First ascentionists: What's the worst thing you've ever done a first ascent of?

Spray about it

A pile of rotting fish?

I named one heap House of cards. led the 1st pitch  up a loose brushy chimney 5.6  or so.  made belay on a rotten ledge under tons of loose stacked blocks which had been hidden from below by all the nice shrubbery. drilled a single bolt and bailed.

In 1992 I did what was I suspect was a first ascent on the NE face of Orizaba ... I did it by accident, aiming for the N face but starting up too early, ascending between the trough that is the backside of the Sarcofago & the huge icicle that overhangs the upper NE face ... after crossing the trough in a hail of stones the route follows an ice ramp that was nice enough but dumped me out on a high angle scree field about 50 meters wide ... sliding toward the void at every step, I sprinted for a large flat stone in the middle & perched on it, like some rock surfer at 16K feet, though it stayed more or less in place while I caught my breath before dashing across the remainder ... the mixed ground to follow was okay & I ended up chimneying up the moat between rock and the hanging part of the Jamapa glacier ... back down in his compound I showed Senor Reyes my route on a photo on his wall ... I don't think he believed me ... I didn't blame him ...

I have done many. Sometimes its hard to judge the quality of a route looking up at it from the ground. 

Salamanizer suchoski wrote:

I have done many. Sometimes its hard to judge the quality of a route looking up at it from the ground. 

That's why I tend to do mine from top down, when possible 

This prehistoric choss pile

Climbed a new route that i thought was a splitter handcrack. Turned out to be a completely detached pillar that was probably something like 3 feet wide X 3 feet deep for its entire 70 foot length. It resonated loudly and was all OW, not a handcrack. To this day I have no idea how that pillar stays attached. Not recommended, chalked it up as a learning experience.

The project of that one guy in the gym, and his girlfriend. Send party!

Andrew Gram wrote: Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  

Why is there not a separate thread for this gem....

Variation #3 is a nasty wet pigeon/pooped- filled, crab crawl thru a bombbay chimney(5.6/7?). . .

Andrew Gram wrote: Trump Tower, though to be fair I did spend a year combing the desert for the worst turdpile of an unclimbed tower to bestow this name on.  

Sounds to me like he lives rent free in your head. Lots of room there?

In 2010 Tarbuster, Eric, and I hiked up to a fin of some really shitty metamorphic rock (I think) in Boulder Canyon. Roy climbed the Fin of Krappe and brought up Eric. I declined the invitation to stand on the top. To our knowledge it has not been repeated.

"I didn't do it nobody saw me you got nothing on me."

What esteemed statesman said that?

Chris Little wrote:

Sounds to me like he lives rent free in your head. Lots of room there?

Ah, the good old days in America - before a moderate chortle became a cosmic joke ...