Guide for Solar Slab between the 26th and 29th

What the??

"Ye just be jealous of me lifestyle" - A pirate guide trustafarian, probably.

"Andre H," huh? What's your fascination with this guy in the photos?

Whoa there, fellas, don't scuffle, I'm sure there's enough pirate guide for the both of you.

youtube.com/watch?v=i8wLsXv…

Doug Foust wrote: Hi Dow, You talk about having the balls to admit things in person. Simple question, do you guide in Red Rock? I look forward to the response. Thanks, Doug

You know it's interesting Doug, I've been climbing at Red Rocks for 25 plus years and I keep hearing from bad ass climber after cool climber about this guy Dow Williams who's experienced and seasoned and cool.

I've heard you're name too but never in the context of cool or experienced or seasoned...

Adam Burch, i've never heard of you, but your photo on MP looks like you're as prego as sigourney weaver in aliens one, right before the alien popped out of her stomach. You should STFU and pay some respect to a climber like Dow who's obviously twice the climber you'll ever be.

Eric Thompson wrote: I keep hearing from bad ass climber after cool climber about this guy Dow Williams who's experienced and seasoned and cool... You should STFU and pay some respect to a climber like Dow who's obviously twice the climber you'll ever be.

Eric, I don't think anyone is particularly questioning Dow's ability to climb. I think for most of us, someone's climbing ability has very little to do with our impression of them.

Eric Thompson wrote: Adam Burch, i've never heard of you, but your photo on MP looks like you're as prego as sigourney weaver in aliens one, right before the alien popped out of her stomach. You should STFU and pay some respect to a climber like Dow who's obviously twice the climber you'll ever be.

Well. Eric Thompson has never heard of me. Please allow me a moment to recover from such a tragic discovery...

Okay, I pulled through somehow. Took a lot of support from family and prayer, but I emerged on the other side.

On a serious note, how long did it take you to come up with that alien joke? It's so bad. I mean, it's really bad. LOL. I'll wager you've probably got a gut like so many other "climbers," and you've been mocked for it...is that why you're going for that angle? Pretty hilarious coming from the guy that appears to be trying out for the part of "older brother turtle" in the local play.

...

Are you pirate guiding as well? Is that why U so mad?

Edit: Called out? LOL. Yes...I'm pregnant, and 11% bodyfat...wut do? Didn't need to do normal stalk, just looked in his profile. Saved at least 30 seconds of effort - thanks for that, Eric.

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Adam Burch wrote: Well. Eric Thompson has never heard of me. Please allow me a moment to recover from such a tragic discovery... Okay, I pulled through somehow. Took a lot of support from family and prayer, but I emerged on the other side. On a serious note, how long did it take you to come up with that alien joke? It's so bad. I mean, it's really bad. LOL. I'll wager you've probably got a gut like so many other "climbers," and you've been mocked for it...is that why you're going for that angle? Pretty hilarious coming from the guy that appears to be trying out for the part of "older brother turtle" in the local play. Are you pirate guiding as well? Is that why U so mad?

lol, burchy called out, goes a stalking

This thread is deteriorating rapidly (so what else is new?).

So, furthering the deterioration....

To the OP: it's Solar Slab, not "slabs", which you keep writing, despite getting the thread title correct.

Marc801 wrote:So, furthering the deterioration.... To the OP: it's Solar Slab, not "slabs", which you keep writing, despite getting the thread title correct.

Are you a Red Rocks local?

And, yes, in case you're wondering, I do know what I just did there.

As long as we are going to get technical Colonel Mustard its "Red Rock"......

Andrew Yasso wrote: Eric, I don't think anyone is particularly questioning Dow's ability to climb. I think for most of us, someone's climbing ability has very little to do with our impression of them.

Andrew gets an A+ for reading comprehension. Eric gets a solid D.

Colonel Mustard wrote: Are you a Red Rocks local?

What does that matter? I know how to read a guidebook.

Adam Burch wrote: Are you pirate guiding as well?

Why? Are you some sort of pirate hunter?

Adam B, Pirate hunter....

Pirate Hunter

Imma lynch yer pirate guide!

Pirate Guide!

Where's Dow at lately anyway? I've been missing that arrogant bastard. Who combines self congratulatory tone with unadulterated, ovum smashing testosterone quite like he does? Nobody fucking ever, that's who.

My own weak impersonation of the Dowager Prince:

Here I was being a bad ass by my own report, when I saw these people having an average climbing day. I'd like to point out as arrogantly as possible exactly how much better I am than them.

Here I was, humping a fifty pound pig to the base of the Eagle Wall. An actual pig, mind you. Oink oink? It was for the post-climb feast I would cook for the on the DL guided linkup of Eagle Dance and Lev 29 I was doing for some clients. This was my second lap there in two hours, but that slow pace was only because I consider this a rest day. As I was crushing the pig's windpipe with one hand, I saw a slow party of a dad and his teenage son approaching. "You ladies are late," I rasped out at those two shaking leaves. Fucking clients, I thought to myself.

"Fucking clients" I said out loud to their trembling faces, because that's just the kind of guy I am. Dow Williams. Straight shooter. So-called pirate guide. Well, I'll be your matey. For a price.

Route Beta: Hump a damn pig to a natural bbq pit I alone found on the Eagle Wall descent. Useful for long days of double rope technique siege wall linkups that will require the rejuvenating powers of carnitas. Approach time: 30 minutes for non-lilly livers. Tell your teenage boy, I will bite his pasty face next time if I see that fear on the wall again.

If you're man enough and your nuts have finally dropped, you can view more important route beta I've bequeathed at this antiquated website with minimal actual climbing content outside of my own you're welcome

grog m wrote:As long as we are going to get technical Colonel Mustard its "Red Rock"......

...actually it's Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area not splitting hairs or anything!

This thread is terrible.