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Skull Cave
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Forgotten Years S 
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Pile Driver S 
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Skeletor S 
Skull Fuck S 

Pygmy Mastodon Boner 

YDS: 5.12a/b French: 7b Ewbanks: 26 UIAA: VIII+ ZA: 26 British: E5 6a

   
Type:  Sport, 1 pitch
Consensus:  YDS: 5.12a/b French: 7b Ewbanks: 26 UIAA: VIII+ ZA: 26 British: E5 6a [details]
FA: Eric Candee
Page Views: 950
Submitted By: Pinklebear on Nov 12, 2001

You & This Route  |  Other Opinions (20)
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Bryan Ferris on Pygmy Mastodon Boner. Photo by Mic...

Description 

This is the rightmost route in the Skull Cave and one of the single worst pitches in North America. If you think I"m exaggerating then go have a crack at it . . .

Climb past the grey cold-shuts through the hollow, overlapping flake/blocks into a corner below a capping roof. Turn the roof then lower off the last bolt -- or downjump -- or something.

Before climbers re-named it, the Skull Cave used to be named Old Maid's Kitchen, which is what the town locals still call it. Apparently an Old Maid of sorts used it as a kitchen to cook for some menfolk. Not much else is known.

If you think of the cave as Old Maid's Kitchen and choose not to climb here, you'll probably have a blast. If, however, you insist on seeing it as the "Skull Cave," then prepare to lock horns with a seeping, subpar climbing venue replete with sharp, barnacle-lipped pockets, oozing clumps of toxic moss and huecos filled with venomous spiders and various bits of nameless filth.

Just think of the Old Maid soloing this route in her cookin' shoes as you fumble desperately for a dirt-covered sloper at the lip of the cave and success will be yours!

Protection 

7-8 quickdraws and a rope.


Photos of Pygmy Mastodon Boner Slideshow Add Photo
Bryan Ferris on Pygmy Mastodon Boner. Photo by Michael Levato.
Bryan Ferris on Pygmy Mastodon Boner. Photo by Mic...

Comments on Pygmy Mastodon Boner Add Comment
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By Peter Beal
From: Boulder Colorado
Nov 15, 2001

The worst route in the country? How about the route right next to it which I am reluctant to admit to having wasted hours of my life falling at the crux. How about the redoubtable Astroglide at the Crystal Cave? Sure it's a pile but let's be reasonable.
By richard magill
Aug 19, 2004

Yes, this is a sucky line.Dirty with weird clips -usually in-situ, rotten looking quicks.

In spite of its impressive appearance, Skull Cave doesn't offer much for most climbers.The 13's are sick hard, and the 12's are lame and dirty.Pile Driver is just about the only attraction here for me.
By Anonymous Coward
Aug 20, 2004

Good story. Remind me not to move to Rifle!
By Adam Holmes
Aug 20, 2004

And let's not forget the bolts that are half-correded from multiple seasons of water seepage. Makes every bolt feel like a time-bomb.
By Anonymous Coward
Aug 20, 2004

Yeah, yeah. But the name is wicked cool.
By Ashley Gann
Jul 27, 2008

This route is really not that bad, It's somewhat large moves on big jugs. It is not worth just blowing off, there are much worse routes in the canyon. People exaggerate way to much on how bad it is. It's really not that unpleasant at all.
By Monomaniac
Administrator
From: Morrison, CO
Jul 27, 2009

Apparently I'm crazy, but I actually like this route. I thought it had some cool moves and relatively nice rock (for the Skull Cave). My big complaint is that it doesn't have a finish; it just stops arbitrarily with a strenuous clip, and then "Take!"
By Peter Beal
From: Boulder Colorado
Jul 27, 2009

A lot of routes at Rifle seem to end like that whether you wanted it to work out that way or not.
By goatboywonder
Aug 23, 2009
rating: 5.12a/b 7b 26 VIII+ 26 E5 6a

I am surprised at the trash talk this route gets. I thought is was pretty fun, even with the stupid ending.
By Jay Samuelson
From: Denver CO
Jul 20, 2010
rating: 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a

I thought this line was pretty fun as well. Not much of an ending, but still decent. Plus, there's never a line.