FAQs: Crag Questions by Season

So, after being on this site for a few years, I've noticed that the same questions tend to pop up almost cyclically, as the year progresses. So, I thought it would be nice to summarize answers to some of these more standard questions.

I dunno, maybe the admins should put this public service message up at the top of the page, in place of the FiveTen blogs or something.

January-February:
You should probably go to Cochise or Jtree. It is too cold for Moab. You might be all right in Red Rocks. Anywhere in the East will be raining. No, Hueco Tanks is not closed. You need reservations, and a guide for areas that are not North Mountain, though.

March:
Yes, I know you want to go to Indian Creek for Spring Break. It will probably snow. You should go anyway. Anything in the East will be raining.

April:
Ok, now go to Indian Creek. Yes, it will be raining at the Red. You should go anyway.

May:
It will still be raining at the Red. You should go anyway. Blackflies may suck you dry and then dryhump your corpse if you go to Rumney. You should never go to Rumney.*

June-August:
Maple Canyon or Tensleep. Do NOT go anywhere east of the Mississippi this time of year, no matter what anyone tells you. It will be humid. And probably raining.

September-October:
No questions should be asked this time of year. Literally every cragging area is prime right now. Leave the internet and go climb.

• (even in Rumney)

November:
Yes, The Creek will be cold for Thanksgiving. You should go anyway. The Red might be nice, but will probably be raining.

December:
Yes, everything is "still cool" in Potrero, so you can stop asking. You're not going to get kidnapped, shot, or raped. Fly if possible, and don't hang out at the border. In five minutes, Magic Ed will post up that "todo esta tranquilo aqui." The Red will probably be raining.

Oh, and no matter what time of year it is, never make a trip to Texas, Wisconsin, or the Front Range just to climb.

It will be cold and foggy in the Bay Area, and there's not much interesting rock. You will have to go to Tahoe, where it will either be prime or cold, wet, or snowy.

+2
Best post I've seen for 2013 so far.
Especially the run down for Sept-Oct... so true.
It's almost painful having to choose where to spend those precious weekends w/ so many amazing areas having great weather.

What is up with your eastern crags hate? I find your idea of a standard response highly inaccurate. It Looks like an Rc.com post.

The Old Northwest? Please explain. Having grown up there I get your fascination with the rain forecast, but I'd prefer "the Good Old Northwest."

Benjamin Chapman wrote:The Old Northwest? Please explain. Having grown up there I get your fascination with the rain forecast, but I'd prefer "the Good Old Northwest."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North…

Dom wrote:What is up with your eastern crags hate? I find your idea of a standard response highly inaccurate. It Looks like an Rc.com post.

Come on out to the Sierras. You'll understand.
;-)

Dom wrote:What is up with your eastern crags hate? I find your idea of a standard response highly inaccurate. It Looks like an Rc.com post.

Either camhead has climbed over most of the country, or he's just repeating what everybody out east says, which is that the climbing sucks, and nobody should go there, and you certainly shouldn't tell all your friends about it either.

Brian Scoggins wrote: Either camhead has climbed over most of the country, or he's just repeating what everybody out east says, which is that the climbing sucks, and nobody should go there, and you certainly shouldn't tell all your friends about it either.

"Back east". It's "Back east" and "Out west".

TWK wrote: "Back east". It's "Back east" and "Out west".

Or "down east" for Maine. Where it also rains continually.

It would be cool to see an actual breakdown of the frequency of topics on MP. Maybe in pie chart form or as a bar graph...