Clearly the "community" has anointed me King of Tahquitz and in climbing we must always abide by the community's decisions. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Cory F wrote: OH FFS. King of Tahquitz!? We're never going to hear the end of this...
Btw, I hope you cleaned the faux beer before drinking ;-)
Yes, yes, you must be familiar, the beer tasted like it needed cleaning. How does one do this? Les grimpeurs de Amerique seem to drink some cheap swill. Can I clean some MD 2020 into a nice vin de ma patrie?
To those wanting to contest the throne, I think the challenge has been set! What kind of beer will you bring for us? Do not tell us here; load up your packs!
apogee wrote: "Clearly the "community" has anointed me King of Tahquitz..."
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
No, it was a lot.
Perhaps someday, should you become as generous and handsome as I, I shall anoint you honorary King of Lunch Rock so that your jealousy may melt such as the spring snows of my Kingdom.
Is this where I announce that I just sharted in my undies? Cuz I ain’t wearing undies.
x15x15
·
Aug 14, 2019
·
Use Ignore Button
· Joined Mar 2009
· Points: 275
Tradiban wrote:
Perhaps someday, should you become as generous and handsome as I, I shall anoint you honorary King of Lunch Rock so that your jealousy may melt such as the spring snows of my Kingdom.
Le Soliste Drunkiste wrote: Bonjour mi fellow escaladores,
I am posting to relate a fun tale and give due praise to the King of Tahquitz. A month ago I found myself rope soloing Whodunit, exiled to America as I am no longer welcome in my homeland. The whole time I overheard banter among the clusterage on White Maiden's, but I could not see the climbers. Upon reaching the summit, I was initially disheartened to spy a can of American beer, how you say PBR? Must mean pisse boite repugnant... Anyway, I thought that either I would be sharing the summit with fellow inebriates, or that one of them had left garbage for me to carry down. En France, the only garbage we leave behind is cigarette butts, and we remove all else. I decided to see if the last sip of warm beer was left for me, but upon reaching the can it was fully sealed! And cold! I could not believe my fortune. Being solo, I had neglected to bring my usual 3 bottles of wine for the summit celebration. Suspecting the king of the rock was behind my luck, I quickly confirmed my gift was of royal provenance by calling the Tradiban hotline. In that moment on the summit, after rope soloing 300 m, I knew the joy of sharing the summit with a fellow climber. I overlooked all the insults and jabs that Tradiban throws. I realized that behind every username here, there is a person. And they probably are ok. Do not run from thinking, do not run from reevaluating your ideas! Life is to learn and experience! Have gratitude for those that help you question yourself! This is a place for thinking and discussion and learning and growth! We do not need to turn to the insults for growth, we will be patient and open with each other!
Cheers, LSD
There was also a beer in the summit register, who got that one?
apogee wrote: Can you be ‘king’ of a place where you don’t even live?
Dear my loyal subjects,
Regrettably, I can not grace you with my presence on a daily basis, for a King's duty is to his subjects and his subjects require great care and wisdom from their King. This care and wisdom can not be obtained by merely sitting upon a throne wasting the day, no, no, this care and wisdom comes from great travels, powerful acquaintances, and economic achievement! Thus, I must spend my weekdays tending to my obligations. Fear not! For I will return on the weekends and hold court with you, my loyal subjects. Should you be in need of any assistance I urge you to contact my secretary at the following number: 951-527-7959 Any assistance I can provide would be an honor.
Regrettably, I can not grace you with my presence on a daily basis, for a King's duty is to his subjects and his subjects require great care and wisdom from their King. This care and wisdom can not be obtained by merely sitting upon a throne wasting the day, no, no, this care and wisdom comes from great travels, powerful acquaintances, and economic achievement! Thus, I must spend my weekdays tending to my obligations. Fear not! For I will return on the weekends and hold court with you, my loyal subjects. Should you be in need of any assistance I urge you to contact my secretary at the following number: 951-527-7959 Any assistance I can provide would be an honor.
Yours faithfully, King Tradiban
Dear King Tradiban,
Court Memorandum:
Us lesser peasants have some missed some of your "Obligations" to addressing kingdom issues and are questioning your competency and ability to lead (insulting pun intended). Some of these obligations are undermining your "care" and "wisdom" for your loyal gumbies. 1) Please reinstall the Climber Trail Sign, 2) Ban Dave Deviations, 3) Fix the surrounding roads, 4) Remove the tree blocking the trail, and 5) Develop clear instructions regarding helicopter rescue necessities. A regular stash of PBR for all would be nice and reduce any chances of a competency vote.
Failure to hear us out may lead to dethroning, revolts, or the loss of your self-proclaimed title.
Us lesser peasants have some missed some of your "Obligations" to addressing kingdom issues and are questioning your competency and ability to lead (insulting pun intended). Some of these obligations are undermining your "care" and "wisdom" for your loyal gumbies. 1) Please reinstall the Climber Trail Sign, 2) Ban Dave Deviations, 3) Fix the surrounding roads, 4) Remove the tree blocking the trail, and 5) Develop clear instructions regarding helicopter rescue necessities. A regular stash of PBR for all would be nice and reduce any chances of a competency vote.
Failure to hear us out may lead to dethroning, revolts, or the loss of your self-proclaimed title.
Sincerely, Gumby King
Dear loyal subject Cory F,
Yes, yes. Those matters shall be attended to post haste. However, there are two matters that must be settled before action can commence.
First, your taxes. It seems from an official review that your town is far behind in it's payments. The royal fridge has not been stocked in some time and the wine cellar is almost empty! I do hope you can come up with the needed goods.
Second, there seems to be a lack of proper respect to your King from a few of the local peasants. I understand you, Cory F, are most loyal and respectful however, some of your brethren need quite the adjustment! I do hope you can turn their attitude around before it's too late!
A few years back, Tradiban invited my friends and me to stay at their guest house and climb the next day (I did not know of him at the time, only heard stories from my friends who worked with him at SO). As we drove into the driveway, we were greeted with a mixed cocktail courtesy of Tradian's Rad-Dad. Since we got in later than expected and hadn't eaten, we ended up grabbing dinner in town while Tradi opted to stay behind to prep for tomorrow. Good decision on his part - we ended up making questionable karaoke song choices and consumed mas amounts of beer. We eventually found our way back to the house and continued our rager into the wee hours of the night (my apologies, Tradi, if our ruckus awakened you). Come morning time, dehydrated and hungover, we were greeted with donuts, pastries, coffee and OJ! Well played.
Me and the other girl from our group still laugh about how horrific the approach was that day due to being massively hungover, her hitting her head on the tree trunk, Tradiban essentially flying up the trail and getting in 2 routes before we even got to the base. After the hangover wore off, we got in some fun climbs (especially TR'ing Green Rosetta lol) and received a lot of PBR in between. Good times!
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