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Having a hard time getting things to slide in smoothly? Get yourself some Astro Glide!
If you are at a point in your climbing career where you find yourself confused as to how you want to take it, this climb will definately give you some much needed direction after it bends you over and pushes your shit in.
Starts off on slopers with crimpers located on some really neat red colored rock and gets straight to the business in the blonde. For those who like it rough, this climb delivers. For those who wish to assume the passive role, this climb is well bolted and the rides are safe. You can either get kinky with it or call take and think about what you are getting yourself into before you commit.
If you like sticking your fingers into holes, this climb has monos, duos, slits and slots that are very accomodating. For those of you who like to use your fists and arms, this route has cracks that have the perverbial, "throwing a hot dog down a hallway" kind of quality to them. You can even chicken out and use a chicken wing move at the very top when your last bolt disappears from view as you crawl on your belly, begging like a dog for the anchors. Do I hear a whip cracking somewhere?
Sits by itself on a prow about thirty feet to the right of Astro Pop. Which is good, because most people using Astro Glide should be by themselves anyway.
Get on this climb! It's like sex! It is full of pumpy, scary, exhausting fun guaranteed to leave scratches on your back and make you walk funny for a couple of days after it is all said and done. It is the perfect 5.10 to determine if you are ready to have your Astro Cherry popped. The perfect warm-up for Astro Pop.
Safe to use with latex. Rub some in the crotch of your jeans if he or she only lets you dry hump at this point in your relationship. Apply liberal amounts to areas that have never seen action before. And for the love of God, remember that this stuff is very hard to get out of the spaces in between computer keyboard keys. Q-Tips won't even get it out and you will have some explaining to do. If you don't want to get busted by your mom, throw the used porno mags away in your neighbor's trash.
And oh yeah, take ten quickdraws and a dynamic personal anchor system since one of the anchors is closed while the other is open.
Astro Glide 5.10c
Slip and slide...take a ride!
Starts on neat, pink rock.
The red rope is hanging on Astro Glide, 5.10c The ...
|By Snake Ferguson|
From: Rapid City, SD
Jan 8, 2012
LOL Your descriptions are the best, man. F'n ridiculous.