Beta & help getting girlfriend back requested

Original Post
Andre H. · Mar 11, 2016 · Boulder · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 0
People of The Mountain Project,

We need to talk. After trying to sort through some easy routes to warm up on, I decided to climb a route on the First Creek Slabs with my Special Lady Friend to get re-acquainted with the Red Rocks.

After getting a late start, getting a bit lost on the approach, and then dealing with some route-finding issues, we finally topped out the route. Problem is, it was getting dark.

The MP beta was very inconclusive, confusing, and generally useless due to the sheer volume of people spewing about the lack of necessity for rap anchors on the descent. Cool story, bro.

Unfortunately, we were unable to find the descent and wound up spending a cold, hungry, thirsty night. In case any of you were unaware, a hungry, cold, tired, and scared lady is hardly a lady at all. She left me.

Thanks, commentors with diarrhea of the fingers and lack of control of the "submit" button.

Is there a way to clean up the spew resembling the back of a BLM pit toilet (gents, you know what I'm talking about) of a comments section that is? Hopefully someone else thinking Hot Flash would be a great girlfriend route can be saved the ignoble right of passage of the hangry special lady friend bivy.

Also - any advice on getting her back?


FrankPS · Mar 11, 2016 · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 15
Troll. And I don't say that often.

csproul · Mar 11, 2016 · Davis, CA · Joined Dec 2009 · Points: 25
She's already moved on to someone better.

Nicholas Aretz · Mar 11, 2016 · Lakewood, Colorado · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 5
Troll? I say legend. An 82 year old that loves the nose, naked edge and romantic warrior!!

If I still know how to post on a thread at 82 I'm winning! And this dude is leading 5.11 trad.

Andre can I have your picture so I can dream of being a super star?


Adam Stackhouse · Mar 11, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 12,265
It's not often that administrators hear of Mountain Project being the cause of a breakup, but as a consolation if you send us a self addressed stamped envelope we will send you some free stickers. Consider your grief shared.

clint helander · Mar 11, 2016 · anchorage, alaska · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 438

Did you have a headlamp?

Burcheydawwwwwwg · Mar 11, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 375
You should check out my pages on this route over at

A competent party would have been off that route and back to chucky cheese for dinner by 5.

BigB · Mar 11, 2016 · Red Rock, NV · Joined Feb 2015 · Points: 0
If you woulda hired Wow Dilliams like you shoulda you'd been fine ...karma's a beeeotch ;)

Paul Zander · Mar 11, 2016 · Tucson, AZ · Joined Oct 2012 · Points: 662
Hilarious post, but for reals - Comments need to be votable, so that top comments can move to the top. Popular routes often have 30 comments that all say basically the exact same thing. So lets get the best one to the top and hide the others for when we're reallly bored. I know Nick has gotta be working on this.

Bill Lawry · Mar 11, 2016 · New Mexico · Joined Apr 2006 · Points: 1,394
Probably too late for consoling her with but ... my partner and I found the descent quite adventuresome. I think we traversed too far and winded up (eventually) on the descent from climbs like Lotta Balls.

Matt Kuehl · Mar 11, 2016 · Las Vegas · Joined Nov 2010 · Points: 1,300
Andre, its too late, you're hopeless. You missed an impromptu cuddle sesh and you let it rappel away just like that just to be left sobbing, cold, sober, and exhausted from reading. The only conceivable way to win her back would be to take her climbing on Joe Herbst's 1973 offwidth Beauty and tell her you named it after her. Then, just then, may she be smitten by your charm.

r m · Mar 11, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2015 · Points: 0
Fault always lies in the same place, my fine babies: with him weak enough to lay blame. -- Cort

cassondra long · Mar 12, 2016 · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2008 · Points: 90
Andre, you poor soul, what in the world made you think that a route named after symptoms of menopause would make a great girlfriend route?

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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