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Is telling your chick to "kick rocks" trundling?

Original Post
trix · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 10

I just couldnt take it anymore. All of the nagging about cleaning up my shit, all the dirty looks when I come home later than usual obviously looking like I had a good time. Showing up late for the formal get togethers with the corporate yuppies with my dirtbag buddies wanting to have a few beers, smoke some green and talk about the climbs. This was the last straw her: "your going climbing again?" me: "again?" "You know that I do this every weekend" her: "you didnt see I had something planned on the calendar?" me: "why would I check the calendar?" "you know that this is what I do on the weekends" her: "when are you going to grow up" me: "i admire the dudes I see who are killing it and my dad's age" her: "this is going nowhere" "you obviously dont love me or you would care about my feelings and stay home sometimes" "dont touch me" door slams. Me: grabbed my gear and headed for the truck...

BigJuggsjohnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 220

its all about compromise...some people dont understand, but sometimes you cant be so stubborn and gonna give in to take in. If you make a contract of what makes you happy then what makes her happy its very possible to incorporate and to adjust to each others needs and likes. make it clear that climbing is mandatory but be willing to clean things up, be supportive, polite etc. dont be stubborn. in time you both will adjust.

Travis Dustin · · Mexico Maine · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 1,665

My wife is the same way. "you're going climbing again!" Thats the normal response. She understands that whether Im climbing or hiking she wont see me that day, but it annoys the hell out of her. She also knows if I dont go get outside I'll be in a bad mood. It also annoys her when I get back and am all excited about what i just did and talk about it. "is that all you can talk about?"

skiclimber · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2006 · Points: 30

Tell her sorry baby, but the mountains are just more important, Even God says so,

See story below.

theonion.com/articles/god-a…

APBT1976 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 55

Took me many obsessions "women" included to figure out that some things, some types are just better off without. For me it ended up i chose being better off without women and better off with my obsessive hobbies or whatever you want to call them.

Some would say find the right person and it will all work out. I say relationships are about a give and take and i want to climb 100% of my free time and there is no give in that. Not many people "women" are really 100% focused and into anything other than survival..

Figure out where you lie in the scheme of all this. I know i for many years banged my head against the wall in relationships. I just did not get that what "i" wanted was more important to me than having the company of another person and someone to count on through lifes ups and downs. To be honest i find it much more easy not having someone there and i get to do what i want when i want how i want.

Key is 100% of the time!!!

APBT1976 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 55
Jake Jones wrote: My wife USED to be like that. The key is to prepare her for much worse than what's going to happen. I tell mine that I'd be thrilled if I could get out on a trip twice a month. Then I tell her at least once a month is the least I can do to stay happy and satisfied. So I maybe get in 7 or 8 trips a year, which is fine with me. And she's happy because she thinks, hey, he's compromising. He wants to do this every month, but he doesn't. Small victories, strategy, understanding, and a little sacrifice will usually get you what you want, or damn close to it.
Nothing worse than spending the day or evening doing something your wife really wants to do just so that when it comes your turn to want she cant say no.

Freak that game. Stresses me out just to read that nonsense....
Nick Stayner · · Wymont Kingdom · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 2,315

It's OK trix. Plenty of women who enjoy climbing as much as you do. Now you're free to find one!

Travis Dustin · · Mexico Maine · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 1,665

Jake Im with you. You gotta pick and choose. I want to climb all weekend. What usually happens is ill get up really early go to the crag for a few hours then back home by early afternoon, or get a few hours of bouldering in at the local rocks. Than every couple of weeks get a real trip.

rogerk klinger · · Burlington, VT · Joined Nov 2010 · Points: 1,603
mitchy B · · nunya gotdamn business. · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 0

Dude, it sounds like you have come fork in the road, the road to right is backing off of the climbing a LITTLE not much though, and the road to the left is tell your chick to relax and that she knew you liked to pull down on ALL of your free time. I'm leaning to the left on this as i have in the past. I was in the same boat as you, my chick would get pissy if i wanted to got climbing when she wanted to got to the MALL. She knew i HATED SHOPPING and still do. i don't know how long you've been with this chick, but sounds like she needs to chil. I would start thinking about flying solo and just bang girls here and there if i were you and sooner or later a chick will come along that will appreciate you.

