I wouldn't call him a crusty old climber but I've learned a lot from him.

"If you can't find good gear placement, just climb higher there is bound to be something!!" Todd K

On buying a new pair of climbing shoes:

"If your nose starts to bleed when trying them on, go up a half size."

"There are old climbers and there are bold climbers, but there are no old, bold climbers"

After toiling for hours up the "Valley of Death" falling every 2 or 3 steps in snow up to our necks, we came to a realization that without Skis or snowshoes, we would never reach the Cassin. As our spirits sunk and the grim realization set in, the Old Man uttered those immortal words, that hit the nail right on the head..."Well f*#k my dog."

Classic. I miss him every day.

Clipping old, 1/4" bolts that are drilled into "Chugach crud" along the Seward highway near Anchorage, AK:

"I figure I can either trust the gear, or I can trust myself."

The old lead rule "the leader must not fall" still applies out on the highway!

What's wrong with falling? "No mistake or pancake." I never wore a helmet in the olden days, until the day I took a hundred footer on overhanging ice. It had nothing to do with the helmet. That was a long time in the air! Later, I was liebacking on the base of the Sentinal and " the feeling of peeling" arose. At that point, I felt it was a moral issue not to fall.

At that point in time, it was wrong for ME to fall, that's all. Other times, it's ok. If you never consider the reality of falling, why bother with all the gear? Really. It's ok.

Ropes are for mentors. How else can we lure you onto terrain where you probably wouldn't go on your own, in hopes you break a sacrosanct trad rule, then call out gleefully, "slack penalty!"

Climbing in Garden of the Gods
Turon: "How do you get those ropes up there?"
Cliff: "Trained falcons sir. We get them from the Air Force Academy."

While on a trip to take some newbie girls climbing to Shelf Road my buddy Phil spouts as I'm about to lead off
"This looks easy for you, I'm not putting you on til the 3rd bolt."

One day I convinced my trad mentor to take it one step further and give me a crash course on aid. So we drive to a slabby piece of the South Platte. After some low class 5 scrambling I get my first placement, which was a cliffhanger hook, and he says:
"Good I want your next six placements to be hooks. This is the accelerated class."
Terrified and six hooks later I get a decent micro wire.
him: "Nice work, now you can relax."
I've been about it ever since.

While on an alpine mixed pitch in Rocky Mountain NP
my partner: "How is it?"
me with much sarcasm: "Ohhhh you're going to love this piece..."

While on lead in Rifle, Stoner (that's really his name) has fallen from the same move 5 or 6 times when he shouts down:
"I'm stuck, you see anything down there?"
me being the joker masochist that I am: "How about a hand jam or knee bar?"
him 30sec later: "HEY! That worked great!"
me, wide eyed and trying not to sound surprised: "See you need to climb with me more."
The folks next to us thought we were nuts.

when I borrowed some big cams for "the mace", Jeff said "ya know you're gonna die on that thing, don't ya?"

[quote]A guy named Dave in Boulder, just after we discovered the body of a deceased hiker that had fallen from the top of the cliff: "He's not getting any f-ing deader, let's climb."[/quote]

That is the funniest quote I've seen in this thread!!!

The best thing I've heard in my very short time in this hobby came from my good friend Andrew G (keep in mind I'm scared to death of heights):

Me about 30 feet up on my first climb ever: "I wanna come down now"

Andrew: "I'm not letting you down until you touch the chains"

Me: "No for real I wanna come down"

Andrew: "why?"

Me: "I'm scared"

Andrew "You're not even giving me good excuses yet!"

Q:Why is climbing better than sex?
A:You can wear a harness and not be kinky.
A:You have a guidebook to tell you who's been there before you.
A; You have someone to catch you when you fall off.Etc.etc.

as i was leaning back to rap off of limelight in the gunks the seasoned guy i was climbing with said "this is where most climbers eat shit, see you on the ground"

"You are on belay, just don't fall!"

And when you get to the anchor which turns out to be a few slung pieces of shrubbery: "Don't worry, roots down to Satan's tail!"

"Do it fast and don't f@#k up"
- Dave H.

"If you wait for the weather, you don't get sh@T done."

CHUCK PRATT

RIP

Shut up and climb!

If you're not bleeding, you're not having fun...

"Oh . . . I see this going to be an aid pitch!"

-- Larry DeAngelo, seeing me stick my hands into the chalk bag before starting off on lead (I did without chalk on the remaining pitches, heh heh).

JL

"What's with all these falcons man . They are fuckin' up all the routes. You can't even do the P,O, Wall "
JohnMallery to an unsuspecting ranger with a group of tourists in El Cap meadow '84

If you haven't done Half Dome or El Capitan, you know in your heart, you're light.

John Long

" Make the move, bitch!"

Bridwell to his female partner who was stalling out on lead.

I use that on all the time.

One of the best quotes I've ever heard was from a younger climber, MacGregor Smith, with whom I was climbing many years ago. "Yeah, there's some moves you can only protect with a .5 tricam. Fortunately there's one fixed in every one of those places." Then there was Dave Allard many years before that as I belayed him up to my absolutely worthless anchor somewhere off route in the middle of no man's land on the vast expanse of Whitehorse Ledge. "Ya know what's wrong with this place? If ya fell, you'd live."

1980's Jtree quote- "climb hard or get hurt trying"

Kurt - that sounds like an old '70's Devils Lake quote: "Have fun or get hurt bad!"

"Climbing would be a truly great thing if it weren't for all that climbing." origin unknown to me

"Remember, it's always desperate in The Black" I don't know the origin, It was probably Kor