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Greatest...Climbing...Blog...Ever!


Original Post
sapiecha Sapiecha · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 140

Have you seen this??? This is incredible..

rockclimbinglife.wordpress.com

NC Rock Climber · · The Oven, AKA Phoenix · Joined Dec 2009 · Points: 60

OMFG! Is this for real?

Here is a suggested TR anchor from the blog.

TR Anchor

sapiecha Sapiecha · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 140

I hope so... trying to message the guy to find out who he is.

TWrenO · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 0

Somebody put a hell of a lot of effort into trolling. That is an amazing collection of flame-bait though.

Russ Keane · · Asheville, NC · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 150

Why so special? He talks a lot about the gym. :(

Magpie79 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 0

Seeing someone prussiking in the gym after a lead fall would make my day.

ikmortu · · People's Republic of Chicago · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 5
How to belay?!?!
This is my favorite bit of advice.
NC Rock Climber · · The Oven, AKA Phoenix · Joined Dec 2009 · Points: 60

This is a very elaborate troll. No way is it real, but it is GOLD, PURE GOLD!

The best clue was the picture of the carabiner with the "not for climbing" stamp.

Cheers, and well done!

Jacob Smith · · Seattle, WA · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 230
NC Rock Climber wrote:This is a very elaborate troll. No way is it real, but it is GOLD, PURE GOLD! The best clue was the picture of the carabiner with the "not for climbing" stamp. Cheers, and well done!
I'm not so sure... enough of what he says seems just plain odd, i.e. his comments about talking to people at a crag, sending a 5.12, the "hundreds" a knots a climber must learn, that he might just be for real.
the carabiner photo could just be to demonstrate what a screw-gate looks like, but if it's real it does seem like a whole different level of stupid.

the comment on "SLCDs" takes the cake though, "if you drop, scratch, or fall on a piece of gear — it should become a keychain, not something that you trust with your life."

wasn't there a thread a couple months ago about idiotic things pseudo-climbers have been overheard saying? this blog is like the distillation of that entire conversation.
Jeff J · · Bozeman · Joined Sep 2010 · Points: 110
NC Rock Climber wrote:OMFG! Is this for real? Here is a suggested TR anchor from the blog.


If that is his TR anchor, I never climbing a big wall with this guy. I can not imagine the cluster F*%& that would ensue.
NC Rock Climber · · The Oven, AKA Phoenix · Joined Dec 2009 · Points: 60

Jeff, maybe you are right. This blog just seems SO over the top. I am sticking with Troll!

There was a video Locker posted on ST a few weeks ago of a guy talking about his gear. It was all brand new, and the guy obviously had never used it and had no idea how to climb. However, he talked for 10 or 20 minutes about how each pice was used and his gear preferences. It was really odd.

Mac Lupton · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2014 · Points: 20

so Gold. such troll. much hilarity. wow

Michael C · · New Jersey · Joined Jun 2011 · Points: 340
rockclimbinglife.wordpress.…

"When I am going to project a boulder problem or route, I make sure to brush each hold, then, spray it thoroughly with the water bottle, wait 10-15 minutes until completely dry, then dip the toothbrush in some chalk, and re-brush each hold. Do this, and you’ll jump a full number grade."

Nice. I am SO going to CRUSH this year. WHOO-HOO!!!
Jacob Smith · · Seattle, WA · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 230

If its a troll, it is a whole new level of genius.
There's nothing you can point to (except maybe that carabiner photo) and say 'no one would EVER do/think that,' and enough of it is bland enough that if it's a troll it's a very deliberately and expertly disguised troll. The real comedic value is in the sense of genuine expertise that he tries to convey, nothing he says would be more than mildly amusing coming from someone who knew nothing about climbing, but he seems to really think he is an expert.
If it's not real, the impersonation is absurdly good.

GhaMby Eagan · · Heaven · Joined Oct 2006 · Points: 385

You guys are f-cking mean! But this guy is so f-cking clueless that I can't blame you!

