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The Best Route Names


John Byrnes · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 577

Oh, I forgot a route in Thailand (I think):

Tufa King Pumped

Erick Valler · · flat midwest · Joined Feb 2011 · Points: 15

Can I Do it 'till I Need Glasses? - NRG

nbollier · · Portland, Oregon · Joined Apr 2016 · Points: 45

Marsha Gets Creamed - Bradyism Wall in Spearfish Canyon SD gets my vote. It's description Here is golden as well; "A wet dream come true for the beginning five ten climber! Just like Marsha, this route is tall, blonde and has sweet jugs..."

ryan albery · · van world · Joined Mar 2009 · Points: 290

Steep Climb Named Desire
Beyond a Shadow of a Route
The Boltzmann Constant
Big G
The Uncertainty Principle

And most definitely the Becky Route.

Kiley Borrevik · · Redmond · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 0

One in the Frenchman Coulee in Washington called "Menstrating Whale Snatch".

CRAG-list-KILLA · · Wisconsin · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 205

Just climbed: pussy galore's flying circus-Devils lake WI

Steve Skarvinko · · SLC, UT · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 25

"Testicle Fortitude" 

Jake Jones · · Richmond, VA · Joined Jul 2011 · Points: 1,644

Almost any route name by Doug Reed.

s.price · · the deck of Rover or Pagosa… · Joined Dec 2010 · Points: 1,346

Become the Problem. A V9 highball south of Pagosa Springs.

Jim Clarke · · Cottonwood Heights, UT · Joined Jun 2009 · Points: 76

"Hot Venom Injection Arete" - Uintas, UT

All Time Favorite & Best I've ever heard: "I PROMISE NOT TO CAM IN YOUR MOUTH"...St. Vrain Canyon, CO...

Dan Knisell · · Townsend, MA · Joined Jun 2016 · Points: 2,599

The Compactor on the Trash Can boulder in Ayer, MA. Classic V9 compression problem by the old landfill in town. Burt Gives Blow Jobs at Pawtuckaway. 

Brian · · North Kingstown, RI · Joined Sep 2001 · Points: 680

Swinging Cunt -- Millbrook, the Gunks
Gneiss Jugs -- Ross Rocks, CT
Tough Schist -- High Ledge, CT

Tyler Hagen · · Seattle, WA · Joined Jun 2012 · Points: 0

Rodney's Chocolate Frosted Love Donut - Smith Rocks

Adam Eisenbarth · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2015 · Points: 10

If anyone ever gets a FA on a crimpy route, a good name would be, Diary of a Crimpy Kid.

DanielHart · · Carpinteria ca · Joined Dec 2016 · Points: 5
Tavis Ricksecker wrote: Dangerous Lesion (JTree) Heinous Anus (Jtree) Sphincter Quits (Jtree) Bottle in Front of Me (Jtree) Caught Inside on a Big Set (Jtree) Figures on a Landscape (Jtree) Boogers on a Lampshade (Jtree) Ass of Dog (Jtree) Room to Shroom (Jtree) Full Moon, Good Drugs (Indian Creek) Caqmping under the influence (Indian Creek) She Lives (Priest Draw)

Bottle in front of me should be followed by frontal lobotomy 

Jtree also has Hex marks the poot 
Ray Lovestead · · Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2008 · Points: 109

I just put up a new route (offwidth) and named it "Belly Full of Bad Dingleberries"

Jay Eggleston · · Denver · Joined Feb 2003 · Points: 18,703

The Young and the Rackless in Boulder Canyon

Andrew Child · · Santa Clara · Joined Sep 2015 · Points: 691

The Vulgar Goatman
https://www.mountainproject.com/route/108681302/the-vulgar-goatman

tenesmus · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2004 · Points: 2,370

I sounded cool when I was young. Now that I have some miles on my soul and Life is kicking my ass, I can't get the name "Speed of Life" (Little Cottonwood) out of my mind.

Also, "Woa Dude!" in the San Rafel Swell.

El Gato · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2016 · Points: 0

Way Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno (Yosemite)
Hookers and Blow (Indian Creek)

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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