Kirsten KDog · · Edgewater, CO · Joined Jun 2010 · Points: 80
APBT1976 wrote:Took me many obsessions "women" included to figure out that some things, some types are just better off without. For me it ended up i chose being better off without women and better off with my obsessive hobbies or whatever you want to call them. Some would say find the right person and it will all work out. I say relationships are about a give and take and i want to climb 100% of my free time and there is no give in that. Not many people "women" are really 100% focused and into anything other than survival.. Figure out where you lie in the scheme of all this. I know i for many years banged my head against the wall in relationships. I just did not get that what "i" wanted was more important to me than having the company of another person and someone to count on through lifes ups and downs. To be honest i find it much more easy not having someone there and i get to do what i want when i want how i want. Key is 100% of the time!!!
Very true. I think it boils down to selfishness, in essence. Not trying to be mean, but that's what it is. You can have 2 people who are both extremely into climbing, but it's not going to work out regardless if 1 person (often the guy) can't give at all in the relationship. It's the whole "give a little, get a little" concept. I've personally been through this exact thing, and it sucks (as the female trying to make it work.)

I think this is really hard for a lot of guys to understand. It has been my (sad) experience that climber guys can be completely self-involved with their own wants. And it doesnt matter how into climbing the girl is----if the guy has stuff he wants to do, then that's it. I say if it is all about you-----and that's totally fine!----then don't bring a girl into the mix anyways. Save her the despair and stress. Be on your own, and maybe one day in a few years you'll realize that you miss/want that companionship and love, and you'll be more willing to compromise and be an adult in the situation :-)
Tank Evans · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2007 · Points: 135

Come on guys, we all know climbers never get laid...

Anonymous · · Unknown Hometown · Joined unknown · Points: 0
Tank Evans wrote:Come on guys, we all know climbers never get laid...
I got belayed once... :'(
BigJuggsjohnson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 220

This is pretty sad though. U should be chasing the girl instead of running away with your buddies. If it came to that point call it quitts. Both of u deserve someone who appreciates u for who u r. Life is too short. Maybe u need to just be alone and go find yourself. If u love somebody u will be willing to invest into the relationship and compromise. Its not about climbing. If its not there its not there...

mitchy B · · nunya gotdamn business. · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 0

WOW, that's heavy and GREAT ADVICE. Sounds like i should start making a few phone calls. The chick i dumped was hot but NOT into being outside at all, no camping, hiking and unfortunately not into climbing. I too tried to take her to a really nice spot where i like to climb and she could just chill and have a few brews and watch her guy crank. At first i was all into trying to bring her and keep her happy. I would make a kick ass lunch, bring wine ,crackers,cheese all kinds of shit. It was always the same shit, i'm hot, it's buggy, are you almost finished(after only an hour or so) finally i was like, sorry baby you can't tag along anymore. At least i put forth some kind of effort.

drpw · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2010 · Points: 0

is it alright if i swoop in there? what are her favorite flowers?

slk · · Reno, NV · Joined Jan 2011 · Points: 130
Jake Jones wrote:Every weekend? Unless your girl is a climber too, and I mean a climber, not a girl that you nail occasionally that happens to own a harness and shoes because you climb, then being gone every weekend isn't going to work. Sounds like you made a decision. Just know though, that for the future, unless you have a girl that's obsessed with climbing as you are, you either have to stay single and just get some strange where you can, or you have to sacrifice something to keep a relationship fun and healthy for BOTH people.
hahah, my lady loves it...

her: you're going climbing this weekend, right?
me: yup
her: cool! have fun!
me: love you babe!

we've been together 10 yrs... she just started climbing recently so that helps too...
i smell a rat · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 0

maybe I'm to young to understand but didnt she know that you were into this stuff when she met you? My older brother is always saying how women grow up playing with barbie's and expect thier man to be "ken" and do whatever she wants and he also says they expect they can "change" you. Only 21 so I get kicked to the curb and kick to the curb alot.

cmagee1 Magee · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2012 · Points: 35

My last girlfriend dumped me because I was spending too much time at the gym. My current girlfriend lives 2 hours away so I get all the gym time I want. :) weekend trips are harder tho since that's generally when I get to see her.

Sir Wanksalot · · County Jail · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 10

Ok... So elanor is trix and big jugs? Why does she act like a man and woman? I think she needs help.

If trix is for real, sounds like your girl is a real needy one. I suggest you bail and fast. Needy girls will just make your life hard. Find another girl that has her own interests, and you should be good. Be really stuborn, hardheaded and short fused, and if you find a lady to deal with that, then you should be all good!

Sir Wanksalot · · County Jail · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 10
BigJuggsjohnson wrote:its all about compromise...some people dont understand, but sometimes you cant be so stubborn and gonna give in to take in. If you make a contract of what makes you happy then what makes her happy its very possible to incorporate and to adjust to each others needs and likes. make it clear that climbing is mandatory but be willing to clean things up, be supportive, polite etc. dont be stubborn. in time you both will adjust.
When are you going to STFU!?! Nobody cares about your BS... Didn't you get booted from this site just to come back?
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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