About
Hey guys, my name is Wesley Summers. I have spent the last 3 years of my life exploring the vertical world, i.e., rock cilmbing! I first started what would be a life changing sport at my local indoor climbing gym. This is a place indoors where the walls mimic the natural features of the great outdoor cliffs such as Yosemite National Park. I quickly excelled at the sport and found myself instructing people on such things as Top Roping, Bouldering, Knot Tying, and Safety. Recently, I have further grown as a rock climber and have taken my sport to new heights: Outside! Words cannot express how great it is to be outdoors on the rocks and being an example and inspiration to the climbing community. I hope to continue to make everyone proud, and share my gift of rock climbing to the world!

So funny. . .

noticed there was a group top roping a route next to mine, using only 2 quick draws?! Is this normal? This did not seem safe at all. They had one quick draw on each bolt, but all of the carabiners were NON LOCKING! This doesn’t seem safe to me because its quite easy for these carabiners to unclip the rope in the event of a fall.

I use 2 quickdraws, but I normally fall down, not up. . .

For God’s sake, if you drop, scratch, or fall on a piece of gear — it should become a keychain, not something that you trust with your life.

Also…. I was not aware that Black Diamond carabiners are made in China? Not cool.. I would call for independent testing of these carabiners to make sure they have the same standards as ones made in the USA.


Every Goddamn post makes me laugh sooo hard, I wish that this was a troll, but I'm not thinking so.


Last fall, I was lucky enough to tag along on a trip some of the climbers from our gym were going on to the Red River Gorge in Kentucky. This was my first time at “The Red”, and I didn’t really know what to expect. Back home, I can easily climb any of the 5.11 routes at the gym, within 5 or 6 attempts. But “The Red” was different.

We started on a climb called, ”27 Years of Climbing“, which had a written grade of 5.8. Usually, I am able to send this grade first try, but found myself struggling after every clip. I think I had to rest on each one. I am not sure if this is one of those historic routes that were climbed when routes only went up to 5.10, but I think the grade should change to reflect modern grades of today.


So modern grading=whatever your soft-ass gym grades are???

Long story short, I sent my first 5.12 route today! At our gym,

Well then the 10's at the red will feel really soft now...

Climbers love music. It has been my experience that you almost always hear music at the crags. But before you blast Dr. Dre on your portable speaker, make sure you ask everyone at the crag what their taste in music is. You don’t want to play Hip Hop if the other group at the cliff prefers Jazz. An easy way to accommodate everyone, I’ve found, is to swap out iPods every half hour or so. This way everyone gets to hear their own music at least once.

Okay, maybe it is a troll???

I hope Wesley keeps this up, I have so much to learn!

Johnny Y · · California · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 630

The posts are great, but his responses to the comments are even better! Great entertainment value though and a true inspiration to the climbing community. It seems so obvious that he's a troll but you just can't figure out how it's done so... flawlessly. Reminds me of that magnet bottle opening trick

Jacob Smith · · Seattle, WA · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 230
Johnny Y wrote:The posts are great, but his responses to the comments are even better! Great entertainment value though and a true inspiration to the climbing community. It seems so obvious that he's a troll but you just can't figure out how it's done so... flawlessly.
Some of the comments do seem to give it away, which saddens me, i want to live in a world where this person exists.
Johnny Y · · California · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 630
Jacob Smith wrote: Some of the comments do seem to give it away, which saddens me, i want to live in a world where this person exists.
Looks like the photo from Progression is from Elevation Place in Canmore Canada

And the grigri belayer in the first post is definitely not him: wrong belaying technique

And the guy on Getting Lucky... yea, Steve, back in 2009

There is no silver bullet yet but yea this person probably doesn't exist and I am terribly saddened.
sapiecha Sapiecha · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 140

That's a lot of research effort lol

Johnny Y · · California · Joined Nov 2012 · Points: 630
sapiecha wrote:That's a lot of research effort lol
Not really, Google Image Search finds everything these days
Vertical · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 0

The vid he posted " Where are you buying your climbing gear?" is an actual person who believes the statements he makes.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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