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By Avi Katz
May 1, 2012
cat
cat


whipped
whipped



thats how it starts man..

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By steitz
From midcoast, maine
May 1, 2012
It's never too late to back out.....


j/k. but maybe you guys should talk about your relationship and being supportive of each others hobbies or something...

FLAG
By JohnWesely
From Red River Gorge
May 1, 2012
Gunking
Just got married. Went climbing the week before the wedding. Going to Yosemite for a month after the Honeymoon at the wife's request. You need to be talking to her instead of us.

FLAG
By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
Dude don't listen to these foulks they don't know the two of you...they only base their advice on what they have been through in their own lives...talk to her and make her realize how important she is to you ....dude that's your girl they are talking about!

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By Tony B
From Around Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Got Milk? How about forearm pump? Tony leads "...
Delta Bravo wrote:
Just wait until you are 10, 15 years in, coming up with these mandatory homages to her female-ness gets taxing as hell.

Oh the irony... and the less good-looking she gets, the more you'll have to praise her for it!

Survey #2: What is the proper answer to "Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?"

And as for the post above... whatever. Never listen to the advice of people who tell you not to listen to advice.

Especially when their profile reads:
Elena Sera Jose is in the Partner Finder and is open to climbing with new people. Best times to climb: weekends.
Personal: Lives in colorado, Male

They just might have rather interesting pathology...

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By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
Tony B wrote:
Oh the irony... and the less good-looking she gets, the more you'll have to praise her for it! Survey #2: What is the proper answer to "Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?" And as for the post above... whatever. Never listen to the advice of people who tell you not to listen to advice.

That's very sad to hear...some people stay in relationships they should not stay in...

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By Tony B
From Around Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Got Milk? How about forearm pump? Tony leads "...
Elena Sera Jose wrote:
That's very sad to hear...some people stay in relationships they should not stay in...

Yep. Very true. Some people stay in relationships with people who have no sense of humor. Me? I'm happily married. But I am also grounded in reality about what it takes.
Are you still a man, btw?

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By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
Yep dude! That thing wount let me change my name back to Russ haha!

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By Dave Swink
From Boulder, Co
May 1, 2012
That's pretty seriously weird. Get an admin to help fer God's sake!

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By Jake Jones
From Richmond, VA
May 1, 2012
Me and the offspring walking back to the car after...
One of the biggest mistakes I've made (with regard to how much suffering I've had to endure, not an ACTUAL mistake) is assuming she would have a sense of humor about something which she did not. It's one of those "marriage" things you learn as you go.

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By Elena Sera Jose
From colorado
May 1, 2012
bacon
Tony B wrote:
Yep. Very true. Some people stay in relationships with people who have no sense of humor. Me? I'm happily married. But I am also grounded in reality about what it takes. Are you still a man, btw?

So it's compromise? ??? For the bigger good. Stop confusing the kid and let them work things out between the two of them. If climbing is that important he will find a way to climb and keep his woman happy!

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By Berkeley
From Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Font!
I'm a woman, and I think this is ridiculous. I absolutely understand the fact that your fiance wants help with the wedding, and you should help her, but is she telling you that you're not even allowed to go to the gym? It sounds like she's trying to see how much she can control you. The fact she is asking you to quit doing what you love for an entire month before your wedding makes it sound like she's not supportive of your interests, and I seriously doubt this will be the last time she asks you to stop climbing.

Do you think that your wedding will be the most stressful thing your marriage will face? Absolutely not. Is she going to ask you to completely quit climbing every time something comes up? Is she going to quit doing everything that she enjoys for a month before the wedding?

The only reasonable explanation I can think of for her rule is that you have repeatedly ditched her to go climbing when she needed you in the past. If this is the case, you need to get your priorities straight. If not, you should tell her to stop being a bridezilla and accept the fact that she is not your boss (you should probably phrase it in a nicer way).

Disclaimer: Most of us don't know you, and we don't know your relationship, so, obviously take what we say with a grain of salt.

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By Darren Mabe
From Flagstaff, AZ
May 1, 2012
wham bam hand jam. Wrapping up the final moves of ...
Anthony Milano wrote:
future bride to ask me to lay off climbing for the month surrounding the wedding because it would stress her even more out.

do you think thats her real reason?

Anthony Milano wrote:
made her sign something stating this is the only time she is able to ask me not to climb for an agreed amount of time...

good luck with that

Berkeley wrote:
The only reasonable explanation I can think of for her rule is that you have repeatedly ditched her to go climbing when she needed you in the past. If this is the case, you need to get your priorities straight. If not, you should tell her to stop being a bridezilla and accept the fact that she is not your boss

+1

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By Colonel Mustard
From Reno, NV
May 1, 2012
Colonel Mustard
TheBirdman wrote:
Says the single climbers who all struggle with relationships because climbing takes priority...


