Watch out for Con Artist JEFF CALDWELL


Tony B · · Around Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 21,740

Melissa,
Im glad to see that you didn't take the skepticism from some personally.  I'm glad to see that you've answered the questions clearly.
It shows some maturity and resilience on your part that not everyone manages to demonstrate at all times.

Given the shitty situation you went through, I'm glad to see you are able to take it in stride and are OK.
I can only imagine the issues beyond the car itself that must be involved.

I'm glad you are OK.

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
Tony B wrote:

Melissa,
Im glad to see that you didn't take the skepticism from some personally.  I'm glad to see that you've answered the questions clearly.
It shows some maturity and resilience on your part that not everyone manages to demonstrate at all times.

Given the shitty situation you went through, I'm glad to see you are able to take it in stride and are OK.
I can only imagine the issues beyond the car itself that must be involved.

I'm glad you are OK.

Thanks, Tony. I grew up in DC so I don't usually take these types of discussions personally. Plus, after what I just went through I can completely understand skepticism. I myself will likely have trust issues from here on out. I can't imagine meeting someone online agsin but time will tell. I do appreciate everyones support. 

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
Burcheydawwwwwwg wrote:

I just want to know, was old dude a good kisser?  Looks like he would be.

He is a great kisser. 

Andrew Krajnik · · Plainfield, IL · Joined Jul 2016 · Points: 50
Melissa Trent wrote:

Thanks, Tony. I grew up in DC so I don't usually take these types of discussions personally. Plus, after what I just went through I can completely understand skepticism. I myself will likely have trust issues from here on out. I can't imagine meeting someone online agsin but time will tell. I do appreciate everyones support. 

I think that's the worst part about this whole situation. Even if the car hadn't been recovered, it can be replaced. But the fact that he's potentially tainted your outlook on future relationships is truly despicable. So sorry you had to go through this.

Tony B · · Around Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 21,740

Quote from an old friend who had just gotten home from a 'bad date.'
"I know you have to kiss some frogs to find your prince, but...  All I can say right now is RIBBBBIIIIT!"

Luckily, while there are terrible people out there, there are relatively few really seriously bad ones like this particular tool.
Most people I've met who have gone through a thing like this end up with some doubt/trust issues.
It's a long road to the emotional realization that it's the perps fault, not their own.  And to be clear, you are the victim of a criminal who is obviously good enough at this to have pulled it off lots of times.
Caution is wise, so long as it does not keep you from moving forward in a healthy way, find a good way to deal with the regrets and baggage.
Your local Sherrif's office can probably suggest a free resource for you if you feel like you'd like to talk, which is frequently part of the process, if for nothing more than slowing down the loop of thoughts and collecting them to put into their place.

Good luck, and be well.

sherb · · Loveland, Ohio & Wheat Ridg... · Joined Dec 2012 · Points: 0
Melissa Trent wrote:

He is a great kisser. 

Sociopaths and a light bit of mental illness is always hot. 

http://www.cracked.com/article_15650_5-mental-disorders-that-can-totally-get-you-laid.html

Scott McMahon · · Boulder, CO · Joined Feb 2006 · Points: 105

Well there you have it!! 

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
Tony B wrote:

Quote from an old friend who had just gotten home from a 'bad date.'
"I know you have to kiss some frogs to find your prince, but...  All I can say right now is RIBBBBIIIIT!"

Luckily, while there are terrible people out there, there are relatively few really seriously bad ones like this particular tool.
Most people I've met who have gone through a thing like this end up with some doubt/trust issues.
It's a long road to the emotional realization that it's the perps fault, not their own.  And to be clear, you are the victim of a criminal who is obviously good enough at this to have pulled it off lots of times.
Caution is wise, so long as it does not keep you from moving forward in a healthy way, find a good way to deal with the regrets and baggage.
Your local Sherrif's office can probably suggest a free resource for you if you feel like you'd like to talk, which is frequently part of the process, if for nothing more than slowing down the loop of thoughts and collecting them to put into their place.

Good luck, and be well.

Thank you, Tony. It will be a long, slow road to truly healing from all of this. I am in therapy and I have a pretty good support system of friends and family. It took a me a while to tell everyone what happened. This blog has been a relief for me because I could talk about it with a little anonymity. I'm over the initial embarrassment so I'm able to talk about it and answer questions now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice, I appreciate it. 

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0

I got the car back Saturday night! Honestly, it was in better shape than I expected. It has been raining here so I think that helped knock some of the dirt off. The first thing we did was pull all of his stuff out of the car and we let it air out over night. Then we cleaned it yesterday, for hours. I can't believe the cops just left all of his crap in the car....  We are selling the 4 or 5 items that are sellable and the rest went in the trash. Here's some before and after pics.

 

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 120

Yay Melissa!

I'm sure this helps a lot with getting this behind you.

On trust? Yes, that will be tough. It will get better, but, as feisty as you seem to be? I'm guessing you will just make an active decision to overcome your qualms and trust people anyway. Thats the early part of the process, and you do that purely for your own dignity.

The other hard part is relearning to trust yourself. That comes too, but it's much harder won.

All the best, girl. You've been rockin' this!

OLH

nathanael · · Riverside, CA · Joined May 2011 · Points: 199

LOL he loaded it up with stickers

Idaho Ian · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2014 · Points: 0
nathanael wrote:

LOL he loaded it up with stickers

And an awful job at that

Thank god they weren't on the paint

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
Old lady H wrote:

Yay Melissa!

I'm sure this helps a lot with getting this behind you.

On trust? Yes, that will be tough. It will get better, but, as feisty as you seem to be? I'm guessing you will just make an active decision to overcome your qualms and trust people anyway. Thats the early part of the process, and you do that purely for your own dignity.

