"Als Sports is having a crazy deal on cams." DannyUncanny

Now that was smart.

1. "if you want to say something meaningful about climbing, you have to do it without numbers"

2. "Climb with quiet feet."

One of the quotes in the Gunks guide:
"Well in my opinion there are no hard rules for climbing a route, only for talking about it later." Peter Boyle

"Just 'cause you can climb 5.11 doesn't make 5.8, 5.4."

"There's no such thing as cheating in climbing. Only lying."

A story from my past 5+ years ago or so:

I go out for a winter day of sport cragging at Queen Creek in Arizona with about 5 or 6 people. Most of these people would qualify as noobs (all friends of my friend I made plans with). One is a guy who has climbed perhaps twice? I watch him toprope a couple routes in a manner akin to a newborn kitten trying to crawl up its mother (motor skills seriously in question). He never looks down once and his feet are pawing and paddling and popping off the rock constantly.

I tell him to watch me climb my next route and pay attention to how I look down at my feet (using my stereoptic vision to configure my footholds precisely, yo). I instruct him to use this same ability to conquer his next route. He proceeds to do so and then exclaims, mid-route,

"THAT is the BEST advice I have EVER HEARD!!!"

It still makes me giggle when I think about his vocal intonation to this day. (Sadly, that is probably the pinnacle of my advice abilities in terms of unwavering quality and soundness.)




Words of wisdom given unto me by my friend Fred from Tucson one sunny day in Joshua Tree several years ago:

"If a cam doesn't seem to place that well in the crack, flip it around and try it the other way."

I still remember his advice, use it often, and have passed it on to others new to the art.

My favorite nugget of wisdom comes from the man, the myth, the legend: Mr. Tim Fisher. I was sketching out on a scary trad pitch somewhere in NC and whining about the crappy piece I had just placed when Tim yelled up to me, just as cheerful as can be, "it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!"

...and dammit he was right.

Climbers aren't often politically correct, and my partner made that abundantly clear one day. I was already 15 or so feet out from my last piece, getting ready to pull over a small roof, and fiddling with crappy, psychological gear. After a minute of this, my partner's call came ringing loudly from below,

"RUN IT OUT, FAGGOT!!!"

It turned out to be pretty good advice.

On a rainy day, randomly in a discussion with Jim Donini at the Yosemite Lodge.

"Where are you guys from?" -Jim

"I grew up in Ind-" -Me, being cut off

"No. You're a climber. You never grew up." -Jim

" your buckle on your chest strap of your pack is also a whistle"

felt like a tool been climbing with the pack over a yr lol

Paraphrased from Between a Rock and a Hard Place:

"Geology is a current event"

"You got it, bro!"

- Anonymous slack-jawed gawker at the crag

While I was having trouble committing to the beginning of Buissonier: "Remember, it's a 5.7. If you get into 5.10 territory, you're doing it wrong."

No, we didn't make it. The aliens start shooting at you midway up



I'm fine, I'm just having my history of serious commitment issues issue

"Remember to breath"
"If a bee stung you would you fall?" When debating free soloing up a crack in Squamish and many times since echoing inside my head.
"just skip a few meals and buy a cam instead. You'll have your own full rack in no time"
my favorite:
"Embrace the idea of climbing what's not there" ...or something like that. When asked for advice on climbing cracks. I'm sure Bobby Hanson will read see this so he can correct what he said exactly but that's how I remember it.

From a one armed hitchhiker in New South Wales, Australia, as we parted ways (not a climber, but still relevant I feel)

"Enjoy - that's what life's for"

I ran into an old school instructor who offered me this piece of wisdom:

FRICTION, its the "F" word of climbing

"drink alot so you can get high" said my climbing coach to two 11 year olds. (talking about water at a climbing comp.)

dont fuck up and die, dont fuck up and kill your partner...

• "Smile!"

• "The only way to be 100% sure you will not be hit by an avalanche is: don't go into avalanche terrain."

There's no bad ice, only bad ice climbers

"You realize your belaying, right?"