I was actually surprised this post (the type of response) hadn't cropped up earlier. There's something to be said for priorities, you are correct, and you gotta decide where your lines are. A loved one asking you to give up other things that make life worthwhile is something else. Good luck with that, I say.

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By Red
From Arizona
May 1, 2012
Cobra Kai
Delta Bravo wrote:
Women marry men believing that they can change them. Men marry women thinking they won't change. Both are typically disappointed in those regards.

words to remember.

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By Rob Eison
From Denver, CO
May 1, 2012
Have you already cashed in on your bachelor's party? If not then I see the perfect compromise for you--a weekend climbing trip "bachelor's party." If I could change one thing about my wedding it would have been to take a 3 day climbing trip wherever instead of the drunken gambling stripper Vegas weekend of debauchery that I don't really even remember. What a waste when compared to any number of climbing possibilities. I think my wife would have preferred I not do the Vegas trip as well.

Sounds like you better start working on your negotiating skills because it's a long road ahead. Thanks for the thread, helps me see how good I have it with my ball-and-chain...

FLAG
 
By Jeremy Kasmann
From Denver, CO
May 1, 2012
Tell her to chill out. I got a nice half day of skiing in on my wedding day. Change the location/season and it would have been a half day of climbing.

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By Tony B
From Around Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Got Milk? How about forearm pump? Tony leads "...
Darren Mabe wrote:
do you think thats her real reason?

Hmmm... well, if not then there is a whole 'nother thing to consider. Trust and communication, trust and communication...

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By Michael Dupont
May 1, 2012
Is it possible she just wants to see that you are mentally invested in the process of planning the wedding and that you're not taking it lightly?

I'd guess that she's stressing out about the planning and wants to see some external manifestation of that stress from you. You need to let her know that the wedding is important to you and that you are willing to scale back your climbing accordingly before the wedding. But let her know that climbing is an important release of that stress for you and without that, everybody will be even more miserable.

Once you're married, she'll eventually get tired of you hanging around the house and demand that you go on week long climbing trips just to get you out of her business but YMMV.

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By Sergio P
From Idaho Springs, CO
May 1, 2012
World Champion NY Giants logo
Been married 10 years in June. Iíve had a kid for 4 years. I donít climb as much as I used to and Iím super happy about that. The greatest days Iíve had climbing donít compare to that best days Iíve had with my family. Sounds like youíve conversed with her and are on the same page that climbing is important to you, while she explained that minimizing the stress of the wedding is important to her. If you are not willing to sacrifice one month of climbing for your wife I suggest you donít get married. If she is asking you to cut back on your climbing forever then you probably shouldnít get married. This will not be the last time you have to cut back on climbing for your wife. She could get pregnant, sick, need you to work on the house, etc. I lost a lot of climbing when my wife blew her ACL; no regrets. Marriage and kids are the biggest adventure of a lifetime. They make 5.15 look easy. Enjoy the ride!

FLAG
By Ryan Williams
Administrator
From London (sort of)
May 1, 2012
El Chorro
You don't get hurt a ton? What's not a ton? Like a broken ankle every year or something ;)

I didn't climb much for the month around my wedding but it sure wasn't because my wife asked me not to. And even if she had, it would have been about me spending more time helping her or w/ family, etc. It would never have anything to do with her worrying about me. She's knows that climbing is as safe or as dangerous as you make it (90% of the time anyways).

If your wife worries about you getting dead, maybe she doesn't quite understand exactly what you're doing out there? Either that or you are wreckless!

Marriage ain't easy man, but it's always worth it. If you don't feel the same, don't get married.

FLAG
By Darren Mabe
From Flagstaff, AZ
May 1, 2012
wham bam hand jam. Wrapping up the final moves of ...
Tony B wrote:
Hmmm... well, if not then there is a whole 'nother thing to consider. Trust and communication, trust and communication...

thats what i was eluding to, because she may have another reason besides being only "stressed out", and OP may have only heard/interpreted that way. for example she might have said something like, "you havent helped with enough planning of this wedding at all and there is so much left to do i am stressed out"

there seems to be more to the story, thats all. or at least 'her' side too, in order for all of us to be playing Dr.Phil effectively.

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By Tony B
From Around Boulder, CO
May 1, 2012
Got Milk? How about forearm pump? Tony leads "...
Anthony Milano wrote:
On a more serious note; this website keeps me sane.

That's odd... it has exactly the opposite effect on most everyone else.

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By Angela Mabe
From Flagstaff,AZ
May 1, 2012
On top of Dr. Rubos
wow. i feel blessed after reading this. i needed to climb around our wedding so i could clear my head from wedding stuff. Does your fiance climb?

FLAG
 
By Ben Brotelho
From Albany, NY
May 1, 2012
Epic free solo with a pack on
climb on my friend...try to let her know that your sanity is just as important as her's (probably not an easy task to prove that to a bride-to-be), and that you guys are a team, not a principal-agent relationship...

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