulge?
DuctTape.
Source: I grew up in San Francisco.

Aleks Zebastian · Aug 10, 2016 · Boulder, CO · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 0
simplyput wrote: DuctTape. Source: I grew up in San Francisco.
climbing friend,

ho ho!

ha ha!

sounds quite painful?

myah!

Alex Rogers · Aug 10, 2016 · Sydney, Australia · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 15
To avoid harness-caused crotch bulge - avoid harness altogether.


scott fuzz · Aug 10, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 0
If the bulge lasts for more than 4 hrs, call a doctor ( single pitch only) -

Christopher Gibson · Aug 10, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 0
As seen in Golf Digest, what is it with golfers.

Guy Keesee · Aug 10, 2016 · Moorpark, CA · Joined Mar 2008 · Points: 105
Aleks.... you might wish to sport a "cod piece"....popular a few centuries back.

Gunkiemike · Aug 10, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2009 · Points: 1,855
I suggest the prolonged application of ice. Shrinkage, ya know.

Ice makes all swelling go away.

Stich · Aug 10, 2016 · Colorado Springs, Colorado · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 1,230
Aleks, have you ever heard that King Missle song Detachable Penis?

Old lady H · Aug 10, 2016 · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 40
Nope. We do not look, never ever. Just ignore that stifled laughter and the tears running down our face. Means nothing.

Carry on.

Mark E Dixon · Aug 10, 2016 · Sprezzatura, Someday · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 234
Stich wrote:Aleks, have you ever heard that King Missle song Detachable Penis?
It's a classic song, even though it makes me feel like less of a man...


Phil Sakievich · Aug 10, 2016 · Tempe, AZ · Joined Aug 2014 · Points: 30
highaltitudeflatulentexpulsion wrote:About 10 years ago at rnj south saw a father and son, both sporting 2 pairs of shorts. The outside pair had a slit to tie in and belay through. He probably wears the same shorts making love.
Haha! Seriously laughed for a good minute after this mental picture.

Gunkiemike · Aug 11, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2009 · Points: 1,855
psakievich wrote: Haha! Seriously laughed for a good minute after this mental picture.
That could very well be a religious thing. I went out with a group of some unknown-to-me fundamental/orthodox sect, and the women all had dresses over the harnesses. Black biker shorts underneath.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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