The other hard part is relearning to trust yourself. That comes too, but it's much harder won.

All the best, girl. You've been rockin' this!

OLH

Thank you for your support. Finding the car and having Jeff arrested and presumably going away for a very long time has been a HUGE help in moving forward. He actually texted me from jail on Thursday and that really freaked me out. I called the jail and they said the inmates have access to ipods... They blocked all of our numbers so he can't contact us again and said that in South Dakota he is strictly forbidden to have contact with his victim because of Marcy's Law and that if it happens again to let them know immediately. I just couldn't believe he texted me. Past victims tell me that he does this as a way of playing on sympathies and he's trying to squeeze even more out of me. I played dumb for a while trying to get my car back and told him I would write him in jail. I guess he believes it but there is no sympathy from me. I will be at every hearing and my voice will be heard. 

To everyone that has followed this thread, thank you. Thank you for the support, the debate, the doubt, the friendship, the place to vent. I NEVER imagined that posting here would have connected me to so many amazing people. This has been life changing in some very negative ways but I have gained a lot from this experience. My life has been changed. I hope I will not be bitter and that I will continue to love people and form great relationships. No matter what I am much smarter now and will learn from my mistakes and grow. 

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
nathanael wrote:

LOL he loaded it up with stickers

I KNOW! I think it was to fuck with me. Let me know everywhere he took the car. And I LOVE how he has the "Afghanistan - I served" sticker in the middle. He's full of shit....  But we got those off easily with alcohol and a razor blade. :)

Tony B · · Around Boulder, CO · Joined Jan 2001 · Points: 21,740
Melissa Trent wrote:

They blocked all of our numbers so he can't contact us again and said that in South Dakota he is strictly forbidden to have contact with his victim because of Marcy's Law and that if it happens again to let them know immediately. I just couldn't believe he texted me. Past victims tell me that he does this as a way of playing on sympathies and he's trying to squeeze even more out of me. I played dumb for a while trying to get my car back and told him I would write him in jail. I guess he believes it but there is no sympathy from me. I will be at every hearing and my voice will be heard. 

Heh... would it be worth it to unblock it and let him call it again, then give the records to the prosecutor?  You know, just in case he might get out too soon otherwise?

Old lady H · · Boise, Idaho · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 120
Melissa Trent wrote:

Thank you for your support. Finding the car and having Jeff arrested and presumably going away for a very long time has been a HUGE help in moving forward. He actually texted me from jail on Thursday and that really freaked me out. I called the jail and they said the inmates have access to ipods... They blocked all of our numbers so he can't contact us again and said that in South Dakota he is strictly forbidden to have contact with his victim because of Marcy's Law and that if it happens again to let them know immediately. I just couldn't believe he texted me. Past victims tell me that he does this as a way of playing on sympathies and he's trying to squeeze even more out of me. I played dumb for a while trying to get my car back and told him I would write him in jail. I guess he believes it but there is no sympathy from me. I will be at every hearing and my voice will be heard. 

To everyone that has followed this thread, thank you. Thank you for the support, the debate, the doubt, the friendship, the place to vent. I NEVER imagined that posting here would have connected me to so many amazing people. This has been life changing in some very negative ways but I have gained a lot from this experience. My life has been changed. I hope I will not be bitter and that I will continue to love people and form great relationships. No matter what I am much smarter now and will learn from my mistakes and grow. 

Hey, m'am? This community literally puts their lives in the hands of their fellow climbers. We get trust, and, sadly, broken trust too, but that's rare.

Consider roping up with a little group of people on here, sometime. You've already made friends here with people who are rooting for you. Say the word, I bet you'd have volunteers, from those you have been talking to. If you ever mosey through Boise....

:-) OLH 

Billcoe · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 570
Melissa Trent wrote:

Thank you, Tony. It will be a long, slow road to truly healing from all of this. I am in therapy and I have a pretty good support system of friends and family. It took a me a while to tell everyone what happened. This blog has been a relief for me because I could talk about it with a little anonymity. I'm over the initial embarrassment so I'm able to talk about it and answer questions now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice, I appreciate it. 

Glad your car is back and you are on the road (somewhat) to happiness again Melissa. Sorry all this crap happened, it only takes <1% of the population to be shitheads to screw it up for the rest of us. I'm sorry that you bumped into such a person. My best regards to you and may health and well being follow you the rest of your days. 

ALEXAOUTDOOR Alexa smit · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
Melissa Trent wrote:

I KNOW! I think it was to fuck with me. Let me know everywhere he took the car. And I LOVE how he has the "Afghanistan - I served" sticker in the middle. He's full of shit....  But we got those off easily with alcohol and a razor blade. :)

He did it with out the stickers.

The stickers were just so the car looked dirtbagger.

-Climb in peace, alexa-

Melissa Trent · · Unknown Hometown · Joined May 2017 · Points: 0
ALEXAOUTDOOR Alexa smit wrote:

He did it with out the stickers.

The stickers were just so the car looked dirtbagger.

-Climb in peace, alexa-

I know you are right. This really wasn't about me at all for him. Once he had the car I was out of sight, out of mind. He talked about how much he loved the car when we would be in it together. There was another one, exact year and model just different color, for sale at the place I got mine and he claimed he was going to buy it - pay cash of course. Anyways, he was going to put a roof rack on it and put stickers on it from all the breweries he visited. So I think he really took the car and then made it his. It was so weird to go through all of his really personal stuff. His army papers, jail papers, address book, and TWO cell phones were all there. In the center console there were condoms (new, thank god) and his knives and ear buds and deodorant. The whole thing was a very weird experience. It still seems like his car....

Morgan Patterson · · CT · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 8,332

Be funny if you offered to sell his personal stuff back to him... but then he'd have to go rip someone else off to get you the money so its prob not a great route lol.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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